STACK 

ANNEX 


5 

060 

145 


9SRTRAHD  SMITHS 
BOOK  8TORB 

149  PACVflf 

r.ft.Vf,    Pr  A(  H     (A  I 


'-/- 


BY 

CORYDON 


BOSTON 
D.   LOTHROP   AND   COMPANY 

32    FRANKLIN    STREET 


COPYRIGHT,  1882. 
D.  LOTHROP  &  COMPANY. 


THIS   LITTLE   VOLUME 

IS   DEDICATED  TO   MY    COUSIN 

JAMES  T.  BURDETT,  THE  HUMORIST, 

IN   THE   HOPK  THAT  ITS  SUCCESS  MAY    EQUAL  HIS   MERITS,  WHICH  ARE 
ALREADY    TOO  WELL  KNOWN  TO  THE  PUBLIC 

TO   MAKE   LAUDATION  AT   MY   HANDS 

EITHER  NECESSARY   OR  ACCEPTABLE. 


2061820 


CONTENTS. 


I.     HATCHING  THE  EGG 7 

II.     A  FORETASTE 22 

III.  "THE  CAMPBELLS  ARE  COMING" 38 

IV.  "  HUMPTY  DUMPTY  HAD  A  GREAT  FALL  "       55 

V.     THE  ADVENT  OF  THE  OGRESS 74 

VI.  "  THERE'S  A  LETTER  IN  THE  CANDLE  "     90 

VII.     A  NEW  EXPERIENCE 105 

VIII.     PLOTS  AND  COUNTERPLOTS 120 

IX.     POLLY  TAKES  A  PLEASURE  DRIVE 132 

X.     THE  REVERSE  OF  THE  MEDAL 144 

XL      AN    UNDESIRABLE    CONQUEST 162 

XII.     UP  A  TREE -. 175 

XIII.     THE  CURTAIN  FALLS 189 


POLLY'S  SCHEME. 


CHAPTER  I. 

HATCHING   THE   EGG. 

NOVEL,  by  George !  " 
"And  so  feasible." 

"You  couldn't  do  better,  mum." 

Such  were  the  favorable  encomiums  which 
greeted  the  Plan  when  it  first  peeped  timidly 
out  of  the  shell,  with  nothing  on  but  its  pin- 
feathers. 

It  originated  with  Mrs.  Brooks,  was  immedi- 
ately stamped  with  the  full  approval  of  your  hum- 
ble chronicler,  and  received  the  cordial  support 
and  sympathy  of  our  faithful  retainer  and  general 
factotum,  Mary  Cecilia  Mullaney.  The  Brooks 
family,  in  solemn  convention  assembled,  had  re- 
solved itself  into  a  committee  of  ways  and  means, 
and  was  groping  desperately  and  hopelessly  into 


8  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

labyrinths  of  confusion  and  uncertainty  when  the 
Plan  was  conceived  and  submitted. 

"  Where  was  Moses  when  the  light  went  out  ? " 
In  the  dark.  So  were  we  at  that  moment.  Is  it 
any  wonder,  then,  that  we  hailed  with  rapture  any 
pathway,  however  rough,  which  promised  an  es- 
cape from  our  difficulties  ? 

It  might  turn  out  to  be  a  straw  —  the  veriest 
ignis-fatuus  that  time  and  tide  alone  could  de- 
termine— but  to  our  hungering  eyes  it  presented 
all  the  appearance  of  a  comfortable  raft,  furnished 
with  all  the  modern  improvements,  and  fully  capa- 
ble of  bearing  our  weight,  and  we  scrambled  upon 
it  as  eagerly  as  a  sailor  deserting  a  sinking  ship. 

We  were  seated  around  the  dining-room  table  at 
the  time,  in  our  third-story  flat  —  to  increase  the 
tone,  we  always  called  it  "apartment" — and  the 
momentous  question  under  discussion  was,  how  to 
live  and  breathe  and  have  a  being  during  the 
approaching  summer,  and  at  the  same  time  extract 
the  superlative  of  enjoyment  and  comfort  from  the 
minimum  of  expense.  How  to  accomplish  this 
last  was  a  poser.  For  it  is  easier  for  a  rich  man 
to  pass  through  the  eye  of  a  needle,  than  for  a 
poor  one  to  summer  reasonably  in  the  neighbor- 


HATCHING    THE    EGG.  9 

hood  of  Gotham  and  not  wish  he  could  dispose 
of  his  stomach  for  a  season. 

The  truth  of  this  assertion  Mrs.  Brooks  and  I 
can  testify  to,  for  we  belong,  alas !  to  that  noble, 
but  impecunious  army  of  young  married  couples 
who  ought  to  have,  but  through  the  irony  of  Fate 
haven't  —  money ! 

The  longer  I  live  upon  this  under-globe,  the  more 
convinced  I  become  that  the  way  the  goods  of  this 
world  are  parcelled  out  is  an  egregious  mistake ; 
that  to  talk  about  the  sun  shining  with  impartiality 
upon  the  just  and  the  unjust  alike,  is  very  pretty 
by  way  of  metaphor,  but  so  far  as  practice  is  con- 
cerned, the  most  arrant  nonsense.  Though  by 
no  means,  I  hope,  a  communist,  I  freely  confess 
there  are  moments  in  my  life  —  chiefly,  of  course, 
when  the  shoe  pinches  my  own  foot  —  when  a 
furious  sense  of  the  injustice  of  things  existent 
grows  so  strong  within  me  that  I  almost  look  upon 
the  barriers,  if  not  a  justifiable,  at  least  a  natural 
resort  of  the  oppressed. 

It  certainly  seems  as  though  money  deliberately, 
and  with  few  exceptions,  sought  the  channels  where 
it  would  be  productive  of  least  good  ;  under-ground 
passages,  beyond  the  reach  of  the  thirsty. 


IO  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

* 

Point  me  out  a  mean,  miserable  curmudgeon, 
incapable  either  of  enjoying  life  himself  or  of  im- 
parting pleasure  to  others,  and,  as  a  rule,  that  man 
will  be  found  incased  up  to  his  ears  in  wealth. 

But  pshaw  !  these  complaints  of  the  impecunious 
and  oppressed  are  as  old  as  the  world's  history, 
and  I  feel  a  due  sense  of  my  folly  in  adding  to  the 
reams  and  reams  of  paper  which  have  already  been 
wasted  over  the  same  absorbing  subject,  and  —  cui 
bono  ?  As  I  said  then,  we  are  not  weary  and 
heavy  laden  carrying  our  share  of  the  world's 
wealth  ;  and  if  the  burdens  laid  upon  us  sometimes 
seem  greater  than  we  can  bear,  bags  of  gold  are 
never  among  the  number ;  and  the  meanest  word 
in  Webster — economy — runs  forever  in  our  ears,  like 
a  familiar  air  from  Pinafore  which  has  long  lost 
the  charm  of  novelty. 

At  the  dining-room  conference  above  referred 
to,  this  condition  of  shabby  gentility  was  ever 
present  before  us,  like  the  skeleton  at  the  feast, 
and  we  felt  constrained  to  say,  "  Get  thou  behind 
me,  Satan,"  to  the  allurements  of  fashionable  hotels 
at  five  dollars  per  diem,  as  delightful,  but  too  ex- 
pensive for  our  means. 

At  the  time  this  story  opens,  we  had  already 


HATCHING    THE    EGG.  II 

gone  through  the  gamut  of  cheap  and  nasty  varie- 
ties of  summering  in  the  country,  from  the  broken- 
down  hotel,  formerly  respectable,  but  now,  like 
ourselves,  shabby  genteel,  down  to  the  farm-house 
romantic  in  theory,  and  the  dismal  reverse  in 
actuality,  where  the  culinary  department  is  supplied 
only  with  such  articles  of  diet  as  cannot  be  sold, 
and  the  pigs  reject. 

Such  was  the  encouraging  outlook  when  Mrs.  B., 
who,  like  a  skillful  general,  had  kept  her  reserve 
force  well  in  hand  for  an  emergency,  suddenly 
launched  forth  as  follows  : 

"Supposing,"  she  began,  "instead  of  burying 
ourselves  in  a  horrid  boarding-house,  where  gossip- 
ing tabbies,  and  other  horrid  wretches  in  the  garb 
of  humanity,  delight  to  congregate  ;  or  subjecting 
ourselves  to  the  manifold  horrors  of  incarceration 
in  a  farm-house  where  the  cravings  of  appetite  are 
chilled  by  the  select  society  of  a  farmer  and  his 
sons  in  their  shirt  sleeves,  reeking  of  stables  and 
perspiration,  where  cows  abound,  but  no  milk,  hens, 
but  no  eggs  —  supposing,  I  repeat,  instead  of  rush- 
ing headlong  into  ills  with  which  we  are  already 
so  unpleasantly  intimate,  we  embrace  the  ills  we 
know  not  of ;  rent  a  nice  little  furnished  house  for 


12  POLLYS    SCHEME. 

the  summer,  persuade  our  friends  to  live  with  us 
on  the  cooperative  plan  of  sharing  expenses,  save 
money,  and  be  happy." 

This  was  the  happy  outburst  of  eloquence  whereby 
Mrs.  B.  immortalized  herself,  and  awakened  the 
enthusiasm  recorded  in  the  opening  lines  of  this 
chapter.  Eureka !  We  were  saved !  We  were 
delivered  out  of  the  hands  of  the  Philistines ! 

We  could  snap  our  fingers,  metaphorically  speak- 
ing, at  all  boarding-house  keepers,  both  of  the  male 
and  female  persuasion,  who  went  about  through 
the  land  like  ravening  wolves,  seeking  whom  they 
might  devour,  their  mouths  full  of  promises,  their 
hearts  full  of  lies. 

This  solution  of  all  our  difficulties  seemed  so 
entirely  satisfactory  and  to  the  point  as  to  render 
further  seeking  unnecessary  and  vain  ;  so  we  gave 
ourselves  up  to  rejoicing  over  the  product  of  Mrs. 
B.'s  inventive  mind.  The  more  we  discussed  the 
Plan,  the  more  feasible  and  advantageous  it  ap- 
peared, until  we  fell  to  wondering  that  it  had  never 
occurred  to  us  before,  and  looked  back  upon  the 
past  four  summers  of  our  married  life  as  a  signal 
failure. 

It  was  not  until  the  clock  warned  us  that  mid- 


HATCHING   THE    EGG.  13 

night  was  upon  us,  that  we  retired  to  rest ;  and 
then  it  was  only  to  dream  of  palatial  country  seats, 
sumptuous  fare,  and  no  outlay. 

If  our  plan  was  pleasing  over  night,  it  certainly 
lost  nothing  by  being  slept  upon,  and  the  following 
morning  we  were  like  children  who  had  suddenly 
come  into  the  possession  of  a  much-longed-for  toy ; 
our  new  scheme  had  taken  such  strong  hold  on  us 
that  nothing  else  seemed  worthy  of  a  moment's 
consideration.  I  firmly  believe  that  the  news  of 
the  South  having  again  seceded  would  have  made 
but  little  impression  upon  us  that  morning ;  we 
would  have  received  it  with  slight  comment,  and 
resumed  the  discussion  of  summer  cooperation. 
Even  Frederick  William,  heir  to  our  fondest  hopes, 
—  and  very  little  just  now  of  a  more  substantial 
character  —  &tat  two  years  and  six  months,  caught 
up  the  threads  of  our  enthusiasm  as  they  fell,  and 
raced  around  the  Flat  like  one  possessed,  with  the 
cry,  "  Me  want  to  go  down  the  hill  in  the  country, 
in  the  country  down  the  hill ;  me  want  a  napple 
too." 

Mrs.  B.  appeared  at  breakfast,  armed  with  paper 
and  pencil,  and  figured  out  probable  expenses  over 
beefsteak  and  coffee,  while  I  held  a  mental  full- 


14  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

dress  parade  of  our  friends,  and  picked  out  such  as 
I  deemed  worthy  of  a  share  in  our  Eden  of  the 
Blest. 

We  fought  a  prolonged  and  desperate  battle  for 
the  possession  of  the  triple  sheet  of  the  Herald, 
finally  compromising  on  a  share  and  share  alike 
basis,  and  with  a  contemptuous  sniff  at  the  "  sum- 
mer board "  column,  which  had  heretofore  been 
pregnant  with  interest  in  our  eyes,  we  turned  our 
attention  to  the  literature  of  "  furnished  houses  to 
rent  for  the  summer,"  and  devoured  it  with  the 
eagerness  displayed  by  a  book-worm  over  some 
newly-discovered  volume  of  "forgotten  lore." 

Consultation  followed  consultation,  and  it  was 
finally  decided,  as  a  preliminary  step  towards  the 
accomplishment  of  our  precious  scheme,  to  tele- 
graph to  our  friends  the  Hillwigs  and  the  Thomp- 
sons, to  come  around  and  spend  the  evening 
without  fail.  This  would  afford  us  the  desired 
opportunity  of  unfolding  our  picture  before  their 
delighted  eyes  —  we  never  doubted  for  an  instant 
about  their  being  delighted  —  and  of  offering  them 
a  chance  to  become  cooperators  and  participators 
with  ourselves  of  the  good  things  in  store. 

I  accordingly  dispatched  the  telegrams  to  their 


HATCHING   THE    EGG.  1 5 

respective  addresses  that  morning  on  my  way  to 
a  country  real  estate  agent,  and  nothing  save  a 
consideration  of  the  expense  involved,  prevented 
me  from  furnishing  all  the  details  by  electricity, 
so  wrapped  up  was  I  in  the  promised  land. 

Evening  came  at  last,  and  with  it  the  Hillwigs, 
full  of  curiosity  to  learn  the  cause  of  our  dispatch  ; 
the  Thompsons,  however,  failed  to  put  in  an  ap- 
pearance. This  served  temporarily  to  dampen  our 
ardor,  for  we  were  conscious  of  having  a  good 
theme,  and  we  craved  a  full  house.  However,  it 
is  very  difficult  to  repress  the  Brooks  family  when 
they  are  specially  interested  over  any  topic,  so 
after  giving  the  Thompsons  a  fair  allowance  of 
time,  we  turned  up  the  lights  and  proceeded  to 
unroll  our  gorgeous  panorama.  Somehow,  the 
applause  that  followed  the  show  was  neither  as 
prolonged  nor  as  frequent  as  we  felt  we  had  a 
right  to  expect ;  it  was  like  being  caught  in  a 
thunder  shower  when  everything  promised  fair 
weather  and  we  had  no  umbrella. 

Hillwig  is  a  German  both  by  birth  and  educa- 
tion, and,  though  one  of  the  nicest  fellows  going,  is 
phlegmatic  after  the  manner  of  his  race,  and  slow 
to  arrive  at  a  conclusion ;  and  his  wife,  an  Ameri- 


1 6  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

can  girl  and  one  of  Mrs.  B.'s  school-mates,  whether 
naturally,  or  through  association,  takes  after  him, 
and,  as  a  consequence  of  this  defect  of  character — 
as  we  viewed  it  —  they  utterly  failed  to  roll  in 
ecstasy  over  the  Plan,  as  we  had  expected  them  to, 
and  we  were  intensely  disappointed.  Their  adjec- 
tives resembled  pails  of  water,  iced  too  closely  to 
be  pleasant  hearing,  and  I  think  for  one  moment 
Mrs.  B.  meditated  shutting  them  out  of  the  earthly 
paradise  we  had  under  construction,  and  letting 
them  wander  on  in  outer  darkness,  wailing  and 
gnashing  their  teeth.  The  memory  of  many  jolly 
evenings  passed  in  their  society,  however,  proved 
potent  at  this  trying  crisis  when  they  were  weighed 
in  the  balance  and  found  wanting,  and  gulping 
down  our  disappointment  at  their  lack  of  appre- 
ciation, we  ctiaritably  invited  them  to  come  into 
the  ark  and  be  saved.  In  spite  of  the  coolness 
with  which  they  had  listened  to  us,  the  Hillwigs 
seemed  not  only  willing,  but  pleased,  to  participate 
in  the  scheme,  and  over  our  cups  of  steaming 
coffee,  for  which  I  dispatched  the  elevator  boy  — 
one  of  the  few  advantages  of  the  flat  system  is 
that  judicious  bribing  will  at  any  time  secure  the 
invaluable  services  of  the  elevator  boy,  while  those 


HATCHING    THE    EGG.  I/ 

desiring  transit  have  a  choice  between  ringing  the 
bell  till  he  comes,  or  walking  —  our  enthusiasm 
became  contagious,  and  the  evening  ended  very 
pleasantly. 

Thus  a  beginning  was  made,  and  after  the  Hill- 
wigs'  departure,  we  congratulated  ourselves  that 
the  baby  was  learning  to  walk. 

Bright  and  early  as  the  law  allows,  the  follow- 
ing morning,  we  repaired  to  the  abiding-place  of 
the  Thompson  family,  to  ascertain  why  they  had 
not  honored  our  telegram. 

Inquiry  elicited  the  fact  that  they  had  read  it 
incorrectly ;  and  under  the  belief  that  we  were 
coming  to  see  them  "  without  fail "  the  previous 
evening,  had  remained  up  until  the  small  hours 
before  discovering  their  error,  and  then  retired 
in  an  atmosphere  of  sulphur  created  by  Doctor 
Thompson  —  Thompson  is  a  newly-fledged  phy- 
sician who  is  somewhat  irascible,  and  hates 
above  all  things  to  be  disappointed. 

After  condoling  with  them  over  their  wake,  and 
exchanging  a  few  commonplaces,  we  proceeded  to 
air  our  discovery  for  a  second  time ;  somewhat 
timidly  now,  for  the  memory  of  the  Hillwig 
shower  was  too  fresh  in  our  minds  for  us  to  feel 


1 8  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

any   certainty  as   to   how  it   would   be   received. 

This  time,  thanks  be  to  fortune !  our  fears  were 
misplaced ;  and  we  were  met  by  an  ovation. 

If  the  Doctor  and  his  wife  had  been  man-eating 
sharks  of  the  most  voracious  descriptions,  and 
after  a  ten  days'  fast  had  suddenly  been  brought 
into  tempting  proximity  with  a  human  limb,  they 
could  not  have  leaped  at  the  bait  in  livelier 
fashion  than  they  did.  Nothing  could  surpass 
the  rapture  and  delight  with  which  they  greeted 
the  unfolding  of  our  plan,  and  the  prompt  and 
hearty  endorsement  they  gave  it  when  our  tale 
was  told. 

"Brooksy,  old  boy,"  said  the  Doctor,  sinking 
ecstatically  upon  a  lounge,  as  though  his  emotions 
had  overpowered  him,  "  it's  enormous ;  and  I'm 
with  you  in  French,  English  and  German." 

Mrs.  Thompson  received  the  glad  tidings  in 
an  equally  favorable  manner  with  the  Doctor,  and 
in  the  height  of  her  exultation  at  being  invited 
to  participate  in  an  enterprise  of  such  promise, 
confided  the  whole  thing  to  the  baby,  a  scrap  of 
humanity  as  yet  guiltless  of  teeth,  and  just 
beginning  to  produce  a  peculiar  gurgling  sound 
which  was  entirely  void  of  meaning  to  the  un- 


HATCHING    THE    EGG.  IQ 

initiated,  but  which  the  Thompson  family,  nurse 
included,  insisted  on  calling  a  remarkably  distinct 
"  mamma." 

That  phenomenal  infant  on  being  appealed  to 
for  an  opinion,  actually  clapped  a  pair  of  chubby 
hands  and  smiled  all  over  in  approval,  whether  of 
the  plan  or  the  babel  of  sound  going  on  around 
it,  it  was  impossible  to  determine,  although  of 
course  the  ladies  insisted  it  was  the  former,  and 
"  blessed  its  heart "  for  its  astuteness. 

Need  I  say  it  was  a  love  feast  ? 

Happy  in  the  discovery  of  congenial  souls  with 
whom  to  share  our  enthusiasm,  we  fairly  bathed 
in  ecstatic  imaginings,  and  were  almost  too  impa- 
tient to  wait  for  summer  to  arrive,  so  eager  were 
we  for  our  dreams  to  become  realities. 

The  number  of  things,  possible  and  impossible, 
that  were  to  be  accomplished  as  easily  as  rolling 
off  a  log  under  the  cooperative  plan  of  living, 
would  fill  a  volume  the  size  of  this. 

There  was  nothing  too  high  for  us  to  reach. 
Among  other  things,  I  remember  it  was  proposed 
that  we  give  a  masked  ball,  and  invite  a  hundred 
or  so  of  friends  up  from  the  city,  utterly  regard- 
less of  where  they  were  to  be  housed  and  fed  ; 


2O  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

a  magnificent  collation  was  to  be  spread  on  the 
festive  occasion,  and  the  grounds  were  to  be  taste- 
fully illuminated  with  Japanese  lanterns  and  cal- 
cium lights. 

"The  cost  won't  amount  to  a  row  of  pins  all 
around,  you  know,  on  the  cooperative  plan," 
observed  the  Doctor  sagely. 

It  suddenly  occurred  to  Mrs.  Thompson  that 
we  must  have  a  name  for  our  Eden,  and  this  sug- 
gestion set  every  tongue  wagging  at  once,  just  as 
though  Shakespeare  hadn't  proven  conclusively 
that  it  is  the  rose  that  smells  sweet,  and  not  the 
name  after  all. 

The  list  submitted  for  approval  was  certainly 
varied  and  exhaustive,  "  Paradise  Villa,"  "  Saus 
Souci,"  "  High  Life  Cottage  "  and  "  Liberty  Hall " 
being  among  the  number.  Just  as  we  were  on 
the  point  of  coming  to  blows  over  this  important 
matter,  we  suddenly  recollected  that  we  had  not 
secured  our  land  of  "locust  and  wild  honey"  as 
yet,  and  concluded  that,  after  all,  it  might  be  as 
well  to  catch  our  hare  before  deciding  on  the  style 
of  cooking,  and  the  meeting  ended  as  amicably 
as  it  began,  the  Thompsons  pledging  us  their 
cordial  cooperation  in  our  plan. 


HATCHING    THE    EGG.  21 

On  the  way  home,  we  could  not  refrain  from 
contrasting  the  enthusiasm  displayed  over  the 
scheme  by  the  Thompson  family  with  the  luke- 
warm reception  it  met  at  the  hands  of  the  Hill- 
wigs — somewhat  detrimentally  to  the  latter's  power 
of  appreciation  —  and  ended  up  by  agreeing  that 
the  Doctor  and  his  wife  were  far  more  expansive, 
more  satisfactory  to  deal  with,  than  the  Hillwigs. 

In  fact,  the  Thompsons  had  entirely  won  us 
by  their  cordial  adoption  of  our  nursling. 

Ah !  how  little  it  is  given  to  us  weak  mortals 
here  below  to  read  the  future !  The  hour  was  at 
hand  when  our  eyes  should  be  open,  and  we 
should  be  able  to  discriminate  between  true 
friends  and  —  but  I  am  getting  ahead  of  my 
story. 

That  same  week  another  young  married  couple, 
the  Irvings,  were  enlisted  in  the  cause,  and  the 
plan  was  well  under  way. 

Thus  the  egg  was  hatched,  and  in  the  chapters 
to  come,  it  will  transpire  how  the  chicken  thrived. 


CHAPTER  II. 

A  FORETASTE. 

THE  developments  of  my  first  chapter  occurred 
about  the  middle  of  April,  and  we  went  to 
work  with  such  whole-souled  assiduity  the  rest  of 
the  month,  that  May  first  —  moving  day — found  us 
pleasantly  located  on  the  Sound,  at  a  place  known 
to  pleasure-seekers,  but  not  to  geographers,  by  the 
enticing  sobriquet  of  Maple  Grove;  in  fact,  the 
place  had  no  geographical  standing  whatever,  a 
fact  which,  to  our  romantic  eyes,  rather  enhanced 
its  value  than  otherwise.  It  was  situated  on  the 
Connecticut  coast,  about  two  miles  from  the  New 
York  border,  and  had  long  been  looked  favorably 
upon  as  a  likely  site  for  a  summer  hotel. 

Consisting  of  twenty-five  acres  of  land,  it  in- 
cluded among  its  attractions  a  picnic  grove,  a  fine 
bathing  beach,  a  pavilion  where  refreshments  and 
bathing  facilities  could  be  obtained  by  the  outside 
public  at  a  reasonable  stipend,  and  last,  but  by  no 


A    FORETASTE.  2J 

means  least,  in  our  enamored  eyes,  two  lovely 
summer  cottages  embowered  in  clematis  and 
honey-suckle. 

For  the  larger  of  these,  known  as  Maple  Grove 
Castle,  we  had  successfully  negotiated  with  the 
landlord  for  the  summer,  and  there  we  rapturously 
pitched  our  tents,  and  gave  ourselves  up  to  fond 
imaginings  of  the  delights  in  store  for  us  when 
June  should  usher  in  the  rest  of  the  society. 

Description  would  signally  fail  to  do  justice  to 
Maple  Grove  and  its  environs ;  surrounded  on  two 
sides  by  the  waters  of  the  Sound,  while  a  softly 
flowing  stream  known  as  Silvan  River,  laved  its 
grassy  banks  on  at  hird,  a  lovely  peninsula  was 
created,  and  nothing  save  a  narrow  connecting  link 
of  land  united  us  to  the  bustle  and  turmoil  of  the 
world  of  sorrows. 

Tall,  stately  trees  reared  their  majestic  heads 
here  and  there,  reminding  one  of  the  "stately 
homes  of  England,"  and  beyond  the  rolling,  well- 
kept  lawn  of  our  castle,  a  luxurious  undergrowth 
of  nature's  many-blended  shades  of  green,  made  a 
pleasing  object  for  the  tired  eye  to  rest  upon 
when  old  Sol  spent  his  summer  fury  on  the 
parched  earth.  Sitting  on  our  piazza.,  one  could 


24  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

look  out  through  the  foliage  as  it  was  blown  gently 
to  and  fro  by  the  summer  zephyrs,  and  catch  little 
fleeting  glances  of  the  blue  water  beyond ;  some- 
times at  night,  when  the  pale,  cold  rays  of  the 
moon  fell  brightly  on  these  little  patches,  and  a 
ship  could  be  seen  sailing  majestically  across 
them,  it  was  like  looking  at  .a  charming  vignette, 
painted  with  more  than  human  skill. 

As  far  as  the  Castle  itself  was  concerned,  if  it 
had  been  built  with  a  special  view  towards  accom- 
modating itself  to  the  requirements  of  the  cooper- 
ative plan,  it  could  not  have  answered  the  purpose 
better  than  it  did. 

Every  room  in  it,  for  example,  was  the  best  room, 
so  that  the  possibility  of  any  disagreement  occur- 
ring when  the  allotment  of  quarters  came  to  be 
made,  never  entered  our  heads  as  within  the  range 
of  mundane  casualities.  Would  you  believe  it, 
though  ?  as  it  is  always  the  impossible  that  happens, 
so  it  was  with  the  rooms,  and  nothing  but  Mrs. 
B's.  tact  prevented  an  outburst  over  the  choice. 
But  I  am  galloping  ahead  of  my  story  again.  We 
wrote  glowing  accounts  to  our  friends  about  the 
paradise  whose  gates  were  open  to  receive  them, 
receiving  the  most  satisfactory  answers  in  reply, 


A    FORETASTE.  2$ 

and  solemn  promises  that  June  ist  would  positively 
see  the  entire  party  united  beneath  the  hospitable 
roof  of  Maple  Grove  Castle,  a  name,  by  the  way, 
which  was  accepted  enthusiastically  by  some,  and 
scornfully  rejected  by  others.  The  result — fic- 
titious titles  for  place  and  person  being  freely 
adopted  by  our  friends  —  was  to  drive  the  post- 
master of  the  neighboring  village  almost  frantic,  on 
encountering  such  addresses  as 

"  DUCHESS  OF  MAPLE  GROVE, 

HIGH  LIFE  COTTAGE, 


and  a  limitless  number  of  other  conceits,  until  he 
finally  came  to  the  conclusion  that  all  letters  whose 
directions  seemed  to  indicate  a  mind  diseased, 
must  belong  to  us,  and  delivered  them  accordingly. 

Things  were  going  very  smoothly  and  to  our  per- 
fect satisfaction,  and  we  certainly  realized  enough 
enjoyment  during  that  month  of  seclusion  and 
bright  expectations  more  than  sufficient  to  atone 
for  any  subsequent  shortcomings  in  the  working  of 
our  plan. 

The  Mullaney  family,  including  our  old  standby 
Mary  Cecilia,  and  her  mother  and  sister,  were  in  pos- 
session of  the  kitchen ;  the  rooms  were  ready  even  to 


26  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

lace  curtains,  and  nothing  remained  save  the  arrival 
of  the  dramatis  persona  to  complete  the  picture. 
Meanwhile  we  banished  all  care,  and  gave  ourselves 
up  to  the  enjoyment  of  the  hour,  when  suddenly 
our-  fancied  security  was  interrupted  by  an  unex- 
pected onslaught  from  without,  and  coming 
events  began  vaguely  to  cast  their  shadows  before 
It  is  a  strange  and  melancholy  fact,  that  human 
happiness  is  never  of  long  duration;  that  just  as 
we  are  about  to  grasp  the  luscious  fruit,  either  a 
branch  breaks  or  our  foot  slips,  and  presto!  we  find 
ourselves  lying  bruised  and  battered  on  the 
ground. 

The  advance  guard  of  the  enemy  in  this  instance, 
took  the  shape  of  a  letter  from  Mrs.  Augustus  Syl- 
vester, a  Cincinnati  girl,  and  an  old  school-mate  of 
Mrs.  B's.,  in  which  she  calmly  announced  that  on 
the  Friday  ensuing,  she,  her  husband,  French 
maid,  and  English  poodle,  would  make  a  descent 
upon  us,  with  a  view  of  favoring  us  with  their 
society  until  Monday,  and  seeing  how  we  were  sit- 
uated for  the  summer. 

Externally,  I  kept  up  a  bold  front  when  this  bul- 
letin arrived,  to  persuade  Mrs.  B.,  if  possible,  that 
the  announcement  of  their  coming  was  a  rather 


A    FORETASTE.  2? 

delicious  morsel  to  roll  under  the  tongue  than 
otherwise  ;  internally,  I  felt  something  as  I  fancy 
the  merry-makers  of  Brussels  must  have,  when,  the 
ball  being  at  its  height,  they  were  suddenly  re- 
called to  earth  by  the  cannon  booming  at  Waterloo. 
This  apparently  unreasonable  horror  over  the  mere 
anticipation  of  the  Sylvesters'  visit  is  easily  ac- 
counted for. 

As  school-girls,  Mrs.  B.  and  Vivian  Greenough 
had  been  bosom  friends  and  sworn  allies,  and  when 
we  were  married,  Vivian,  in  pursuance  of  an  old 
compact,  had  come  on  from  Cincinnati  especially  to 
officiate  as  bride' s-maid.  It  was  then  I  had  made 
her  acquaintance  and  been  very  favorably  im- 
pressed with  the  bright-eyed,  golden-haired  confi- 
dante of  Mrs.  B.'s  school-girl  secrets.  She 
remained  with  Polly's  mother  for  a  fortnight,  while 
we  were  away  on  our  tour,  and  during  her  stay 
became  intimately  acquainted  with  a  Mr.  Augustus 
Sylvester,  an  extremely  wealthy  man  who  subse- 
quently followed  her  to  Cincinnati  and  brought  her 
back  with  him  as  his  bride.  At  first,  we  saw  con- 
siderable of  the  young  couple,  but  we  gradually 
allowed  them  to  drop  out  of  our  circle  of  intimate 
friends,  although  pleasant  relations  were  always 


28  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

maintained,  for  we  couldn't,  of  course,  afford  to 
entertain  as  they  could,  and  we  possess  a  certain 
pride  about  us  which  makes  tit  for  tat  a  sine  qua 
lion  of  our  enjoyment  of  friends'  society. 

Since  their  marriage,  the  Sylvesters  had  kept 
house  on  a  scale  of  lavish  expenditure  which  en- 
tirely precluded  the  making  of  any  exertions  on 
their  part  necessary.  They  had  their  double  staff 
of  servants  from  the  butler  down  to  boots  on  the 
male  side,  and  from  the  housekeeper  down  to  the 
scullery-maid  on  the  female,  so  that  they  had  but 
to  ring  a  bell,  when  instantly  a  slave  appeared,  and 
their  wishes  were  executed  as  though  they  were 
the  fortunate  possessors  of  Aladdin's  lamp.  I  am 
inclined  to  believe  that  in  our  day  and  generation  a 
comfortable  balance  at  the  banker's  is  a  very  fair 
substitute  for  the  lamps  and  rings  of  Arabian 
Nights'  lore. 

As  a  consequence  of  this  inaction,  this  domestic 
surveillance  which  rendered  it  almost  an  impossi- 
ble feat  for  Vivian  to  raise  a  finger  in  her  own  ser- 
vice, she  naturally  deteriorated  from  the  bright, 
laughing  girl  she  had  been  in  her  Cincinnati  home, 
and  became  more  like  the  queen  of  a  seraglio. 

She  took  to  affecting  aesthetics  and  French,  and 


A    FORETASTE.  29 

finally,  for  want  of  something  better  to  do,  gave 
herself  over  to  that  never-failing  solace  of  dames 
who  suffer  from  her  complaint,  the  possession  of  a 
poodle  on  which  to  lavish  the  energy  that  can 
find  no  other  vent.  Caprice  was  the  name  of  the 
special  monstrosity  in  the  canine  line  on  which 
Mrs.  Sylvester  lavished  her  attention,  and,  seeing 
them  together,  it  became  a  toss-up  in  one's  mind  as 
to  whether  dog  or  mistress  best  deserved  the 
name. 

I  remember  wondering  once,  when  I  called  upon 
Vivian,  and  found  Caprice,  enveloped  in  flannel, 
lying  in  state  before  a  blazing  grate-fire,  with  a 
veterinary  surgeon  in  close  attendance,  how  many 
human  beings  within  the  city  limits,  not  suffering 
from  slight  colds,  as  in  the  case  of  Caprice,  but  in 
the  last  stages  of  consumption,  would  welcome  that 
comfortable  Turkish  rug  and  life-giving  fire,  as  the 
shipwrecked  sailor  welcomes  the  drop  of  rain-water 
as  it  hisses  down  his  burning  throat. 

Just  at  this  point  in  my  reflections  Vivian 
handed  me  a  dainty  little  piece  of  cambric  and 
asked  if  I  wouldn't  please  blow  poor  Caprice's 
nose. 

I  left  in  disgust. 


3O  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

Is  it  any  wonder  that  the  expected  advent  of 
such  spoiled  children  of  fortune  failed  to  make  us 
caper  with  delight,  especially  when  there  were  only 
five  of  us,  including  ourselves,  to  see  that  their 
needs  were  attended  to  ? 

Friday  came.  Mrs.  B.  and  I  were  outwardly  as 
smiling  as  though  a  lucky  turn  of  Fortune's  wheel 
had  enabled  us  to  put  into  execution  our  pet 
scheme  of  a  year's  travel  in  Europe,  and  inwardly 
praying  for  rain  as  though  we  were  toilers  of  the 
soil  and  saw  all  our  hopes  of  a  good  harvest  de- 
stroyed by  drought. 

How  the  sun  did  shine  that  day ! 

About  four  o'clock  the  avalanche  rolled  in  upon 
us.  The  first  sight  I  saw  was  a  boy  sitting  on  the 
front  seat  of  the  carriage,  holding  Caprice  on  his  lap. 

"  Jupiter !  "  I  exclaimed.  "  Has  she  engaged  a 
valet  for  the  poodle  ? " 

"  So  it  would  appear,"  said  Mrs.  B. 

Subsequently,  however,  we  learned  that  poor  lit- 
tle Caprice  absolutely  refused  to  travel  unless  sup- 
ported by  the  human  lap  device,  so  it  was  deemed 
best  to  have  an  attendant,  who,  in  addition  to  ser- 
vices rendered  Caprice,  could  also  perform  the 
Herculean  feat  of  purchasing  tickets. 


A    FORETASTE.  31 

"Mais  vous  pouvez  retourner  maintenant"  said 
Vivian  on  their  arrival ;  then,  suddenly  remember- 
ing that  the  youth  was  of  Hibernian  extraction,  she 
added  in  English,  "  I  mean  you  can  return  to  the 
house  now." 

Then  she  turned  to  Mrs.  B.  and  deliberately  fired 
her  first  shot. 

"  Polly,  ma  chere,  I  have  decided  to  leave  dear 
little  Caprice  with  you  for  the  summer,  as  I  shall 
toujours  en  voyage.  He  will  be  such  a  comfort  to 
you  and  George  when  you  are  ennuyer" 

I  am  tolerably  strong,  but  I  frankly  aknowledge 
that  when  Vivian  Sylvester  made  that  dire  an 
nouncement,  I  would  have  succumbed  at  the  near 
approach  of  a  feather. 

Meanwhile  there  stood  Vivian,  like  a  lady 
patroness  at  a  charity  dinner,  looking  alternately 
at  Mrs.  H.  and  myself,  and  evidently  waiting  for 
the  forthcoming  outburst  of  gratitude. 

It  never  forth  came. 

Dinner  was  served  at  last,  and  proved  a  master- 
piece of  Mary  Cecilia's  art.  Even  Mrs.  Sylvester, 
fresh  from  such  luxurious  pastures  as  Delmonico's 
and  the  Brunswick,  deigned  to  praise ;  and  Mrs. 
B.  and  I  brightened  up  and  gave  thanks. 


32  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

"  Mercy  !  "  she  exclaimed  suddenly  ;  and  we 
trembled  at  what  the  exclamation  might  herald. 
"  Augustus  will  be  here  shortly  and  want  his  din- 
ner. I  sincerely  trust  you  have  not  been  so 
thoughtless  as  to  cook  the  entire  roast.  Augustus 
never  could  eat  warmed-over  meat." 

At  this  unreasonable  bit  of  selfishness,  Mrs.  B. 
spunked. 

"  I  think,  Vivian,"  she  said,  with  withering  satire, 
"  that  whatever  may  be  the  practice  in  restaurants, 
private  families  do  not,  as  a  rule,  cook  their  meat 
in  chunks." 

This  outburst  of  independence  effectually  sub- 
dued Vivian  for  the  nonce,  and  I  applauded  enthu- 
siastically, but  dumbly,  under  the  table  with  my 
thumb  nails. 

When  Augustus  did  arrive,  he  ate  the  warmed- 
over  meat  with  considerable  gusto,  and  straightway 
betook  himself  to  the  perusal  of  the  evening  paper. 
To  the  best  of  my  belief,  if  he  had  been  put  upon 
the  witness-stand,  he  couldn't  have  told  whether 
he  had  eaten  roast  beef  or  Chinese  birds'  nests. 

The  next  morning  I  sprang  from  the  bed,  under 
the  impression  that  the  house  was  on  fire,  for  the 
smoke  was  pouring  into  the  room  through  the  crev- 


A   FORETASTE.  33 

ices  of  the  door,  until  it  really  threatened  strangu- 
lation. Under  the  circumstances,  I  deemed  it  best 
to  awaken  Mrs.  B.  also.  She  was  sleepy,  and  sug- 
gested that  it  was  Mary  Cecilia  building  the 
kitchen  fire. 

"  But,  my  dear,"  I  replied,  "  with  all  due  regard 
to  Mary  Cecilia's  reverence  for  the  motto  'Early  to 
bed,  and  early  to  rise,'  is  it  likely  she  would  build 
the  fire  at  the  unearthly  hour  of  4.30  A.M.  ? " 

"Goodness!"  exclaimed  Mrs.  B.,  "if  that's  the 
hour,  there  must  be  something  wrong,  and  you  had 
better  investigate." 

I  investigated  with  this  result  : 

Before  the  parlor  grate,  unused  for  several  dec- 
ades, stood  Mrs.  Augustus  Sylvester,  picturesquely 
attired  in  her  petticoat  and  dressing-sack,  her  face 
begrimed  with  soot,  like  a  veritable  Goddess  of  the 
Forge,  in  the  act  of  laying  a  green  stick  on  top  of 
several  others  which  smoked  and  sizzled  dismally 
on  the  andirons,  while  around  her  in  ruthless  dis- 
order, thick  as  leaves  in  Vallambrosa,  or  cannon  at 
Ballaklava,  were  scattered  little  heaps  of  the  same 
green  and  incombustible  material.  Mary  Cecilia  is 
a  paragon  of  excellence  in  the  domestic  line,  but 
after  all,  she  is  human  ;  and  when  I  thought  of  the 


34  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

energetic  sweeping  and  dusting    that  room    had 
undergone  the  previous  day,  I  shuddered. 

Suddenly  the  would-be  incendiary  caught  sight 
of  me,  and  exclaimed  plaintively  : 

"  O  George  !  is  that  you  ?  Just  see  how  ener- 
getic I  can  be  when  I  want  to !  You  see  we  are 
not  used  to  the  country,  and  you  know  how  delicate 
Caprice  is,  so  I  thought  I'd  take  the  chill  off  the 
house.  But  I  wouldn't  give  any  trouble  for  any- 
thing, so  I  made  the  milkman  bring  up  wood  from 
the  cellar,  and  have  been  working  like  a  black- 
smith ever  since  ;  mats  ga  nc  briile  pas. 

As  she  said  this,  the  embryo  conflagration  gave 
one  last  derisive  sputter  and  went  out.  This 
proved  the  death-blow  to  her  ambition,  and  I  had 
little  difficulty  in  persuading  her  to  return  to  her 
room,  leaving  me  to  make  three  trips  to  the  cellar 
to  return  the  wood. 

By  this  time,  the  entire  household  was  aroused, 
sleep  having  been  effectively  put  to  flight,  and  we 
had  the  exceeding  felicity  of  sitting  around  aimlessly 
for  three  mortal  hours,  like  hams  in  a  smoke-house, 
waiting  for  breakfast. 

But  Vivian  Sylvester  wouldn't  give  any  trouble 
-for  anything! 


A    FORETASTE.  35 

Oh  no ! 

Meanwhile  our  hearts  felt  heavy  as  lead  every 
time  our  eyes  rested  on  that  ugly  English  poodle, 
for  Vivian  had  not  failed  to  interlard  her  conversa- 
tion with  minute  instructions  as  to  his  diet,  exer- 
cise, toilet,  etc.,  and  we  felt  that  if  Frederick 
William  had  been  born  twins,  the  care  and  respon- 
sibility would  have  been  light  in  comparison  with 
that  entailed  by  the  keep  of  that  poodle  of 
English  extraction. 

What  with  feeding,  doctoring,  bathing  and  per- 
fuming, it  was  evident  that  one,  at  least,  of  the 
Mullaney  family  would  find  occupation  for  the 
summer. 

But  we  are  very  good-natured  Mrs.  B.  and  I, 
and  we  did  not  like  to  refuse  absolutely,  to  make  a 
home  for  that  little  stranger ;  besides,  we  were 
under  many  obligations  to  the  Sylvesters,  and  it 
would  have  seemed  ungrateful ;  so  we  knew  that 
nothing  short  of  a  miracle  could  save  us.  Realiz- 
ing this,  our  spirits  and  appetites  departed  together, 
and  Mrs.  B.  went  about  humming  in  doleful  strain, 

"  A  charge  to  keep  I  have." 

At  the  eleventh  hour,  however,  the  tide  turned 
in  our  favor,  and  the  British  evacuated. 


36  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

This  is  how  our  salvation  came :  Vivian  chanced 
to  ask  for  lime-water  Sunday  morning,  to  dose 
Caprice's  milk  with,  as  the  dear  little  fellow's  organ- 
ization is  too  delicate  to  withstand  the  full  force  of 
that  bovine  article  in  an  undiluted  condition.  The 
fates  being  propitious,  we  had  none  in  the  house, 
and  there  was  no  way  of  procuring  any  until 
Monday. 

From  the  startled  look  of  mingled  horror  and 
surprise  that  swept  over  Vivian's  countenance  at 
this  stroke  of  misfortune,  I  felt  that  we  were  saved 
from  the  threatened  infliction. 

She  probably  made  up  her  mind  from  that 
moment  that  we  were  not  fit  to  be  trusted  even 
with  the  well-being  of  a  dog.  At  all  events,  she 
began  to  break  to  us  gradually,  our  prospective 
loss,  and  finally  announced  that  as  the  care  of 
Caprice  might  prove  troublesome  to  us,  she  had 
decided,  after  all,  to  leave  him  with  the  groom  for 
the  summer. 

We  protested  weakly — oh!  so  weakly! — that 
trouble  was  no  object,  and  then  indulged  in  a 
dance  of  delight — on  the  sly — in  the  butler's 
pantry,  to  celebrate  the  joyful  occasion. 

The   last   sounds   we   heard   Monday  morning, 


A    FORETASTE.  37 

when  the  Sylvester  menage  drove  off,  were  the 
whimperings  of  Caprice,  and  the  soothing  expres- 
sions of  Vivian  and  the  maid  consoling  and  asking 
him  where  he  suffered,  and  we  felt  more  thankful 
than  ever  that  we  had  not  become  his  sponsors. 

"Mrs.  B.,"  said  I,  rather  gravely,  that  night  as  I 
was  locking  up  the  Castle,  and  unlocking  my  griev- 
ances, "if  this  is  a  foretaste  of  what  we  are  to 
expect  this  summer,  it  would  be  better  for  us  if 
we  had  never  been  born." 

"O  George!"  replied  that  courageous  little 
woman  sagely,  "you  surely  don't  think  the  entire 
population  is  made  up  of  Sylvesters  ! " 


CHAPTER  III. 

"  THE    CAMPBELLS    ARE    COMING." 

THE  remaining  weeks  of  May  passed  serenely, 
though  uneventfully,  at  Maple  Grove,  and 
the  memory  of  the  Sylvester  episode,  mellowed 
by  time,  seemed  like  a  horrible  nightmare,  chased 
away  by  the  return  of  day,  when  the  looked-for 
first  of  June  arrived,  and  we  hoisted  the  flag, 
donned  our  holiday  attire,  and  prepared  to  give 
our  friends  a  rousing  reception  on  their  arrival. 
The  first  to  put  in  an  appearance  were  the 
Thompsons,  full  of  eagerness  and  enthusiasm, 
which  we  reciprocated  to  the  fullest  extent.  If 
it  had  been  the  Fourth  of  July,  and  the  Doctor 
a  ten-year-old  youngster,  with  his  first  pack  of 
fire-crackers,  he  couldn't  have  manifested  a  greater 
amount  of  ecstacy  than  he  displayed  on  that 
occasion ;  he  cheered,  he  sang  snatches  from  the 
comic  operas,  he  shook  hands  with  us  twenty 
times  over,  and  altogether  showed  such  delight 

33 


"  THE    CAMPBELLS    ARE    COMING."  39 

at  being  with  us,  as  was  exceedingly  gratifying 
to  our  vanity.  He  superintended  personally  the 
unloading  of  his  chattels  ;  and  he  took  as  much 
interest  in  their  disposition  as  though  he  had 
pitched  on  a  lodgment  for  life.  Nor  was  Carry 
far  behind  him  in  zeal.  She  rushed  frantically 
into  Mrs.  B.'s  arms,  kissed  her  enthusiastically, 
and  expressed  herself  as  confident  that  not  a 
cloud  would  dim  the  horizon  of  our  friendship ; 
she  rather  gave  the  impression,  in  fact,  that,  to 
the  best  of  her  belief,  we  would  get  along  together 
after  the  harmonious  fashion  of  — 

"  Four  gray  geese  in  a  green  field  grazing," 

and  we  were  deeply  touched  when  she  turned; 
towards  Mrs.  B.  and  said  with  a  pathetic  Jittle. 
tremor  in  her  voice : 

"  Now,  Polly  dear,  if  I  do  anything  you  don't 
like,  and  you  feel  that  you  have  the  slightest 
cause  for  grievance  against  me,  don't  hesitate  to 
come  and  tell  me  about  it,  and.  we  can  talk  the 
matter  over  as  friends  should,  and  come  to  a 
pleasant  understanding." 

Of  course  Mrs.  B.,  who  is  naturally  soft-hearted, 
melted  over  this  pretty  little  effusion,  and  promptly 
begged  Carry  to  come  and  do  likewise,  should 


4O  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

the  cases  be  reversed,  and  she  the  offender.  This 
was  just  as  it  should  be  among  cooperators,  and 
made  a  very  affecting  picture. 

Altogether,  we  formed  a  sort  of  mutual  admi- 
ration society  of  a  very  exalted  character  —  a  new 
Damon  and  Pythias  arrangement  in  four  parts  — 
and  it  seemed  almost  like  a  sacrilege  when  a  new 
arrival  took  place,  and  put  an  end  to  the  touching 
tableau.  This  proved  to  be  the  Irvings,  the  last 
young  married  couple  who  had  been  enrolled 
under  the  banners  of  cooperation.  Though  not 
as  effusive  as  the  Thompsons,  they  too  expressed 
themselves  as  delighted  at  being  with  us,  and 
the  entire  party  was  wreathed  in  smiles  and  sun- 
shine. Surely  no  plan  was  ever  inaugurated  more 
auspiciously,  or  with  greater  promise  of  success, 
than  ours  was  that  day. 

After  passing  the  compliments  of  the  season, 
and  exchanging  congratulations,  a  tour  of  inspec- 
tion was  instituted,  in  which  all  took  part,  except 
Mabel  Irving,  who  was  the  victim  of  a  chronic 
weakness  which  prevented  her  from  joining  in 
any  enterprise  of  a  fatiguing  nature,  though  on 
occasion,  when  something  was  on  the  tapis  in 
which  she  was  particularly  interested,  I  have 


"THE    CAMPBELLS    ARE    COMING."  4! 

known  that  girl  cheerfully  to  undergo  exertions 
and  hardships  that  would  shatter  the  constitu- 
tion of  an  average  horse.  It  reminded  me  of  an 
old  gentleman  of  my  acquaintance,  who  is  remark- 
ably and  conveniently  deaf  to  the  voices  of  duns, 
but  seems  to  catch,  as  by  instinct,  the  lowest 
whisper,  when  it  consists  of  an  invitation  to  "  take 
something." 

Possessed  of  a  pair  of  very  effective  black  eyes, 
and  a  set  of  teeth  so  perfect  in  shape  and  color 
ing  that  they  are  frequently  mistaken  for  an 
artificial  article,  she  is  so  beautiful  as  even  to 
awaken  the  admiration  of  her  own  sex,  let  alone 
that  of  the  sterner  or  softer  —  whichever  way  you 
choose  to  look  at  it  —  and  would  be  simply  perfect, 
or  as  nearly  so  as  is  vouchsafed  to  mortals  here 
below,  had  it  not  been  for  the  languid  give-away 
sort  of  style  she  has  adopted,  with  a  full  faith  in 
the  becomingness  of  the  role. 

How  girls  and  women  can  act  as  though  they 
were  so  delicate  that  they  expected  momentarily 
to  be  whisked  away  by  a  breeze,  and  believe  that 
they  thereby  excite  the  admiration  of  mankind,  is 
more  than  I  can  understand. 

They  would   be   quickly   disenchanted  if  they 


42  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

could  hear  the  strictures  passed  upon  them  in 
their  absence.  I  remember  asking  a  friend  of 
mine  once  how  he  enjoyed  the  society  of  a  certain 
young  lady  of  this  type,  and  he  replied  : 

"  She's  a  lovely  girl,  but  I  never  feel  at  my 
ease  with  her ;  for  she  seems  to  be  so  feeble  that 
I  constantly  catch  myself  longing  to  hold  a  look- 
ing-glass before  her  lips,  to  find  out  if  she  still 
breathes." 

And  yet  that  girl  was-  strong  and  well,  and 
furthermore,  was  deeply  in  love  with  the  one  who 
criticized  her,  and  might  have  won  him  had  it 
not  been  for  her  unfortunate  habit  of  playing 
invalid.  Irving  and  the  Thompsons  were  delighted 
beyond  measure  with  the  place,  and  we,  for  our 
part,  found  it  very  pleasant  to  have  some  one 
with  whom  to  share  our  appreciation  of  and  its 
charms. 

The  pavilion  especially,  struck  the  Doctor  as  a 
bonanza  of  the  first  water,  and  he  fairly  effervesced 
with  rapture,  like  a  bottle  of  soda  water,  as  he 
walked  around  its  spacious  esplanade  and  read  the 
enticing  notices :  "  Roast  clams,  40  cts. ; "  "  Lem- 
onade, 10  cts. ;"  "Clam  chowder,  30 cts. ; "  until  fin- 
ally, unable  to  contain  himself  any  longer,  he  made 


"THE  CAMPBELLS  ARE  COMING.  43 

us  sit  down  and  investigate  the  merits  of  the  roast 
clams  on  the  spot.  It  was  agreed  by  all  hands, 
when  our  inspection  was  concluded,  that  Maple 
Grove  on  the  cooperative  plan  combined  the  ad- 
vantages of  a  lovely  home  with  all  the  privileges  of 
a  first-class  seaside  hotel.  Returning  to  the  Castle, 
we  found  Mabel  tastefully  grouped  on  the  piazza, 
gently  agitating  a  fan  of  the  palm-leaf  description, 
exerting  herself  as  much,  apparently,  as  though  it 
outweighed  the  anchor  of  a  European  steamship, 
and  gazing  pensively  at  the  distant  horizon. 
Grouped  is  the  only  word  I  can  find  to  do  justice 
to  the  artistic  posing  of  dress  and  surroundings : 
from  the  Greasings  in  her  dress  to  the  angle  described 
by  her  slippered  foot  on  the  piazza,  everything  was 
in  perfect  harmony;  nor  did  the  attitude  appear 
to  be  studied ;  for  much  practice  makes  second 
nature. 

"Oh!  you  darling  Polly,  you,"  gushed  Carry 
Thompson  to  Mrs.  B. ;  "I  don't  see  how  we  can 
ever  be  grateful  enough  to  you  for  providing  such 
a  lovely  summer  Eden  for  us,  and  taking  all  the 
care  and  worry  on  your  shoulders." 

"That's  all  right,  dear,"  responded  Mrs.  B.,  who 
was  still  in  the  condition  of  the  young  duck,  with 


44  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

all  her  troubles  yet  to  come ;   "my  shoulders  are 
pretty  broad." 

"  He  jests  at  scars  who  never  felt  a  wound." 

That  evening,  and  many  subsequent  ones,  passed 
delightfully,  in  the  full  enjoyment  of  social  inter- 
course. 

We  played  games,  we  conversed,  we  had  recita- 
tions, songs,  everything,  in  fact,  that  goes  toward 
making  up  a  pleasant  evening  in  polite  society. 

If  we  had  constituted  a  class  for  the  practice  of 
etiquette — an  institution  which,  I  am  credibly  in- 
formed, flourishes  in  many  young  misses'  boarding- 
schools — we  could  not  have  been  more  polite  to 
each  other  than  we  were.  Such  deference  to  the 
wishes  and  opinions  of  others  would  have  delighted 
Lord  Chesterfield  himself  if  he  could  have  witnessed 
it.  Why  is  it,  I  wonder,  that  we  are  so  constituted 
that  we  greet  novelties  with  a  full  meed  of  respect 
and  only  lose  our  deference  when  we  grow  too 
familiar. 

This  is  true  even  of  the  grandest  natural  phe- 
nomenon in  the  world  —  Niagara  Falls.  The  new- 
comer is  fairly  awed  into  silence  when  it  first 
bursts  upon  his  vision,  and  when  he  recovers  voice, 
he  is  rapturous  in  praise  of  its  grandeur  and  mag- 


"THE    CAMPBELLS    ARE    COMING."  45 

nificence ;  a  week  later  he  calls  it  "a  very  pretty 
fall  of  water." 

That  night  after  the  rest  had  retired  —  fondest 
kisses  having  been  exchanged  between  the  ladies, 
and  heartiest  handshakes  between  the  masculines — 
Mrs.  B.  and  I  held  our  regular  owl-meeting,  to 
discuss  the  events  of  the  day  —  a  habit  we  have 
kept  up  ever  since  our  marriage  —  and  congratu- 
lated ourselves  and  each  other  upon  the  success 
of  the  Plan.  Everything  was  certainly  lovely  so 
far,  and  for  once,  the  pleasures  of  anticipation 
seemed  insignificant  in  comparison  with  those  of 
realization. 

It  was  with  conscious  pride  that  Mrs.  B.  turned 
over  on  her  pillow  the  last  thing  that  night  before 
seeking  "  nature's  sweet  restorer,"  and  said : 

"  It  takes  me  to  plan,  old  fellow !  " 

And  I  considered  her  pride  perfectly  justifi- 
able. 

The  Hill  wigs  were  to  arrive  on  the  following 
week.  They  were  going  to  drive  up  from  the  city 
in  their  own  phaeton,  and  had  postponed  their  trip 
so  that  it  would  not  clash  with  Mr.  Hillwig's  busi- 
ness interests.  As  all  the  cooperators  who  had 
so  far  put  in  an  appearance,  would  be  home  on  the 


46  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

day  of  their  arrival,  it  was  decided  to  give  them  a 
reception  worthy  of  the  Castle  and  its  inmates. 

The  whole  thing  was  discussed  and  planned  at 
the  breakfast-table,  and  resulted  in  the  concoction 
of  a  very  deep  plot. 

As  usual,  the  Doctor  was  among  the  most  active 
of  the  conspirators,  and  he  it  was,  I  believe,  who 
suggested  the  grand  coup  de  theatre  we  afterwards 
put  into  effect,  with  what  success  you  will  learn 
later. 

We  knew,  of  course,  they  could  not  arrive  until 
afternoon,  so  we  spent  our  morning  in  the  full 
enjoyment  of  the  dolcc  far  niente,  lounging  around 
and  doing  nothing.  This  was  an  occupation  Mrs. 
Irving  found  extremely  congenial,  and  one  she 
practiced  very  frequently  ordinary  days,  though 
it  never  seemed  to  interfere  with  her  holiday 
enjoyment  of  it. 

She  really  did  look  picturesque  in  the  extreme, 
spread  out  on  the  grass  beneath  the  umbrageous 
shelter  of  an  oak,  with  a  dreamy,  far-away  look  in 
her  eyes,  and  her  dress  of  some  light,  feathery 
material,  falling  in  folds  of  careless  elegance  around 
her. 

She  looked  so  incapable  of  energetic  motion,  so 


"THE  CAMPBELLS  ARE  COMING.  47 

like  a  picture  of  still  life  in  the  gallery,  that,  try  as 
I  would,  the  longing  to  discover  whether  this 
lovely  flesh-tinted  Galatea  could  by  any  accident 
be  stirred  into  action  and  animation,  took  posses- 
sion of  me,  and  an  opportunity  occurring,  I  resolved 
to  put  it  to  the  test. 

A  green  caterpillar  of  unusual  dimensions  had 
just  fallen  from  a  leaf  overhead  on  my  hand,  and 
unobserved  by  any  of  the  party,  I  managed  to  place 
the  many-footed  monster  on  Mabel  Irving's  shoul- 
der. This  accomplished,  I  awaited  developments. 
If  that  caterpillar  had  been  trained  for  the  busi- 
ness, he  could  not  have  answered  the  purpose  I 
had  in  view  better.  He  raised  his  head,  took  a 
calm  survey  of  the  field,  and  then  deliberately 
proceeded  to  crawl  upwards  toward  the  fair  throat 
above  him. 

At  last  he  reached  the  goal  of  his  ambition, 
while  I  watched  and  waited  with  breathless  interest 
for  the  denouement. 

It  came. 

Instinctively,  my  victim  put  up  her  hand  and 
brushed  her  neck.  The  reptile,  dislodged  from  his 
resting-place,  fell  on  her  lap,  in  full  view  of  her  dis- 
tended eyes.  With  a  shriek  out  of  all  proportion 


48  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

to  the  languid  tone  of  her  usual  voice,  she  bounded 
to  her  feet  with  the  agility  of  an  antelope,  or  a 
New  York  fire-brigade  when  the  alarm  sounds,  and 
shook  her  dress  as  energetically  as  Mary  Cecilia 
might  have  done  under  similar  circumstances  ;  nor 
did  she  withdraw  from  the  battle  until  my  faithful 
ally  lay  crushed  beneath  her  slippered  foot. 

Then  she  dropped  gracefully  to  pieces  again ;  but 
my  purpose  was  accomplished,  and  my  experiment 
had  clearly  demonstrated  the  shallow  foundation  of 
Mabel  Irving's  chronic  weakness.  I  thought  it 
was  a  pity  she  couldn't  be  haunted  by  that  cater- 
pillar's ghost. 

After  dinner,  we  put  into  execution  our  plan  for 
the  Hillwigs'  edification. 

The  ladies  arrayed  themselves  like  the  lilies  of  the 
field,  and  we  fellows  wriggled  into  our  regulation 
costumes,  with  bontonnie'res2ci\&  everythingcomplete. 
All  this  magnificence  was  intended  to  convey  to 
the  Hillwigs'  minds  that  it  was  the  regular  thing  at 
the  Castle  to  don  the  correct  attire  in  the  after- 
noons, and  be  altogether  very  "blarsted  English," 
you  know,  whereas,  in  reality,  the  ladies  were  wont 
to  wear  light  summer  dresses,  seeking  comfort 
rather  than  display,  while  we  lounged  around  in 


"THE  CAMPBELLS  ARE  COMING.  49 

blue  flannel  shirts,  and  looked  more  like  yachtsmen 
than  anything  else. 

After  admiring  each  other's  appearance,  and 
exchanging  plenty  of  friendly  shots,  we  assembled 
on  the  porch  and  snickered  over  the  fun  in  pro- 
spective. With  infinite  pains,  I  devoted  an  hour 
to  the  construction  of  a  floral  wreath,  somewhat 
meagre  in  one  part  and  bunchy  in  another,  to 
throw  at  May  Hillwig  on  their  arrival,  and  Carry 
Thompson  gushed  over  it  as  though  it  were  the 
masterpiece  of  a  city  florist. 

Carry  was  given  to  ebullitions  of  this  sort,  and 
like  all  the  rest  of  her  type,  made  too  many  profes- 
sions to  be  really  sincere  in  any  of  them. 

There  being  a  picnic  that  day,  the  road  was  filled 
with  villagers  driving  down  to  the  pavilion,  and  if 
their  curiosity  had  been  aroused  in  regard  to  the 
occupants  of  the  Castle  before,  it  was  certainly 
augmented  when  they  saw  us  in  our  holiday  togs. 

They  craned  their  necks  and  twisted  their 
heads  in  passing  until  it  really  seemed  as  though 
their  curiosity  would  cost  them  the  loss  of  the 
latter  very  necessary  appendage. 

I  suggested  that  perhaps  they  took  us  for  butlers 
and  ladies'-maids,  sent  forward  in  advance  to  pre- 


5O  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

pare  for  the  arrival  of  the  real  lord  and  lady  of  the 
manor  ;  and  the  Doctor  rather  inclined  to  the  belief 
that  they  thought  we  kept  a  ten-cent  museum,  and 
were  ourselves  some  of  the  curiosities  out  for 
advertising  purposes. 

Four  o'clock  came,  and  the  Hillwigs  had  not  yet 
put  in  an  appearance.  As  the  sky  had  been  over- 
cast with  clouds  since  morning,  and  a  drizzling  rain 
now  began  to  fall,  we  concluded  that  the  unpleasant 
outlook  had  deterred  them  from  starting,  and  with 
a  rueful  glance  at  our  wasted  finery,  and  a  sneak- 
ing consciousness  that  our  joke  had  somehow 
played  boomerang,  and,  like  the  chickens,  come 
home  to  roost,  we  deserted  the  porch  and  returned 
to  the  parlor,  for  the  first  time  that  day,  in  a  prop- 
erly subdued  frame  of  mind. 

Alas !  like  the  foolish  virgins,  we  entirely  neg- 
lected to  keep  our  lamps  filled  and  trimmed.  Half 
an  hour  after  we  had  relinquished  all  expectation  of 
seeing  them,  the  Hillwigs  quietly  drove  up  to  the 
door,  and  were  in  our  midst  before  we  even  knew 
of  their  arrival. 

Taken  as  it  were  in  an  ambuscade,  and  unable  to 
gather  our  wits  together,  we  were  ruthlessly  slaugh- 
tered by  the  enemy,  and  all  our  rehearsals  for  a 


* 
"THE    CAMPBELLS    ARE    COMING."  $1 

stunning  reception  came  to  naught  before  the  cur- 
tain was  rung  up  for  a  performance.  Still  a  forlorn 
hope  remained.  Fortunately,  we  had  not  gone 
back  to  the  every-day  attire  of  life,  and  we  could 
hardly  keep  our  faces  straight  as  we  made  an  im- 
promptu grouping,  and  scanned  their  faces  for  the 
blank  look  of  amazement  that  our  gorgeous  feathers 
were  to  produce,  thrown,  as  they  were,  into  a 
stronger  light  by  contrast  with  their  own  travel- 
worn  clothing. 

Alas !  our  birds  were  too  old  and  too  sage,  un- 
fortunately, to  be  caught  by  salting  their  tails. 

Hill  wig  simply  asked  with  his  slight  German 
accent : 

"  Has  zere  been  a  birth  here  ?  " 

It  was,  beyond  all  question,  a  second  Guy  Fawkes' 
day ;  and  our  plot,  like  his,  had  gone  up  in  smoke. 

However,  in  the  delight  of  having  new  arrivals 
to  whom  we  could  open  the  Castle  budget,  we 
speedily  forgot  our  chagrin,  and  that  evening  was 
added  to  the  pleasant  chaplet  of  its  predecessors. 
Hillwig  and  I  had  a  long  talk  together  over  our 
coffee,  and  I  found  that  spite  of  the  coolness  and 
phlegm  with  which  he  received  the  plan  when  first 
proposed,  there  was  no  one  who  gave  it  so  keen 


52  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

and  thoughtful  a  sympathy  as  he  did  —  excepting,  of 
course,  Mrs.  B.  and  myself  —  or  who  realized  as 
clearly  as  he  did  the  responsibility  we  had  taken 
upon  our  shoulders. 

Our  cooperation  club  was  now  complete  with  the 
exception  of  a  young  lady  friend  of  Carry  Thomp- 
son's and  her  sister,  whom  she  had  begged  might 
have  the  still  remaining  room. 

Having  no  one  else  in  view,  we  readily  acceded 
to  her  wishes,  and  it  was  arranged  that  they  should 
come  on  the  first  of  July. 

About  this  time  the  drawbacks  of  cooperation,  so 
far  as  the  heads  of  the  house  were  concerned,  began 
to  lift  their  heads  like  snakes  half-hidden  in  the 
grass. 

For  example,  as  there  was  no  stern  landlady  to 
say  nay  under  the  cooperative  plan,  and  no  personal 
encounters  with  girls  to  dread,  Carry  Thompson 
did  not  hesitate  to  feed  her  infant  on  beef  tea  and 
crackers  in  the  parlor,  leaving  the  cups  and  saucers 
as  ornaments  for  the  centre-table,  and  the  crackers 
carefully  strewn  all  over  the  carpet. 

As  this  occurred  several  times  daily,  and  Mary 
Cecilia  had  other  duties  to  perform  beside  sweeping 
up  crackers,  she  naturally  became  aggrieved  by  the 


"THE  CAMPBELLS  ARE  COMING."  53 

time  the  broom  was  worn  out,  and  asked  Mrs.  B.  if 
she  wouldn't  please  speak  to  Mrs.  Thompson,  and 
ask  her  to  find  another  grazing  place  for  her  baby. 

Mrs.  B.  would  almost  have  relished  a  flying  leap 
from  the  rocks  of  Gibraltar,  better  than  the  duty 
brought  before  her  notice  by  Mary  Cecilia's  com- 
plaint, until  suddenly  remembering  Carry's  touch- 
ing request  on  her  arrival,  she  resolved  to  put 
theory  into  practice ;  she  did  so  in  the  gentlest 
manner  possible,  and  as  a  result,  the  parlor  was  no 
longer  converted  into  a  nursery ;  but  Mrs.  Thomp- 
son's smiles  waxed  dimmer  from  that  hour,  and  the 
era  of  touching  tableaux  became  a  thing  of  the 
dead  past. 

Another  thorn  in  the  side — and  this  was  general 
— was  that  no  one  seemed  to  have  any  regard  what- 
ever for  meal  hours. 

Breakfast,  by  popular  approval,  was  supposed  to 
continue  until  noon,  lunch  until  two,  and  dinner 
until  nine.  Of  course  not  one  of  them  would  ven- 
ture upon  such  a  liberty  as  sauntering  down  to  break- 
fast at  ten  o'clock,  in  their  own  homes,  but  coop- 
eration seemed  different,  somehow ;  in  fact,  Mrs.  B. 
and  I  were  beginning  to  find  out  that  cooperation, 
like  charity,  covers  a  multitude  of  sins. 


54  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

Finally,  after  Mary  Cecilia  got  on  the  rampage, 
and  clearly  demonstrated  that  she  couldn't  wash 
dishes  all  day  and  all  night,  and  attend  to  other 
duties  as  well,  it  became  evident  that  something 
would  have  to  be  done. 

This  time  I  handled  the  unpleasantness.  The 
cooperators  acquiesced  in  the  novel  idea,  that 
meals  could  only  be  obtained  at  certain  hours,  and 
not  at  will,  with  a  sort  of  "I-don't-understand-this- 
kind-of-thing "  air,  for  a  few  days,  and  then  fell 
back  into  former  habits. 

Twice  a  week  this  little  unpleasantness  had  to 
be  treated,  until  finally,  they  all  saw  the  difficulty 
we  were  laboring  under,  and  good-naturedly  gave 
up  the  conflict — with  one  exception,  however. 

Carry  Thompson  still  labored  heavily  under  her 
grievance.  She  had  been  told  that  Baby  Madelaine 
couldn't  sow  crackers  on  the  parlor  carpet,  and  the 
wound  rankled. 

Still,  in  spite  of  little  pin-pricks  of  this  nature,  we 
were  by  no  means  discouraged,  but  made  up  our 
minds  that  as  soon  as  things  had  shaken  down  into 
shape,  everything  would  go  as  smoothly  as  a  "  Mid- 
summer Night's  Dream." 

Cst  le  premier  pas  qui  cante. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

"  HUMPTY    DUMPTY    HAD    A    GREAT   FALL." 

A  GRAND  clam-bake  had  been  decided  upon. 
Every  thing  was  going  as  smoothly  at  the 
Castle,  apparently,  as  though  a  skillful  carpenter 
had  passed  his  plane  over  us,  and  a  spirit  of  more 
than  brotherly  love  filled  the  breasts  of  the  cooper- 
ators,  if  appearances  could  be  trusted. 

In  reality,  a  storm  was  brewing,  and  the  cloud, 
at  first  no  larger  than  a  man's  hand,  was  increasing 
in  size  with  every  day  that  passed,  until  it  was 
very  evident  that  unless  the  wind  veered  around 
into  a  favorable  quarter  right  speedily,  some  one 
was  going  to  get  wet. 

Carry  Thompson  was  as  vindictive  as  a  hill  full 
of  red  ants.  She  was  nursing  her  imaginary  griev- 
ances on  the  very  strongest  kind  of  pap,  and  they 
were  thriving  so  well  on  the  diet,  that,  beyond  all 
question,  they  would  soon  become  too  lusty  to  be 
kept  within  bounds. 

55 


56  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

She  visited  the  sins  of  poor  Mrs.  B.  on  the  entire 
household  impartially,  held  herself  aloof  from  the 
fraternity,  and  on  every  possible  occasion,  aired  the 
fact  that  she  was  awaiting  the  arrival  of  her  friend 
Dolly  Martin,  with  feverish  impatience ;  for  then, 
and  not  until  then,  would  she  have  society  conge- 
nial to  her  tastes  and  worthy  of  her  merits. 

After  this  sort  of  thing  had  gone  on  for  some 
time,  we  finally  came  to  the  conclusion  that  Dolly 
Martin  must  be  a  species  of  ogress,  who,  on  the 
slightest  provocation,  would  square  her  shoulders 
and  come  down  upon  us  like  the  wolf  on  the  fold. 
We  pictured  her  as  a  large,  angular  woman,  who 
wore  glasses  and  meant  business. 

Eventually  she  became  such  a  bugbear  to  us, 
and  our  dread  of  her  advent  grew  so  strong,  that  I 
urged  Mrs.  B.  to  tell  Carry  that  some  other  friends 
of  ours  wanted  to  be  adopted  —  which  was  true  at 
that  time  —  and  that  under  the  circumstances,  we 
didn't  feel  justified  in  holding  the  room  for  the 
Misses  Martin. 

"  For,"  argued  I  sagely,  "if  Carry  alone  and  un- 
supported can  turn  the  house  into  a  sepulchre  of 
gloom  and  unpleasantness,  what  terrific  rumpus 
will  she  not  manage  to  create  when  she  is  backed 


"HUMPTY  DUMPTY  HAD  A  GREAT  FALL."     57 

by  such  a  powerful  ally  for  evil,  as,  according  to 
her  Own  insinuations,  this  Dolly  Martin  must  be  ? 
I  tell  you,  in  a  week,  she'll  have  us  in  such  com- 
plete subjection  that  all  the  inmates  of  the  Castle 
will  be  compelled  to  dine  at  the  second  table, 
except  the  Thompsons  and  herself,  and  for  all  I 
know,  we  will  be  obliged  to  wait  on  them  in  token 
of  our  subjugation." 

The  only  thing  that  prevented  us  from  pursuing 
this  course,  was  the  urging  of  Mabel  Irving,  who 
was  better  acquainted  with  the  Martin  girls  by  far 
than  Carry,  and  who  assured  us  they  were  both 
nice  girls,  and  would  make  desirable  additions  to 
the  family. 

Relying  on  Mabel's  judgment,  we  resolved  to 
abide  events. 

Of  course  that  there  was  trouble  of  some  sort 
between  Mrs.  Thompson  and  ourselves,  was  too 
self-evident  to  escape  notice,  and  created  a  species 
of  embarrassment  very  difficult  to  fight  off. 

The  Doctor,  poor  fellow,  was  in  agony,  and 
didn't  know  which  way  to  turn.  Of  course,  right 
or  wrong,  he  was  compelled  to  support  his  wife's 
side  of  the  controversy,  while  at  the  same  time  he 
had  all  a  man's  horror  of  unpleasantness  and 


58  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

scenes,  and  besides,  was  too  well-pleased  with  his 
surroundings  to  view  the  prospect  of  a  rupture 
with  equanimity.  To  carry  one's  self  successfully 
through  such  a  labyrinth  of  difficulties,  would 
require  the  adaptability  of  the  turtle  to  live  and 
prosper  equally  on  land  and  in  the  water.  As 
luck  would  have  it,  he  was  placed  on  one  side  of 
Mrs.  B.  at  table,  and  his  wife  on  the  other.  This 
arrangement  had  been  made  before  the  deluge  — 
during  the  era  of  touching  tableaux,  when*  we 
looked  upon  the  Thompsons  as  the  incarnation  of 
loveliness  thrice  distilled — and  it  would,  of  course, 
look  too  pronounced  to  make  any  changes  now. 

The  situation  would  have  been  ridiculous  in  the 
extreme,  if  it  had  not  been  that,  unfortunately,  the 
tragic  side  outweighed  the  comic. 

The  wretched  Doctor  would  begin  to  chat  pleas- 
antly with  Mrs.  B.,  until  a  stolen  glance  at  his 
better-half  revealed  to  his  practiced  eye  the 
approaching  squall  whose  dreaded  effects  would 
reach  his  part  of  the  coast  after  bed-time,  and  he 
would  quickly  take  in  all  his  canvas  and  scud 
along  under  bare  poles,  speaking  nautically,  which 
means  that  he  would  proceed  to  withdraw  his  con- 
versation from  Mrs.  B.  and  address  it  all  over  the 


"HUMPTV  DUMPTY  HAD  A  GREAT  FALL.       59 

table  in  a  nervous,  random  fashion,  without  speak- 
ing to  any  one  in  particular,  which  was  distressing 
to  witness. 

Why  is  it  that  women  are  never  satisfied  to  keep 
their  quarrels  to  themselves,  but  must  needs  drag 
all  their  relations  into  them  too  ? 

Such  was  the  armed  neutrality  that  existed  in 
the  household,  when  the  grand  clam-bake  took 
place. 

It  was  held  at  the  pavilion,  very  late  in  the 
evening,  after  the  outside  world  had  departed,  and 
left  us  the  monarchs  of  all  we  surveyed. 

Such  a  jolly,  free-and-easy,  rollicking  good  time 
as  we  enjoyed  the  first  part  of  that  evening,  it 
would  be  hard  to  match.  It  is  only  when  all  the 
participants  are  intimate  friends,  as  we  were,  that 
such  a  festival  is  either  possible  or  allowable.  We 
sang,  we  talked,  we  smoked,  we  drank  cider,  we 
speechified,  we  danced  breakdowns,  in  fact,  we 
left  nothing  undone,  that  we  could  think  of,  to  add 
zest  to  the  occasion,  and  our  thoughts  seemed  to 
be  as  lively  as  crickets  on  a  hearth,  that  memorable 
evening. 

Finally,  exhausted  and  breathless  with  our 
efforts,  but  still  hungry,  we  sat  down  to  a  second 


60  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

edition  of  clams  with  as  keen  a  relish  as  we  had 
felt  for  the  first,  receiving  each  dishful  as  it  ar- 
rived with  ravenous  applause,  and  fairly  burning 
our  fingers  with  the  shells,  in  our  eagerness  to  get 
at  the  delicious  bivalves. 

Having  at  length  satisfied  the  cravings  of  appe- 
tite, and  erected  a  monument  of  clam-shells  in  the 
middle  of  the  table,  in  memoriam,  we  again  found 
our  tongues,  and  a  feast  of  reason  and  a  flow 
of  soul  succeeded  to  the  more  substantial  ban- 
quet. 

The  conversation  was  of  a  desultory  nature,  as 
it  always  is  on  such  an  occasion,  and  among  other 
topics,  a  very  dear  friend  of  ours  who  had  recently 
visited  at  the  Castle,  and  been  greatly  admired  by 
every  one,  came  under  discussion.  The  comments 
passed  upon  her  were  universally  favorable,  until 
suddenly  Carry  Thompson,  who  had  been  remark- 
ably quiet  during  the  evening,  said  in  clear,  ringing 
tones,  distinctly  audible  to  the  entire  company. 

"It's  easy  enough  to  see  that  she  doesn't  come 
by  Jicr  roses  naturally." 

Now  if  there  is  anything  that  transforms  Mrs. 
B.  into  a  hornet's  nest  full  of  stings,  it  is  unde- 
served abuse  of  an  absent  friend ;  and  as  Carry  had 


"HUMPTY  DUMPTY  HAD  A  GREAT  FALL."     61 

sown  the  wind,  so  she  was  destined  to  reap  the 
whirlwind. 

The  color  flashed  into  Mrs.  B.'s  cheeks  in  an 
instant,  and  from  this,  and  certain  other  ominous 
signs,  I  felt  certain  that  the  lightning  was  about  to 
strike ;  and,  to  tell  the  truth,  I  wasn't  a  bit  sorry. 

"  If  you  mean  to  insinuate  by  that  remark  that 
Nellie  Ormsby  owes  her  complexion  to  art,  you  are 
very  much  mistaken,"  she  said,  with  a  calmness 
that  surprised  me. 

"I  don't  mean  to  insinuate  anything,"  retorted 
Carry  sneeringly.  "I  assert  that  she  paints,  and 
that  it's  as  plain  as  the  nose  on  your  face." 

"Then  you  are  making  an  assertion  that  you 
know  to  be  false,  and  which,  believe  me,  does  not 
add  any  luster  to  your  womanhood." 

Carry  Thompson  was  vanquished,  and  had  noth- 
ing more  to  say. 

This  exchange  of  shot  had  lasted  but  a  moment, 
but  its  effect  on  that  party  of  merry-makers  was 
similar  to  that  of  an  old-fashioned  brass  snuffer 
on  a  tallow  candle.  It  effectually  extinguished 
every  particle  of  mirth,  and  we  suddenly  came  to 
the  unanimous  conclusion  that  it  was  time  to 
break  up  and  adjourn  to  the  Castle. 


62  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

How  strangely  a  quarrel,  or  even  a  tiff,  between 
two  people  at  a  gathering,  communicates  its  un- 
pleasantness to  the  rest! 

We  came  down  from  the  Castle  like  children 
released  from  school ;  we  returned  to  it  with  all 
the  solemnity  of  a  funeral  with  a  body  in  the  van. 

Mrs.  B.  and  I  held  a  very  grave  owl-meeting 
that  night.  The  events  of  the  evening  were  of  too 
serious  a  nature  to  be  passed  over  lightly,  and  we 
felt  that  our  argosy  was  too  near  the  rocks  to  be 
saved  by  anything  but  the  most  careful  sailing. 

At  first  there  seemed  but  one  thing  to  do,  and 
that  was,  to  extend  a  polite  but  cordial  invitation 
to  Carry  Thompson  to  remove  herself  and  belong- 
ings from  our  midst. 

This  would  have  accorded  so  well,  however,  with 
the  predictions  of  outside  friends  who  were  for- 
ever croaking  about  the  impossibility  of  friends 
living  together  in  harmony,  that  we  were  loath  to 
take  the  decisive  step ;  besides,  who  could  tell 
whether  our  chaplet  possessed  sufficient  cohesion 
to  be  kept  together  if  some  of  its  links  were 
broken. 

Taking  all  this  into  consideration,  the  Court  de- 
cided to  treat  the  prisoner's  case  as  a  first  offence, 


"HUMPTY  DUMPTY  HAD  A  GREAT  FALL.'      63 

and,  letting  by-gones  be  by-gones,  to  act  as  nearly 
as  possible  as  though  nothing  had  happened. 

This  impossible  feat  we  accordingly  attempted 
the  following  morning,  ably  seconded  by  the  Doc- 
tor, who  speedily  caught  the  drift  of  our  inten- 
tions. 

I  talked  until  my  throat  was  dry,  then  drank  a 
glass  of  water  and  started  off  again,  plunging 
recklessly  into  all  sorts  of  nonsense,  even  going 
so  far — fried  eggs  being  one  of  the  funeral  meats 
that  morning  —  as  to  ask  the  "egg-otists"  present 
to  hold  up  their  hands  ;  but  all  to  no  purpose. 
The  undertaker  was  in  possession,  and  every  coun- 
tenance displayed  the  trappings  of  woe. 

Carry  sat  there  like  a  martyr  of  old,  playing  the 
part  so  nearly  to  the  life  that  one  instinctively 
looked  for  the  halo  which,  according  to  all  prece- 
dent, should  have  encircled  her  head.  There  was 
a  sort  of  saint-of-the-middle-ages  look  on  her  face 
which  said  plainly : 

"  Burn  me  at  the  stake  if  you  will,  but  I  warn 
you  in  advance  that  I  will  die  scattering  blessings 
all  over  you." 

How  cheerfully  I  could  have  piled  the  fagots 
around  her  that  jnormng !  aye,  and  fired  them  too. 


64   '  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

From  that  day  she  commenced  a  systematized 
tyranny  over  unfortunate  Mary  Cecilia  ;  worsted 
in  her  attack  on  the  mistress,  she  opened  opera- 
tions on  the  maid,  until  finally  that  much-abused 
domestic  came  with  tears  in  her  eyes  to  Mrs.  B., 
and  announced  that  she  would  be  compelled  to 
hand  in  her  resignation.  This  was  a  thunderbolt 
with  a  vengeance.  Lose  our  Mary  Cecilia  whom 
we  valued  above  rubies  !  It  was  not  to  be  thought 
of,  let  alone  allowed. 

Judicious  questioning  elicited  all  the  facts ; 
and  driven  to  the  wall,  Mrs.  B.  told  Carry  Thomp- 
son that  she  felt  it  would  be  more  conducive  to  the 
continuance  of  our  friendship  —  such  friendship  — 
for  us  to  part ;  and  requested  her  to  seek  quarters 
elsewhere  for  the  summer. 

The  Thompsons  remained  with  us  for  four  days 
after  "  notice  to  quit  "  had  been  given,  and,  upon 
my  word,  I  don't  think  the  place  of  perpetual  fire- 
works can  be  hotter  than  they  succeeded  in  making 
the  Castle  during  the  short  remainder  of  their  stay. 

Before  leaving,  Carry  got  hold  of  May  Hillwig, 
and  started  off  to  scandalize  Mrs.  B.,  but  soon 
found  out  her  mistake. 

"  Mrs.  Thompson,"  said  May  quietly,  "  I  have 


"  HUMPTY    DUMPTY    HAD    A    GREAT    FALL."       65 

known  Polly  Brooks  longer  that  you  have,  and 
probably  understand  her  better ;  besides,  I  never 
care  to  hear  unpleasant  things  about  my  friends 
behind  their  backs." 

She  also  took  particular  pains  to  inform  Mabel 
Irving  that  she  had  written  full  details  of  the  affair 
to  Dolly  Martin,  and  if  she  was  the  girl  she  took 
her  for,  she  would  never  deign  to  cross  a  threshold 
where  her  friend  had  been  insulted. 

Whereupon  Mabel,  who  is  a  staunch  and  enthu- 
siastic admirer  of  Mrs.  B.'s,  and  who,  as  I  before 
remarked,  is  capable  of  any  amount  of  energy, 
when  she  sees  fit,  vowed  that  the  Martin  girls 
might,  could,  would,  should  and  must  come,  if  only 
to  spite  that  nasty  cat  Carry  Thompson.  After 
considerable  holding  out,  we  gave  in,  though  not 
without  a  great  deal  of  misgiving,  and  consented  to 
let  her  act  as  she  saw  fit.  At  last  the  looked-for, 
longed-for  day  arrived,  and  the  Thompson  menage 
after  a  final  exhibition  of  vindictiveness,  which  took 
the  shape  of  substituting  a  clam-bake  at  the  pavilion 
for  their  luncheon,  without  the  politeness  of  notify- 
ing us  that  they  did  not  intend  returning  to  that 
meal,  took  its  departure  and  passed  out  of  these 
pages  and  out  of  our  lives  forever. 


66  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

Was  cooperation  a  failure  ? 

This  question  began  to  obtrude  itself  upon  us 
with  startling  pertinacy.  Here  we  were  still  in 
June,  and  already  one  friendship  had  been  rele- 
gated to  the  past ;  whereas,  seeing  but  little  of  the 
Thompsons  —  very  little — we  might  have  remained 
on  amicable  terms  with  them  for  years. 

In  addition  to  this,  their  departure  had  added 
considerably  to  our  expenses,  and  unless  we  could 
speedily  find  friends  to  take  their  place — a  hard 
matter  so  late  in  the  season — cooperation,  like  the 
Irishman's  reciprocity,  would  become  very  one- 
sided. 

Hopeful  hearts  and  stout  wills,  however,  are 
qualities  on  the  possession  of  which  we  pride  our- 
selves, and  cheering  and  encouraging  each  other, 
we  went  on  as  gamesomely  as  ever. 

After  the  period  of  mourning  had  expired,  we 
thought  the  infusion  of  a  little  fresh  blood  might 
prove  beneficial,  so  I  asked  my  old  college  chum, 
Wilbur  Curtis,  up  to  spend  a  fortnight  with  us, 
and  about  the  same  time,  May  Hillwig  invited  her 
sister  Viola  Reefer,  up  for  a  similar  period. 

Viola,  or  Vi,  as  she  was  inevitably  called,  was  one 
of  the  sauciest,  juantiest,  wittiest  little  brunettes 


"HUMPTY    DUMPTY    HAD    A    GREAT    FALL."       6/ 

of  seventeen  summers,  it  was  ever  my  good  fortune 
to  meet.  She  was  a  perfect  little  "diable  rose," 
and  as  perfect  a  mistress  of  the  art  of  taquiner 
as  any  French  woman  living.  All  her  features 
were  good,  but  her  eyes  were  simply  matchless  ; 
neither  prose,  verse  nor  canvas  could  begin  to  do 
justice  to  them ;  and  I  caught  myself  wondering 
what  Wilbur,  or  "Burr,"  as  we  always  called  him 
at  college,  in  all  the  dignity  of  his  twenty-five  years 
of  bachelorhood,  a  position  at  the  bar,  and  an  inde- 
pendent income  besides,  would  think  of  them 
when  first  he  encountered  one  of  their  sweet, 
though  mischievous,  upward  glances. 

The  next  day  he  came,  and  it  soon  required  but 
little  discernment  to  read  their  effect  upon  him. 

"  Burr,  old  man,  it's  a  treat  to  see  you  again,"  I 
exclaimed  as  I  ushered  him  into  the  Castle. 

"Well,  Brooksy,  old  boy,  what's  the  good  word, 
and  how  fares  your  grand  combination  show  ? " 

Thereupon,  I  proceeded  to  enlighten  him  as  to 
the  recent  disaster,  and  to  bespeak  his  best  efforts 
towards  retrieving  lost  ground.  He  had  just  time 
to  express  his  dismay  at  the  situation,  to  ask 
whether  he  ought  to  wear  crape  on  his  sleeve,  and 
to  inquire  how  sooji  he  could  take  a  train  for  the 


68  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

city,  when  dinner  was  announced,  and  introduc- 
tions followed.  Burr  turned  out  a  trump  card,  as 
I  knew  he  would,  and  before  the  evening  was  over, 
had  thoroughly  ingratiated  himself  as  a  popular 
favorite.  How  could  it  be  otherwise,  with  his 
handsome,  open  countenance,  close-cropped  curly 
hair,  twinkling  eyes,  and  the  contagious  chuckle  of 
appreciation  with  which  he  welcomed  any  witticism 
from  others? 

Perhaps  I  could  not  illustrate  one  side  of  his 
character  better  than  by  relating  a  freak  of  his 
perpetration  while  at  college. 

It  occurred  at  a  time  when  spiritualism  and  all 
its  cognate  absurdities  were  in  the  ascendant,  and 

the  old  university  town  of  N shared  with 

her  neighbors  in  the  popular  mania.  Consequently, 
when  it  was  placarded  forth  that  on  a  certain  even- 
ing Professor  X  would  demonstrate  the  wonderful 
control  of  mind  over  mind  for  the  reasonable 
stipend  of  fifty  cents  a  head,  reserved  seats  a  quar- 
ter extra,  excitement  ran  riot,  especially  among 
the  fairer  sex — a  very  important  element  of  the 
population — and  Professor  X  was  greeted  with  a 
full  house,  half  the  nabobs  of  the  place  being 
among  the  audience.  Among  the  rest  a  party  of 


'"HUMPTV    DUMPTY    HAD    A    GREAT    FALL."       69 

students,  in  which  Burr  and  I  were  included,  put 
in  an  appearance  at  the  show,  more,  I  fear,  with 
the  idea  of  ogling  the  girls  than  of  being  impressed 
or  edified  by  the  performance. 

When  the  Professor,  a  manifest  fraud,  appeared 
upon  the  platform  and  called  for  volunteers  to 
come  up  and  be  operated  upon,  Tom  Trevors,  who 
was  always  up  to  some  deviltry,  exclaimed  :  "  A 
supper"  for  the  crowd  with  any  fellow,  that  I  go  up 
and  create  more  excitement  than  he  does  !  " 

"  Done ! "  said  Burr  quietly  ;  and  the  two  mounted 
the  platform  together,  while  we  awaited  the  denoue- 
ment of  the  wager  with  breathless  interest. 

How  they  ever  managed  to  keep  their  faces 
straight  on  the  occasion,  is  more  than  I  can  under- 
stand. 

They  were  the  only  volunteers  on  the  platform 
whose  dress  and  countenances  betokened  either 
culture  or  intelligence,  and  as  a  consequence,  they 
immediately  became  a  focus  for  the  eyes  of  the 
entire  audience. 

Burr  was  seated  at  the  end  of  the  platform  on 
the  left-hand  side,  with  Tom  Trevors  next  to  him, 
and  as  the  Professor  commenced  operations  at  the 
other  end,  it  was  some  time  before  the  show 


7O  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

in    which    we   were    specially   interested,    began. 

For  some  reason  or  other,  the  mesmeric  influ- 
ences did  not  appear  to  be  favorable  that  evening, 
for  until  Trevors  and  Burr  were  reached,  the  most 
insinuating  passes  failed  to  produce  anything 
more  extraordinary  in  the  way  of  response,  than 
stupid  stares  and  idiotic  grins ;  and  the  audience 
was  momentarily  growing  more  impatient  and 
disgusted.  Our  conspirators,  however,  gave  full 
satisfaction,  and  restored  the  audience  to  good 
humor.  They  closed  their  eyes,  they  swayed  to  and 
fro  on  their  chairs,  and  acted  generally  after  the 
most  improved  mesmeric  pattern. 

Observing  the  changed  spirit  of  the  house,  the 
trickster  of  the  evening,  although  he  must,  of 
course,  have  scented  the  game,  was  quick  to  take 
advantage  of  the  opportunity  offered,  and  deliver 
a  fitting  exordium. 

This  concluded,  he  led  Trevors  forward  to  the 
front  of  the  platform,  and  proceeded  to  put  him 
through  a  series  of  monkey-shines  by  the  control 
of  mind  over  mind. 

Trevor's  response  to  this  control  must  have  been 
very  gratifying  to  the  Professor,  as  it  certainly  was 
to  the  audience. 


"HUMPTY    DUMPTY    HAD    A    GREAT    FALL.          /I 

He  hopped  like  a  toad,  squealed  like  a  pig,  bel- 
lowed like  a  bull,  played  he  was  a  railroad  train 
one  minute  and  a  balloon  the  next,  and  cut  up 
such  capers  generally  that  the  entire  assemblage 
became  convulsed  with  laughter,  and  I  verily  be- 
lieve that  two-thirds  of  those  present  were  con- 
vinced of  the  power  of  mesmerism. 

Satisfied  at  length  with  the  performance  of  his 
subject,  the  Professor  made  what  he  termed  retro- 
grade passes,  and  Trevors  coming  back  to  con- 
sciousness, returned  to  our  midst  with  a  half-dazed 
expression  of  countenance  in  full  accord  with  the 
role  he  had  been  playing. 

Then  came  Burr's  turn,  and  we  wondered  what 
new  developments  of  mesmeric  art  were  in  store 
for  us. 

The  Professor,  a  thorough  proficient  at  feeling 
the  public  pulse,  in  whatever  else  he  might  be 
lacking,  changed  his  tack  entirely  with  his  new 
subject,  and  conducted  the  proceedings  in  such  a 
solemn  fashion  that  we  began  to  fear  Burr  would 
not  have  a  show  for  his  wager. 

After  several  questions  as  to  religious  views, 
all  of  which  had  been  answered  in  a  perfectly  ortho- 
dox way,  the  Professor  asked  suddenly  : 


72  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

"  Are  you  in  love  ?  " 

"  Deeply,  but  hopelessly,"  responded  Burr  with  a 
heart-rending  sigh. 

"  Is  the  object  of  your  affection  present  ? " 

"  I  cannot  tell  from  here." 

"  Go  down  among  the  audience,  and  if  you  dis- 
cover her,  indicate  the  fact." 

Burr,  obedient  to  the  control  of  mind  over  mind, 
descended  the  steps  of  the  platform,  his  eyes 
apparently  closed,  walked  half  way  down  the  aisle, 
hesitated  a  moment,  and  then  leaning  over  the 
seats,  deliberately  imprinted  a  kiss  upon  the  up- 
turned lips  of  the  Mayor's  daughter — a  deuced 
pretty  girl  with  whom  he  had  not  even  a  bowing 
acquaintance  —  and  while  the  old  gentleman  was 
fumbling  about  for  his  cane,  returned  swiftly,  but 
fully  maintaining  his  part,  to  the  platform,  where 
he  stood  perfectly  unmindful,  to  all  appearances, 
of  the  uproar  he  had  created. 

If  the  hall  had  suddenly  filled  up  with  smoke 
and  flame,  the  excitement  could  hardly  have  been 
greater.  Men  and  women  rose  to  their  feet  thrilled 
at  the  rash  act  to  which  they  had  been  witnesses, 
while  the  gray-haired,  venerable  Mayor  made  his  way 
up  the  aisle,  his  cane  in  his  hand  and  fury  in  his  eye. 


"HUMPTY  DUMPTY  HAD  A  GREAT  FALL.       73 

Fortunately,  however,  the  charlatan  of  the  even- 
ing was  obliged  for  his  own  reputation's  sake,  to 
protect  his  subject  and  to  explain  that  he  was 
entirely  irresponsible  for  his  action.  The  outraged 
father  grunted  incredulously,  but  was  finally  com- 
pelled to  accept  the  explanation  tendered,  and  the 
audience  broke  up  in  a  hubbub. 

No  one  enjoyed  the  supper  that  followed  more 
than  Burr  did,  and  Tom  Trevors  declared  when  he 
paid  for  it  that  he  had  had  his  money's  worth. 

This  incident  only  illustrates  one  side  of  Burr's 
nature;  for  he  joined  to  the  spirit  of  fun  which 
pervaded  him  a  depth  of  truth  and  sincerity  which 
he  who  ran  might  read. 

Such  was  the  fellow  I  had  introduced  as  calcu- 
lated to  dispel  the  gloom  which  followed  the 
Thompson  episode,  and  it  worked  like  a  charm. 

As  the  days  passed,  I  noticed  with  considerable 
amusement  that  Burr  was  constantly  seeking  op- 
portunities to  monopolize  Vi  Reefer's  society,  and 
Mrs.  B.  and  I  began  to  speculate  on  a  possible 
"  Romance  of  the  Castle." 


CHAPTER  V. 

THE  ADVENT  OF  THE  OGRESS. 

OH  dear !  this  heat  makes  me  feel  so  weak 
and  used  up!"  gasped  Mabel  Irving,  fall- 
ing into  one  of  her  impromptu  graceful  heaps  on 
the  lounge  as  she  spoke,  and  looking  as  cool  as 
the  proverbial  cucumber,  presenting,  in  this  respect, 
a  strong  contrast  to  Burr  and  myself,  who,  being 
full-blooded,  were  running  away  in  little  rivulets, 
and  looking,  as  we  felt,  thoroughly  uncomfortable. 

Two  hours  later,  when  the  noonday  sun  was 
blazing  down  as  though  resolved  to  usurp  the 
functions  of  the  kitchen  range,  and  the  air  was  as 
sultry  as  an  oven,  some  friends  of  Mabel's  rowed 
over  from  a  cottage  on  the  other  side  of  the  bay, 
and  invited  her  to  lunch. 

With  a  display  of  energy  and  vivacity  which 
astonished  Burr,  who  had  not  as  yet  read  the  para- 
dox, she  accepted  the  invitation  extended,  ran  — 
yes,  positively  ran  —  up-stairs,  changed  her  dress, 

74 


THE  ADVENT  OF  THE  OGRESS.         7$ 

and  in  fifteen  minutes  was  tripping  lightly  down 
to  the  beach  beneath  the  hot  rays  of  the  sun, 
chattering  and  laughing  as  merrily  as  though  the 
word  languor  had  no  existence  in  her  vocabulary. 

"  By  George !  you  know,"  ejaculated  Burr,  looking 
after  her  as  though  she  were  one  of  the  seven 
wonders,  "  I  thought  her  gentle  spirit  was  slipping 
peacefully  away  into  the  hereafter." 

At  this  moment  Vi  put  in  an  appearance,  and 
flashing  her  gray  eyes  upon  him,  asked  him  if 
his  last  remark  had  reference  to  her ;  "  Because," 
said  she,  "  when  that  time  does  arrive,  you  are  not 
apt  to  meet  me  again,  even  in  the  spirit ;  so  you 
had  better  make  the  most  of  my  society  while  you 
can." 

"  How  much  do  you  charge  an  hour  for  listening 
to  your  nonsense,  my  embryo  angel  ? "  retorted 
Burr,  and  I  left  them  indulging  in  a  shower  of 
badinage,  which  I  fancy,  however,  changed  to  con- 
versation of  a  more  serious  nature  when  they  were 
left  to  themselves,  for  that  couple  were  certainly 
beginning  to  understand  each  other. 

Hillwig  and  Irving  being  in  the  city,  and  Mabel 
visiting,  our  party  was  reduced  to  May  Hillwig, 
her  sister,  Burr,  Mrs.  B.  and  myself,  and  we 


76  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

imamimously  voted  for  a  picnic  in  the  grove  as  a 
substitute  for  the  formal  luncheon  in  the  dining- 
room.  The  thought  was  no  sooner  conceived 
than  we  proceeded  to  put  it  into  execution,  and 
startled  Mary  Cecilia  into  a  belief  that  the  heat 
had  affected  our  brains  by  making  a  sudden  descent 
upon  the  lunch  table,  and  cramming  the  viands 
upon  it  promiscuously  into  a  basket. 

"  An'  are  you  goin'  to  visit  a  hospital,  mum  ? " 
she  asked,  failing  to  perceive  any  other  motive  for 
our  actions. 

Being  reassured  on  this  point,  and  informed  of 
our  intention, __  she  gave  a  sympathetic  grin,  and 
returned  to  her  own  provinces. 

Fortifying  ourselves,  in  addition,  with  ginger-pop 
for  the  ladies  and  ourselves — the  knights  of  the 
expedition  —  we  started  off  in  high  spirits  for  the 
woods. 

Burr  took  the  precaution  of  wearing  a  huge  cab- 
bage leaf  over  the  back  of  his  head,  being  very 
susceptible  to  the  effects  of  the  sun,  which  caused 
Vi  to  exclaim  that  he  was  making  a  complete  Burr- 
lesque  of  himself,  to  which  he  retorted,  that  he 
was  not  anxious  to  be  sunstruck,  for  fear  he  might 
become  F/-olent. 


THE  ADVENT  OF  THE  OGRESS.        // 

It  really  seemed  as  though  the  two  were  forever 
preparing  little  hits  for  each  other,  and  when 
Burr's  peculiar  little  chuckle  attested  to  his  relish 
of  his  repartee  on  this  occasion,  Vi  observed  with- 
eringly : 

"  You  may  think  yourself  very  funny,  but  I 
wouldn't  hiss  like  a  goose  over  my  own  jokes,  if  I 
were  you."  ^ 

Burr  had  no  response  to  make  to  this  person- 
ality, and  Vi  came  out  of  the  wordy  conflict  with 
flying  colors. 

Arrived  at  our  destination,  with  appetites  sharp- 
ened by  our  walk,  we  spread  an  impromptu  table 
under  an  overspreading  tree  and  banqueted  to  our 
hearts'  content. 

"How  glorious  are  the  works  of  nature!"  com- 
menced Burr,  inspired  by  the  scene  and  the 
luncheon. 

"  Especially  when  they're  alive,"  added  Vi,  imi- 
tating his  tone  of  voice  as  she  dropped  a  grass- 
hopper down  his  neck  and  effectually  extinguished 
his  eloquence. 

After  doing  justice  to  the  inner  man  and  return- 
ing the  debris  to  the  basket,  May  and  Mrs.  B. 
settled  themselves  down  comfortably  to  their 


78  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

fancy-work,  and  I  read  to  them  while  the  unmar- 
ried couple  slipped  quietly  away,  under  the  delu- 
sion that  they  were  as  stealthy  as  North  American 
Indians,  or  a  cat  stealing  cream,  and  blissfully 
oblivious  of  the  smile  which  passed  between  the 
two  they  left  behind  them. 

It  was  a  scorching  day — one  of  the  kind  when  a 
comfortable  position  inevitably  leads  to  a  feeling 
of  drowsiness — and  after  reading  for  fifteen  minutes, 
I  couldn't  have  told  whether  I  was  regaling  my 
audience  on  Ltici/le  or  Mother  Goose  Melodies; 
so  I  dropped  my  book,  and  fell  into  a  sort  of 
half  doze,  vaguely  conscious  that  an  ant,  or  some 
other  insect,  was  investigating  the  region  of  my 
nostrils — possibly  with  an  idea  of  occupation  — 
but  too  lazy  to  brush  it  off. 

From  this  beatific  enjoyment,  I  was  suddenly 
aroused  by  hearing  May  Hillwig's  voice  —  appar- 
ently a  thousand  miles  away  —  exclaiming  : 

"Why,  there's  Mrs.  Irving  with  a  gorgeous 
creature  in  blue,  parasol  to  match  !  " 

I  looked  up,  and  there,  sure  enough,  was  Mabel 
Irving,  accompanied  by  May's  "gorgeous  creature 
in  a  blue  dress." 

Mabel  was  craning  her  neck  in  every  direction, 


THE  ADVENT  OF  THE  OGRESS.         79 

and  evidently  searching  for  us.  Half  in  a  spirit  of 
mischief,  and  half  because  we  felt  it  would  be  a 
bore  to  do  the  polite  to  a  stranger  in  such  intensely 
hot  weather,  we  lowered  our  heads  and  played 
h  ide-and-go-seek. 

Our  game  resulted  disastrously,  however,  for 
Mabel  and  her  companion  happened  to  stumble 
upon  us  unawares,  and  when  we  least  expected  it, 
and  from  our  attitudes,  and  the  conscious  blushes 
which  mantled  our  cheeks,  could  easily  conjecture 
the  game  we  had  been  up  to. 

However,  we  speedily  recovered  our  senses,  and 
protested  we  had  been  dozing,  and  hadn't  seen 
them  until  the  identical  moment  when  they 
were  on  the  point  of  falling  over  our  prostrate 
bodies. 

"  Mrs.  Hillwig,  Polly,  George,  permit  me  to 
introduce  my  friend,  Miss  Dolly  Martin." 

Dolly  Martin ! !  The  effect  was  electrical.  It 
was  like  a  trumpet  on  a  war-horse.  Dolly  Martin, 
the  ogress ! 

Instinctively,  we  all  started  up  simultaneously, 
and  fastened  our  eyes,  filled  with  mingled  interest, 
curiosity  and  dread,  on  the  girl  who  was  to  have 
been  Carry  Thompson's  "  congenial  society,"  until 


8o  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

the  stranger  reddened  beneath  the  intentness  of 
our  gaze. 

Our  first  feeling  was  one  of  the  most  intense 
disappointment ;  our  second  a  sense  of  genuine 
relief. 

Could  this  plump,  rosy-complexioned,  blue-eyed, 
good-natured-looking  little  blonde  be  Carry  Thomp- 
son's Dolly  Martin  ? 

It  was  enough  to  make  one  lose  faith  in  one's 
imagination  forever. 

Where  were  the  length,  the  breadth,  the  angles, 
the  business  air,  and,  above  and  beyond  all  the  rest, 
where  were  the  glasses  ? 

"  The  sun  at  noon  looked  down  and  saw  not  one." 

Beyond  all  peradventure,  if  this  was  Dolly  Mar- 
tin, and  our  eyes  were  not  under  some  magical 
glamour  which  would  presently  be  removed  and 
reveal  the  hideous  reality,  we  had  been  entertain- 
ing delusions  unawares. 

The  rules  of  good  society  finally  came  to  the 
rescue,  and  we  gave  Dolly  Martin,  who  must  have 
thought  us,  like  Robinson  Crusoe,  unused  to  the 
sight  of  our  own  species,  a  heartier  welcome  by  a 
good  deal  than  we  ever  expected  she  would  receive  at 
our  hands,  and,  after  the  way  of  the  world,  assured 


THE  ADVENT  OF  THE  OGRESS.        8 1 

her  we  had  heard  so  much  about  her  that  we  had 
longed  to  know  her. 

It  is  well  for  us  that  the  sin  of  lying  is  no  longer 
visited  with  the  punishment  it  was  in  the  days  of 
Ananias  and  his  wife ;  for  if  it  were,  modern 
society  would  not  have  enough  members  living  to 
bury  its  dead. 

It  seemed  that  Mabel  had  ridden  home  from  her 
friends',  and,  by  a  curious  coincidence,  had  met  Miss 
Martin,  who  was  on  her  way  to  procure  board  for 
herself  and  sister  at  a  neighboring  hotel,  entertain- 
ing the  same  ideas  in  regard  to  us  that  we  had  of 
her.  Mabel,  however,  persuaded  her  to  meet  us, 
at  least,  before  she  made  up  her  mind  to  take  up 
quarters  elsewhere,  and  assured  her  we  were  not 
quite  so  black  as  we  were  painted. 

Certainly  our  first  reception  of  her  had  not  been 
of  a  reassuring  character.  First,  we  had  gone  into 
hiding,  and  then  inspected  her  as  closely  as  though 
she  were  Barnum's  latest  curiosity,  and  we  had 
been  granted  a  first  view. 

She  afterwards  told  me  that,  from^our  prolonged 
stare,  an  uneasy  idea  came  into  her  head  that  there 
must  be  a  big  smudge  of  dirt  across  her  nose. 

I  now  leaped  to.  my  feet  and  invited  the  entire 


82  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

party  down  to  the  pavilion  for  refreshments.  May 
and  Mrs.  B.  not  being  robed  for  the  public  gaze, 
however,  excused  themselves  ;  and  Vi  and  Burr 
not  responding  to  our  shouts,  the  stranger,  Mabel 
and  myself  were  the  only  ones  to  embark  in  the 
enterprise. 

Mabel's  weakness  had  entirely  vanished.  Her 
cheeks  were  flushed  with  triumph,  and  she  looked 
capable  of  working  a  tread-mill  if  necessary  ;  in 
fact,  I  will  say  of  Mabel  right  here  that  she  was 
never  lacking,  either  in  willingness  or  animation, 
when  a  friendly  act  was  to  be  performed. 

Dolly  Martin  was  a  girl  with  whom  one  could 
not  fail  to  become  speedily  acquainted ;  and  before 
we  had  completed  our  tour  of  sight-seeing,  I  found 
myself  calling  her  "Dolly,"  and  chatting  with  her 
as  familiarly  as  though  we  had  gone  to  school 
together.  Fancy  calling  the  "  ogress  "  Dolly  on 
first  acquaintance! 

This  undeserved  title,  by  the  way,  was  dropped, 
never  to  be  resurrected  save  in  jest,  after  that  first 
day. 

By  a  species  of  freemasonry,  I  recognized  in  hers 
a  spirit  kindred  to  our  plan,  and  was  anxious  to 
have  her  join  us,  which  she  did,  her  sister  and  her- 


THE  ADVENT  OF  THE  OGRESS.         83 

self  becoming  cooperators  on  the  succeeding  Satur- 
day, and  proving  very  desirable  additions  to  our 
camp. 

When  the  two  weeks'  visit  of  Burr  was  drawing 
to  a  close,  he  took  me  aside  one  day  and  said  : 

"  Brooksy,  old  chap,  my  visit  is  almost  over." 

"  Well,  all  you  have  to  do  is  to  lengthen  it,"  I 
replied  cordially. 

"  To  tell  the  truth,"  said  he,  "  the  place  suits  me 
so  well,  and  I'm  so  fond  of  your  society" —  '  or  Vi 
Reefer's,'  I  interlarded — "that,  if  you  have  no  objec- 
tion, I  should  like  to  enlist  as  a  regular  cooperator 
and  spend  the  summer  with  you." 

"  I  wouldn't  ask  for  a  better  one,"  I  replied 
heartily ;  and  so  another  and  very  desirable  addi- 
tion was  made  to  the  regular  army. 

One  magnificent  moonlight  night —  the  kind  they 
manufacture  especially  for  lovers  and  sportsmen  — 
Burr  and  Vi  started  off  for  a  moonlight  ramble  on 
the  beach,  and,  apparently,  found  each  other's 
society  very  engrossing,  or  the  moonlight  very 
attractive,  for  they  failed  to  put  in  an  appearance 
at  the  house  until  eleven  o'clock.  It  happened 
that  every  one  felt  sleepy  that  night  and  retired 
early,  so  I  was  compelled  to  keep  a  solitary  vigil, 


84  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

and  wait  till  Burr's  watch,  or — as  I  finally  began 
to  fear — the  sunrise,  should  warn  the  missing 
couple  that  it  was  time  to  return,  and  give  me  a 
chance  to  close  the  house  up. 

If  there  is  anything  that  makes  a  man  feel 
lonely,  it  is  sitting  up  alone  in  a  house  full  of 
sleepers,  hearing  their  occasional  snores  and 
devoutly  wishing  he  could  play  an  accompaniment. 

For  a  while,  I  solaced  myself  with  a  novel,  but 
this  finally  palled  upon  me,  and  then  I  tried  soli- 
taire ;  the  obstinate  cards  persisted  in  coming  out 
wrong,  and  I  gave  up  trying  to  make  them  come 
out  right,  in  disgust. 

By  this  time  I  was  in  a  slightly  irritable  mood, 
and  when  the  delinquents  finally  deigned  to  return, 
I  greeted  them  with : 

"  What  in  the  name  of  common  sense  did  you 
find  to  do  all  this  time ;  were  you  trying  to  catch 
moon-beams  ?  "  Whereupon  their  countenances 
assumed  a  decidedly  sheepish  expression,  and,  like  a 
Sunday-school  class  reciting  the  catechism,  they 
replied  in  chorus : 

"  We  —  were — watching  —  the — tide  —  come  — 
in." 

"  Then  you  have  performed  a  phenomenal  feat, 


THE  ADVENT  OF  THE  OGRESS.         85 

and  one  which  will,  I  know,  astonish  our  friends," 
I  replied  dryly;  "for  the  tide  has  been  running 
out  for  the  last  five  hours." 

The  absurdity  of  their  excuse,  taken  in  connec- 
tion with  actual  existing  facts,  was  too  much  for 
the  gravity  of  all  three,  and  we  roared  with 
laughter  until  an  uneasy  snore  from  above  warned 
us  that  the  joke  was  liable,  if  too  loudly  enjoyed, 
to  meet  with  an  entirely  different  sort  of  appre- 
ciation. 

Vi  escaped  blushingly  to  her  room  under  cover  of 
our  laughter,  though  I  managed  to  express  a  hope 
that  her  happiness  would  never  be  at  as  low  an 
ebb  as  the  tide  was  then,  and  Burr  urged  me  not 
to  betray  the  mistake  they  had  made,  and  render 
Vi  and  himself  a  butt  for  the  laughter  of  the 
household.  There  was  considerable  reason  in  this 
petition,  for  the  cooperators  were  keen  after  jokes 
of  every  description,  and  if  they  got  hold  of  any- 
thing against  you,  put  you  through  a  severe  inquisi- 
tion before  they  dropped  it.  I  wouldn't  promise 
secrecy  in  this  case,  but  finally  agreed  to  confide 
it  only  to  Mrs.  B.  I  can  swear  that  I  kept  my 
word,  and  yet,  somehow,  the  cat  must  have  escaped 
from  the  bag,  for  if  you  asked  any  inmate  of  the 


86  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

Castle  for  a  week  after  that  evening,  what  he  or 
she  proposed  doing,  the  inevitable  answer  was  : 

"  Going  to  watch  the  tide  come  in." 

One  of  the  disastrous  results  of  that  evening 
was,  that  May  Hill  wig  decided  it  was  best  for 
naughty  Vi  to  retire  when  she  did;  and  as  she 
believed  in  fortifying  herself  for  the  winter  by 
retiring  early  in  summer,  this  arrangement  was  by 
no  means  satisfactory  either  to  Vi  or  Burr. 

I  watched  the  latter  curiously,  for  I  knew  him 
to  be  fertile  in  resorts,  tenacious  of  having  his  own 
way,  and  felt  convinced  that  Mrs.  Hillwig  would 
be  outwitted  before  she  got  through. 

And  sure  enough  she  was. 

Mary  Cecilia  came  down  one  morning  with  the 
breathless  intelligence  that  men  had  been  sleep- 
ing in  one  of  the  hammocks,  and  that  one  of  them, 
whom  she  graphically  described  as  a  "  vilyun  in  a 
battered  hat,"  had  tried  the  windows  and  doors 
after  every  one  had  retired,  and  nothing  but  fear 
of  "being  murthered  intirely,"  had  prevented  her 
from  giving  an  alarm 

The  result  of  this  announcement  was  considera- 
ble bravado  while  daylight  lasted,  and  a  pitiable 
weakening  among  the  ladies  when  the  night  fell. 


THE  ADVENT  OF  THE  OGRESS.         8/ 

"  By  sitting  up  late,  and  talking  around  the 
grounds,"  said  Burr,  "they  will  be  persuaded  there 
are  too  many  of  us,  and  that  we  are  too  watchful 
to  make  burglary  a  safe  enterprise,  and  they  will 
seek  a  better  operating  ground."  This  was 
enough  to  afford  me  the  clue,  and  I  knew  in  an 
instant,  who  was  the  thief. 

Burr's  remark  did  not  fall  on  sterile  ground,  and 
late  hours  became  the  rule  with  the  household, 
Mrs.  Hillwig  included,  which  gave  the  young 
couple  an  opportunity  for  resuming  their  evening 
rambles  they  were  by  no  means  slow  to  seize 
upon. 

It  is  needless  to  say  that  Burr  had  planned  and 
executed  the  entire  attempt  at  burglary  himself. 
Donning  an  old  suit,  inside  out,  and  a  battered  hat, 
he  had  held  an  imaginary  conversation  with  imag- 
inary pals  in  the  hammock,  tried  the  doors  and 
windows  under  Mary  Cecilia's  eyes,  fully  conscious 
she  was  watching  him,  and  then,  entering  the 
house  through  a  window  beyond  the  range  of  her 
vision,  had  reached  his  chamber  unsuspected.  His 
judiciously-timed  remark  about  the  advisability  of 
sitting  up  late,  completed  the  plot  and  fully  accom- 
plished the  objett  he  had  in  view.  I  suppose  such 


88  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

an  attack  on  the  peace  of  mind  of  the  household 
should  have  been  betrayed  at  once,  but  I  hadn't 
the  heart  to  do  it,  though  I  made  the  perpetrator 
stipulate,  as  a  condition  of  my  silence,  that  he 
would  not  be  guilty  of  any  more  such  antics  with- 
out first  submitting  them  to  me  for  approval. 

It  was  very  evident  that  Burr  and  Vi  were 
rapidly  drifting  into  the  harbor  of  love,  and  I 
watched  their  case  with  great  interest,  and  won- 
dered whether  they  would  land  their  bark  without 
the  excitement  of  a  single  storm.  I  almost  hoped 
not,  for  I  felt  that  such  a  tame  courtship  would 
not  be  a  pleasant  thing  to  look  back  upon. 

One  of  the  land-marks  of  my  own  engagement 
that  stands  out  prominently  to  this  day,  is  the 
time  when  Mrs.  B.  —  Polly  Drexel  then — and  I  made 
up  our  minds  that  nothing  short  of  an  elopement 
would  ever  see  us  united,  and  I  even  went  so  far 
as  to  interview  a  minister,  when  the  storm  blew 
over  and  the  plan  was  relinquished. 

I  need  not  have  feared  in  the  case  of  the  young 
couple  under  discussion,  for  there  were  plenty  of 
breakers  in  store  for  them,  as  the  sequel  will  show, 
and  the  course  of  true  love  was  about  to  run  rough. 
Mrs.  B,  and  I  knew  by  this  time  that  the  cooper- 


THE  ADVENT  OF  THE  OGRESS.         89 

ative  plan,  so  far  as  reducing  expenses  was  con- 
cerned, was  a  failure,  and  with  our  own  peculiar 
adaptability,  had  reconciled  ourselves  to  the  inevi- 
table. Perfect  harmony  prevailed  among  our 
friends,  and  no  one  spared  an  effort  to  make  our 
burden  light ;  the  Hillwigs  were  especially  kind 
and  sympathetic,  and  did  much  towards  keeping 
up  our  spirits. 


CHAPTER  VI. 
"THERE'S  A  LETTER  IN  THE  CANDLE." 

BURR  came  up  from  the  pavilion  one  after- 
noon with  such  a  broad  smile  illuminating 
his  countenance,  that  I  scented  mischief  from 
afar,  and  hailed  him  for  an  explanation. 

"  Brooksy,  it's  the  hugest  thing  on  record; "  and 
that  inevitable  chuckle  of  his  bore  such  ample 
witness  to  his  enjoyment  of  the  "  hugest  thing," 
that  I  begged  him  to  cease  laughing  and  plunge 
at  once  in  medias  res,  as  Caesar  forever  observes 
in  his  Commentaries. 

Even  the  Latin  failed  to  sober  him,  though  I  can 
bear  witness  that  it  had  sobered  both  of  us  often 
enough  in  the  old  college  days,  when,  after  spend- 
ing the  night  in  carousal,  as  is  too  frequently  the 
case  in  our  colleges,  we  awoke  with  swelled  heads 
and  just  found  time  to  run  over  the  day's  exercise 
with  a  pony  during  "  chapel,"  before  we  were  sub- 
jected to  the  keen  intellect  of  old  Professor  John- 
go 


"  THERE  S    A    LETTER    IX    THE    CANDLE.  9! 

son,  who  seemed  to  scent  a  pony  as  quickly  and 
unerringly  as  a  rat  does  toasted  cheese. 

His  hilarity  subsiding  at  last,  however,  from  pure 
lack  of  fuel  to  maintain  it,  Burr  consented  to  sat- 
isfy my  curiosity. 

"  You  see,"  he  began,  "  I  was  sitting  at  a  table 
down  at  the  pavilion,  imbibing  a  glass  of  cooling 
soda  and  lazily  contemplating  a  bath  in  the  briny, 
when  an  old-time  country  farmer  who  was  seated 
at  the  next  table  to  me  with  his  daughter  — a  rather 
tidy-looking  girl,  though  lacking  chic  —  turned  on 
me  so  suddenly  that  for  one  moment  I  dreaded  a 
scene ;  for,  out  of  pure  idleness,  I  had  been  ogling 
the  girl  a  trifle,  and  I  thought,  you  know,  it  was  a 
case  of  irate  parent  and  all  that  sort  of  thing. 
But  no ;  his  intent  was  peaceful,  and  he  addressed 
me  after  this  fashion  : 

" '  Stranger,  will  you  take  keer  of  my  darter  while 
I  go  deown  to  the  shed  and  see  my  hoss  is  fod- 
dered ?  My  name's  Morrison,  and  hern's  Miss 
Morrison,  and  I  guess  it  ain't  safe  to  leave  her 
unpretected  when  thar's  so  many  infernal  fules 
areound.' 

"  This  remarkable  address  nearly  capsized  my 
gravity,  but  wHen  I  looked  in  the  clear  honest 


92  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

face  of  the  speaker,  and  thought  of  the  confidence 
he  reposed  in  me,  I  give  you  my  word,  old  man, 
every  particle  of  laugh  went  out,  and  I  took  the 
place  he  vacated  with  all  the  gravity  of  a  judge 
on  the  bench. 

"Picture  to  yourself  the  situation  :  your  venerable 
friend  Wilbur  Curtis  constituted  guardian  pro  tern. 
of  an  interesting  blue-eyed  country-girl  scarcely 
out  of  her  teens,  and  bound  in  honor  not  only  to 
protect  her  against  others,  but  even  to  forego  the 
ecstatic  pleasure  of  a  mild  flirtation  with  her  him- 
self. To  add  to  the  embarrassing  features  of  the 
situation,  the  haughty  Mrs.  Chevalier  Clayton 
happened,  by  some  devilish  freak  of  fate,  to  be  at 
the  pavilion.  In  passing,  she  must  have  noticed 
the  incongruity  between  myself  and  companion, 
for  she  sailed  by  without  recognition  and  with  the 
freezing  hauteur  of  a  Clara  Vere  de  Vere  on  stilts. 
Of  course  she  will  report  all  over  the  city  that  I 
keep  company  with  questionable  females,  and  I 
shall  be  tabooed  by  all  dowagers  with  marriageable 
daughters  in  the  market — though  perhaps  that's  a 
saving  grace.  Would  you  believe  it,  old  boy  ?  that 
ward  of  mine,  whom,  in  the  absence  of  her  rightful 
guardian,  I  was  obliged  to  hold  as  holy  as  though 


"  THERE  S    A    LETTER    IN    THE    CANDLE.  93 

'  sheltered  by  the  wings  of  sacred  Rome/  made 
eyes  to  hook  me  !  " 

"  In  the  name  of  all  that's  perishable,"  I  cried, 
looking  around  for  a  missile,  "  drop  your  execrable 
punning !  " 

"All  right,  my  cherub;  don't  shoot,"  said  Burr, 
and  went  on  with  his  narrative. 

"Well,  it  came  out  that  my  protegee  was  a 
school-marm,  and  if  her  pupils  aren't  well  up  in 
the  art  of  love,  why,  she  must  keep  one  style  for 
pleasure  and  another  for  business ;  that  is  all  I  can 
say.  She  worked  so  desperately  for  a  flirtation, 
that,  by  Jove  !  when  the  old  gentleman  returned  and 
straightway  fell  sound  asleep  in  his  chair,  thus  reliev- 
ing me  of  my  guardianship  and  practically  of  his 
existence  at  one  and  the  same  time,  I  fear  I  went 
a  little  way  towards  gratifying  her.  At  all  events, 
when  we  parted  she  squeezed  my  hand  softly,  and 
looking  up  at  me  sentimentally,  said  we  should 
meet  again ;  that  the  stars  had  said  it  —  by  tele- 
phone, probably  —  and  that  her  prophetic  soul 
endorsed  those  shining  sibyls.  This  brought  me  to 
my  senses  like  a  shower-bath  of  ice-water ;  how- 
ever, I  swore  I  was  an  Englishman  on  a  visit  to 
America,  hired  a  boat  and  returned  home  via  the 


94  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

river,  so  I  don't  think  there's  much  danger  of  — 
by  the  gods  that  rule  Olympus ! "  he  shouted  so 
suddenly  that  my  chair  nearly  capsized  and  sent 
me  sprawling  on  the  piazza,  "  there  she  is  now !  " 
and  he  dived  precipitately  into  the  parlor. 

Looking  down  the  road,  I  saw  a  buggy  drawn  by 
a  sedate  and  time-worn  horse  coming  up  from  the 
pavilion,  and  there,  sure  enough,  were  the  old  man 
and  daughter  of  Burr's  narrative.  The  latter  was 
very  pretty,  and  I  thought  his  description  had 
scarcely  done  her  justice.  Whether  they  had 
witnessed  Burr's  rapid  exodus,  and  recognized 
their  companion  of  the  afternoon,  it  was  impossible 
to  say. 

But  the  old  gentleman  drew  rein  and  called 
out: 

"  Dew  you  keep  boarders,  Cap'n  ?  " 

On  my  assuring  him  to  the  contrary,  he  chir- 
ruped his  nag,  and  he  and  his  charming  "  darter  " 
vanished  from  the  scene 

Burr  made  me  swear  by  all  things  on  the  earth 
and  under  the  earth,  that  I  would  hold  his  confi- 
dence sacred,  and  on  my  advising  him  to  tell  Vi, 
ejaculated : 

"Why  in  thunder  should    I    tell   her?"  but    I 


"THERE'S  A  LETTER  ix  THE  CANDLE."       95 

noticed  that  the  "her"  came  out  as  tenderly  as  a 
mother's  kiss. 

Of  course  there  was  nothing  more  to  say  after 
that,  and  I  promised  to  respect  his  wishes,  but  I 
felt  instinctively  that  trouble  would  follow  in  the 
train  of  that  afternoon's  indiscretion. 

For  a  week,  Burr  was  like  one  haunted  by  a 
ghost,  and  I  laughed  in  my  sleeve  at  the  ingenuity 
with  which  he  dodged  all  efforts  to  get  him  down 
to  the  pavilion  ;  but  at  the  end  of  that  time  he 
seemed  to  feel  completely  reassured,  and  went 
around  as  of  old. 

The  tender  understanding  between  Vi  and  him- 
self seemed  constantly  on  the  increase.  They  had 
no  eyes  for  any  one  else,  and,  altogether,  had 
reached  that  selfish  stage  of  love  when  the  world 
holds  but  two. 

In  the  middle  of  July  we  were  obliged  to  say 
farewell  to  the  Hillwigs ;  and  though  we  had 
known  from  the  first  that  they  were  going  at  that 
time,  their  departure  exercised  none  the  less  a 
saddening  effect  upon  the  remaining  cooperators. 
It  was  like  sitting  down  to  dinner  and  finding  that 
one's  pet  tooth  had  dropped  out. 

They  felt  as  badly  at  going  as  we  did  at  losing 


96  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

them  ;  but  May  Hillwig's  health  required  at  least  a 
month  of  mountain  air  every  summer;  and  with 
many  final  farewells  and  a  promise  to  return  in  the 
fall,  they  drove  slowly  and  sadly  away,  while  the 
flag  was  lowered  to  half-mast  for  the  day,  which 
created  considerable  excitement,  and  caused  the 
pavilion  to  follow  suit,  under  the  impression  that 
some  one  of  note  had  passed  away. 

Vi  and  Mrs.  B.  had  become  bosom  friends  long 
before  this,  and  while  the  Hill  wigs'  departure  was 
still  a  thing  of  the  future,  Vi  had  written  to  her 
mother  and  obtained  permission  to  become  a  coop- 
erator,  provided  Mrs.  B.  would  act  as  chaperone. 
This  she  gladly  promised ;  and  Vi  became  a  duly 
admitted  member  of  the  society,  with  the  plaintive 
question  : 

"  You  won't  be  very,  very  awfully  severe  with 
your  little  Vi,  will  you,  Polly  ?  " 

We  couldn't  refrain  from  laughing  as  we  com- 
pared Burr's  case  with  Vi's,  and  traced  the  similar- 
ity between  them  ;  both  wanted  to  stay  because 
they  found  our  society  so  intoxicatingly  sweet. 

The  time  hung  heavy  on  our  hands  for  some 
time  after  the  lopping  off  of  the  Hillwig  branch  of 
the  tree,  and  the  days  passed  so  quietly  that  we 


"THERE'S  A  LETTER  IN  THE  CANDLE."      97 

began  to  long  for  some  excitement  to  break  the 
monotony,  when  all  at  once  it  came,  and  didn't 
prove  very  enjoyable — for  some  of  the  party,  at 
least. 

"  Letters  !  letters  !  "  cried  Vi  one  morning,  in 
would-be  imitation  of  the  regular  official's  growl, 
making  a  charming  postmistress,  with  her  dancing 
eyes  and  rosy  cheeks  flushed  with  her  run  to  the 
gate  and  back. 

"  One  for  you,  Polly,  one  for  Dolly  Martin, 
directed,  I  blush  to  say,  in  a  man's  handwriting, 
and  three  for  Wilbur  Curtis,  Esq.  One  of  the 
latter  is  directed  to  '  Mr.  Curtis,  OF  Maple  Grove,' 
and  I  should  advise  you,  Burr,  to  request  your  cor- 
respondent when  she  writes  again  to  give  you  the 
title  which  runs  with  the  estate." 

"  That's  remarkable,"  said  Burr  carelessly.  "  I'd 
advise  you  to  read  it,  Vi,  and  see  if  the  kernel  is 
equal  to  the  shell." 

"  Do  you  mean  it  ?  "  she  answered. 

"  I  would  say  so  if  I  didn't,"  he  rejoined  with  a 
tender  glance  in  her  direction,  and  I  could  see  that 
the  enamored  youth  was  looking  forward  to  the 
time  when  all  their,  letters  would  become  common 
property,  and  everything  be  delightfully  intermin- 


98  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

gled.     This  was  very  pretty,  of  course  ;  but  there 
is  such  a  thing  as  being  premature,  and  when  he 
so  lightly  advised  Viola  Reefer  to  read  that  letter, , 
he  was  simply  rushing,  head-on,  to  his  doom. 

She  read  it  very  quietly,  and  the  rest  were  too 
much  occupied  in  their  own  correspondence  to  pay 
attention ;  but  I  happened  to  be  looking  at  her, 
and  I  saw  the  rosy  flush  die  slowly  out  of  her 
cheeks,  and  the  merry  light  leave  her  eyes  until  it 
seemed  as  though  the  soul  of  mirth  which  was  wont 
to  illumine  them  had  faded  out  forever. 

"  Your  correspondent  has  a  rare  talent  for  letter- 
writing,  Mr.  Curtis ;  shall  I  read  her  epistle 
aloud?" 

"  If  you  wish,"  said  he  wonderingly,  still  blind 
to  the  fact  that  something  unusual  had  happened. 
He  started,  though,  when  Vi  called  him  by  his 
last  name,  for  they  had  been  Burr  and  Vi  with 
each  other  for  some  time.  One  of  the  advantages 
of  cooperation  was  that  first  names  came  very 
easy. 

Our  curiosity  was  aroused  by  this  time,  and  we 
listened  with  mingled  mirth  and  interest  while  Vi, 
in  a  clear,  ringing  voice,  almost  as  though  she  were 
giving  a  recitation,  read  the  following  : 


"  THERE  S    A    LETTER    IN    THE    CANDLE.  99 

MR.  CURTIS  —  Dear  Sir :  I  venture  to  pen  this  epistle  to  you, 
with  a  feeling  in  my  heart  that  it  will  receive  a  kindly  welcome  at 
your  hands,  and  not  be  carelessly  thrown  aside  and  forgotten. 
Shall  I  tell  you  whom  I  am,  or  does  your  throbbing  heart  reveal 
my  identity  to  you  without  the  need  of  words  ?  I  am  the  young 
lady  with  whom  you  spent  such  a  pleasant  afternoon  at  your  pavil- 
ion—  whose  character  you  read  so  flatteringly,  saying  that  the  artist 
who  painted  my  eyes  must  have  dipped  his  pencil  in  the  sky. 
Your  words,  '  There  is  an  affinity  between  us,'  have  haunted  me 
like  echoes  of  the  angels  ever  since  that  blissful  hour.  I  am  sure 
that  your  character  is  noble  as  your  eyes  are  magnificent.  Will 
you  write  to  poor  little  me,  and  honor  me  with  your  friendship  ? 
I  know  your  letters  will  help  me  to  reach  a  higher  plane,  for,  like 
Portia,  I  am  '  happy  in  this.  I  am  not  yet  so  old  but  I  may  learn, 
and  happier  than  this,  I  am  not  bred  so  dull  but  I  can  learn. 
Happiest  of  all,  in  that  my  spirit  commits  itself  to  yours  to  be 
directed.'  While  your  life  floats  happily  and  carelessly  along, 
like  a  chip  on  the  crested  wave  of  ocean,  /am  compelled  to  toil 
life's  pilgrimage  away.  Seventy-two  little  minds  to  teach,  and  a 
course  of  study  to  pursue.  Think  what  a  balm,  then,  your  letters 
will  be  to  my  troubled  spirit,  and  write  to  your  —  may  I  say  '  kin- 
dred soul  ?'  F.  B. 

POST-OFFICE,  CHATHAM,  N.  Y. 

"  Ye  gods  and  little  fishes  ! "  exclaimed  Burr  at 
the  conclusion  of  this  remarkable  specimen  of 
literature. 

"I  wouldn't  be  profane  towards  the  heathen 
deities  and  water -residents,  Mr.  Curtis,"  said  Vi, 
handing  him  the  letter ;  "  I  can  assure  you  that  the 


IOO  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

kernel  of  your  epistle  fully  atones  for  any  short- 
comings in  the  shell." 

Poor  Burr!  His  little  adventure  at  the  pavilion 
had  proven  too  expensive  for  what  it  brought,  and 
as  I  contrasted  the  hilarity  which  had  almost 
strangled  him  when  he  told  me  about  the  "  hugest 
thing,"  with  the  lugubrious  countenance  produced 
by  that  fatal  missive,  I  was  reminded  of  one  of  those 
pictorial  advertisements  of  a  patent  medicine ;  the 
illustration  consisting  of  two  faces  labelled  respect- 
ively, "  Before  "  and  "  After  ;  "  the  one  represent- 
ing the  patient  as  about  to  topple  into  the  grave, 
the  other  exhibiting  him  as  having  been  pulled 
back  from  that  undesirable  brink. 

Outsiders  are  proverbially  cruel  and  exasperat- 
ing where  love-making  is  concerned,  and  it  was  a 
long  time  before  the  inmates  of  the  Castle  would 
allow  that  letter  to  drop  into  oblivion.  They  seemed 
to  look  upon  it  as  coming  under  the  heading  of 
"cooperative,"  and  treated  it  as  public  property. 

The  parlor  door  was  converted  into  a  bulletin- 
board,  and  poor  Burr  was  constantly  treated  to 
epistles  of  a  mock-tender  nature,  directed  to  "  Mr. 
Curtis,  OF  Maple  Grove,"  and  sketches  labelled 
"Portia,"  "Seventy-two  little  minds,"  "Angel 


"  THERE  S    A    LETTER    IN    THE    CANDLE.          IOI 

echoes,"  "A  chip  on  the  crested  wave  of  ocean," 
etc.,  until  he  seriously  contemplated  leaving,  and  only 
refrained  from  going  because  he  hoped  that  time 
might  bring  about  a  reconciliation  between  Vi  and 
himself. 

Not  that  she  had  quarreled  with  him,  by  any 
means!  He  would  not  have  minded  that  so  much; 
but  she  simply  treated  him  as  she  would  any 
ordinary  summer  acquaintance,  entirely  ignoring 
the  fact  of  their  ever  having  been  anytKing  else. 

"  Let  me  play  peace-maker,  old  man,"  I  urged, 
"  and  explain  the  whole  affair  to  her ! "  for  Burr  is  my 
chum,  and  his  interests  are,  I  swear,  very  nearly 
as  dear  to  me  as  my  own. 

"  It  wouldn't  do  any  good,"  he  groaned  ;  "  I  tried 
that :  told  her  I  wanted  to  give  her  an  explanation 
of  that  rascally  letter,  and  all  she  said  was,  that 
though  she  thought  it  was  strange  I  should  select 
her,  still  if  I  wanted  a  confidant,  one  to  whom 
I  could  confide  all  my  little  love  passages 
and  receive  sympathy  and  congratulation,  she 
was  quite  willing  to  accept  the  r61e ;  and  when 
I  asked  her  to  go  down  to  the  pavilion  last  night, 
she  said  it  was  out  of  the  question,  because  she 
had  'a  course  of  study  to  pursue.'" 


IO2  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

I  acknowledged  that  his  case  was  a  hard  one, 
but  urged  him  to  brace  up  and  trust  to  time  and 
chance  to  bring  about  a  better  understanding,  at 
the  same  time  mentally  resolving  to  tell  Mrs.  B. 
the  whole  affair  and  solicit  her  aid. 

When  I  put  this  resolve  into  execution,  I  found 
her  so  exceedingly  non-committal  that  it  was 
evident  she  had  ranged  herself  as  Vi's  ally,  and  I 
was  all  the  more  resolved  to  make  the  other  side 
hoist  the  ffag  of  truce. 

I  made  Burr  pay  sedulous  attention  to  Dolly 
Martin,  with  a  view  to  making  Vi  jealous;  but  she 
was  as  indifferent  as  an  oyster,  and  it  was  clear 
our  little  ruse  de  guerre  had  been  penetrated. 

Meanwhile,  Burr  went  around  like  the  knight  of 
the  rueful  countenance,  and  I  taxed  him  with  try- 
ing to  play  the  melancholy  Dane,  and  told  him 
right  up  and  down  that  if  he  wanted  to  make  Vi 
Reefer  keep  up  her  nonsense  interminably,  he  was 
going  the  right  way  about  it. 

About  this  time  Mabel  Irving  created  a  decided 
diversion,  and  added  another  to  the  many  events 
of  the  summer. 

Irving  had  been  down  on  the  beach  for  a  stroll, 
and  happening  to  come  across  a  live  horseshoe, 


"THERE'S  A  LETTER  IN  THE  CANDLE."     103 

brought  it  up  to  the  house  in  triumph,  thinking  it 
would  amuse  the  ladies. 

He  put  it  down  on  the  carpet,  not  mentioning 
that  it  was  alive,  and  the  ladies  all  gathered  around 
to  look  at  it,  taking  it  for  an  empty  shell,  when 
suddenly  the  monster  began  to  tumble  around 
after  the  awkward  fashion  of  its  kind.  Of  course 
they  were  all  startled,  but  Mabel  carried  her  terror 
to  excess  in  her  love  of  scenes,  and  rushing  for  a 
chair,  mounted  it,  and  seating  herself  on  the  back, 
exclaimed  : 

"  Will  Irving,  how  could  you  bring  such  a  mon- 
ster in  the  house  !  It  might  crawl  up  our  dresses ! " 

The  absurdity  of  a  horseshoe  crawling  up  a 
lady's  dress,  sent  us  into  roars  of  laughter,  when 
suddenly  the  inoffensive  creature  made  another 
move,  and  with  a  shriek,  Mabel  threw  up  her 
hands,  and  she  and  the  chair  went  over  backwards 
together. 

We  made  a  simultaneous  rush  and  picked  her  up 
more  frightened  than  hurt  fortunately,  although  two 
hours  afterwards,  as  she  lay  at  length  on  the  sofa,  she 
answered  our  sympathetic  questions  as  to  how  she 
felt  with  a  "  Pretty  well,  thank  you,"  that  would 
have  drawn  tears  from  a  rattlesnake. 


IO4  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

The  following  morning  the  bulletin-board,  which 
had  now  become  a  regular  institution,  held  two 
sketches  ;  one  representing  a  horseshoe  of  mam- 
moth proportions  trying  to  crawl  up  a  lady's 
dress,  the  other  a  falling  chair  with  a  female  turn- 
ing a  back-summersault  over  it,  while  the  horse- 
shoe stood  on  his  tail  in  the  background,  vigor- 
ously clapping  a  pair  of  mythical  hands. 


CHAPTER  VII. 

A    NEW    EXPERIENCE. 

MRS.  B.  and  I  were  in  sole  and  undisputed 
possession  of  the  Castle. 

The  rest  of  the  household,  even  including  the 
Mullaney  family,  were  gathered  on  the  outskirts 
of  the  grove  watching  the  eccentricities  of  a  party 
of  country  folk  who  were  holding  a  picnic  there. 

We  were  buried  deep  in  grocers'  and  butchers' 
books  whose  startling  array  of  figures,  whenever 
they  came  actively  beneath  our  notice,  always  put 
cooperation  in  its  worst  light,  when  suddenly,  in 
the  midst  of  our  perplexities  and  worries,  a  carriage 
drove  up  to  the  door  and  a  youth  of  the  extremest 
swell  pattern  descended  from  it,  jauntily  swinging 
a  large  leather  valise  in  his  hand  and  looking 
around  as  critically  as  though  he  had  a  mortgage 
on  the  place  and  had  come  to  foreclose  it.  Under 
the  impression  that  he  had  made  a  mistake,  I  went 
forward  to  meet  him  and  put  him  right. 

105 


106  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

"  Is  this  the  Brooks  House  ?  "  he  called  out. 

"  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Brooks  reside  here,"  I  responded 
with  freezing  Jiauteur,  for  I  was,  I  confess,  consid- 
erably nettled  by  the  young  man's  free-and-easy 
style  of  salutation. 

"  It's  the  same  thing,"  he  responded  languidly. 
"That'll  do,  driver,"  flipping  him  a  trade  dollar, 
and  the  carriage  rolled  away  in  the  distance,  while 
that  astonishing  specimen  of  the  jeunesse  dorte 
sauntered  as  naturally  and  easily  into  the  parlor  as 
a  fly  into  a  spider  web,  plumped  his  valise  down 
in  the  middle  of  the  floor,  and,  remarking  that  it 
was  hot,  lifted  a  fancy  fan  from  its  nail  on  the  wall, 
dropped  into  an  easy-chair  and  commenced  fan- 
ning himself  and  taking  an  inventory  of  our 
belongings. 

The  situation  was  novel  and  peculiar,  not  to  say 
exasperating. 

Here  was  an  exquisite  youth  of  slender  build 
and  ditto  moustache,  whom  we  had  never  seen 
before,  taking  possession  of  our  Castle  with  all  the 
sang  froid  of  a  sheriff  with  a  warrant,  while  we 
sat  looking  at  him  despairingly,  and  wondered 
what  his  next  move  would  be. 

His  personal  appearance  assuredly  merited  the 


A    NEW    EXPERIENCE.  IO/ 

adjective  "crushing,"  if  ever  get-up  earned  that 
high  qualification.  He  wore  plaid  pants,  a  six-but- 
ton cut-away  coat,  a  crimson  necktie  ;  his  shirt  and 
cuffs  and  collar  were  over-running  with  miniature 
horseshoes,  and  as  he  fanned  himself  he  perfumed 
the  entire  apartment  with  violet  perfume,  in 
which  we  speedily  decided  he  must  have  recently 
taken  a  bath,  and  become  saturated  with  all  sweeter 
qualities  of  the  little  flower  save  its  modesty. 

We  had  just  leisure  to  take  in  these  details, 
when  he  remarked  languidly  and  easily  : 

"  I  want  to  see  Miss  Martin." 

"  She's  out,"  I  replied  shortly,  though  a  faint 
glimmer  of  understanding  came  to  me  with  his 
observation. 

"Well!  it's  of  no  consequence,"  with  a  yawn. 
"  If  you'll  just  call  some  one  to  show  me  a  room, 
and  carry  my  baggage  up-stairs,  I  believe  I'll  rag 
for  dinner." 

"How  long  do  you  propose  to  remain?"  I  in- 
quired sarcastically. 

"  Oh,  as  long  as  I  can  stand  the  hash." 

This  was  carrying  things  a  little  too  far  with 
a  vengeance. 

"My   friend,"    I    remarked,    "will   you     kindly 


io8  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

inform  me  what  has  misled  you  into  the  delusion 
of  taking  this  house  for  a  tavern  ?  " 

"  Oh,  I  see  !  "  he  mumbled;  "won't  accommodate 
transients,  eh  ?  " 

"  Or  a  boarding-house  of  any  description  ?  "  I 
thundered,  provoked  at  his  lack  of  comprehension. 

"  By  Jupiter !  "  he  exclaimed,  reddening  up  to 
his  ears.  "  You  don't  mean  to  say  this  is  a  private 
residence,  do  you  ?  " 

"  Phenomenal  and  abnormal  as  that  fact  may 
seem,  and  difficult  as  it  appears  to  be  for  your 
obtuse  and  restricted  mental  faculties  to  grasp  a 
thorough  comprehension  of  its  bearings,  that  is 
just  what  I  wish  to  remark ;  and  I  think  I  may  add 
with  Bret  Harte,  'that  my  language  is  plain.'  ' 

"  Don't  Miss  Martin  board — er,reside  —  er  here  ? " 
he  asked  in  a  bewildered  sort  of  way,  as  though  he 
was  almost  afraid  to  ask  any  further  information. 

"  She  certainly  does."  And  then  pitying  his 
confusion,  and  realizing  that  he  was  the  victim  of 
some  mistake,  I  proceeded  to  sketch  for  his  benefit 
the  outlines  of  our  plan,  and  explain  how  the  Mar- 
tin girls  were  living  with  us. 

Then  he  in  his  turn  entered  upon  an  explanation. 
It  appeared  that  Dolly  Martin  had  written  to  him 


A    NEW    EXPERIENCE.  ICX) 

that  she  war,  spending  the  summer  at  Maple  Grove 
Castle,  and,  not  being  fond  of  lengthening  her 
letters  with  details,  had  entirely  omitted  to  state 
how.  He,  in  consequence,  took  it  for  granted  she 
was  boarding,  and  made  up  his  mind  to  surprise 
her  by  spending  his  two  weeks'  vacation  in  the 
same  house  with  her.  As  a  surprise  his  arrival 
was  an  indubitable  success,  though  it  didn't  go  off 
exactly  according  to  his  expectations. 

He  concluded  his  explanation  with  such  a  string 
of  apologies  and  manifested  such  feeling  over  his 
blunder,  that,  finding  he  was  a  decent  sort  of  fellow 
after  all,  we  forgave  him. 

All  the  time  we  were  talking  he  was  evidently 
screwing  up  his  courage,  for  he  moved  about 
uneasily  on  his  chair,  and  finally  asked  if  he  might 
come  under  the  plan  for  a  couple  of  weeks,  or  if 
first  impressions  had  debarred  him  from  that 
pleasure.  He  was  assured  to  the  contrary,  and 
the  name  of  Emile  Mortimer  was  added  to  the 
muster-roll. 

Presently  our  new  arrival  had  the  felicity  of  see- 
ing Burr  and  Dojly  return  from  the  grove  together 
—  to  all  appearance  deeply  interested  in  each 
other —  whileViand  the  rest  strolled  leisurely  along 


IIO  POLLYS    SCHEME. 

in  the  rear,  and  from  the  ugly  scowl  which  mantled 
his  countenance  at  the  sight,  it  began  to  look  as 
though  we  were  on  the  road  to  fresh  disasters. 
Dolly's  unfeigned  surprise  and  delight  at  seeing 
him,  however,  soon  smoothed  out  the  wrinkles  and 
he  smiled  all  over  with  contentment. 

Emile  Mortimer  was  one  of  the  most  extraordi- 
nary individuals  I  ever  met  on  the  thorny  path- 
ways of  life.  He  proved  the  "  character  "  of  the 
summer,  and  was  destined  before  he  left  to  give 
us  an  entirely  new  sensation.  One  of  his  peculiar- 
ities was  to  misquote  poetry  in  season  and  out  of 
season,  and  then  attribute  it  to  some  author 
who  would  have  blushed  to  own  it  even  in  the 
original. 

He  startled  us  with  a  specimen  of  this  the  first 
evening  of  his  arrival.  We  were  all  sitting  on  the 
piazza  admiring  the  beautiful  outlines  of  a  ship  as 
she  sailed  slowly  and  majestically  through  the  pale 
rays  of  the  moon,  when  he  observed  suddenly  : 

"  By  Jove  !  as  Moore  says,   she  looks  like  — 

1 A  ship  that's  been  painted  on  the  ocean.  '  " 

Good  breeding  required  that  we  should  all  have 
a  violent  attack  of  coughing,  which  he  uncon- 
sciously added  to  by  innocently  inquiring  if  we 


A    NEW    EXPERIENCE.  I  I  I 

didn't  think  we  were  catching  cold  by  sitting  out- 
side after  sunset. 

The  most  casual  observer  could  not  fail  to  per- 
ceive that  Emile  Mortimer  was  deeply  and  desper- 
ately in  the  throes  of  love  for  chubby  little  Dolly 
Martin,  and  it  was  equally  evident  that  his  love 
was  hopeless,  and  that  the  flames  which  were  con- 
suming him  had  failed  to  create  a  responsive  con- 
flagration ;  for  while  Dolly  treated  him  with  the 
utmost  friendliness,  there  were  certainly  no  mani- 
festations on  her  part  which  could  be  construed 
into  love's  witnesses,  and  she  was  certainly  not 
allowing  concealment  to  prey  on  her  damask  cheek. 

Dolly's  weakness,  however,  was  driving,  and  her 
luckless  swain  finding  that  the  only  spot  where  he 
could  secure  her  undivided  society  was  behind  a 
horse,  squandered  more  money  on  buggies  during 
his  stay  than  I  am  confident  his  exchequer  would 
admit  of  without  heavy  djafts  on  his  necktie  fund. 

He  was  by  no  means  reticent  about  his  affairs, 
and  must  have  made  a  confidant  of  every  occupant 
of  the  Castle,  including  the  Mullaney  family ;  for  in 
three  days  afte*  his  arrival,  his  love-suit  was  as 
freely  canvassed  as  the  weather,  from  the  parlor  to 
the  kitchen. 


112  POLLYS    SCHEME. 

Vi  and  Burr  were  as  far  apart  as  ever,  and  Cupid 
must  have  enjoyed  the  mess  his  pranks  had  created 
in  the  Castle.  How  pleasant  it  would  have  been 
for  all  concerned  at  this  juncture,  if  he  could  have 
been  induced  to  put  on  the  flowery  yoke  of  cooper- 
ation, instead  of  standing  aloof  as  an  outsider,  and 
occasionally  sending  an  arrow  with  sufficient  force 
to  make  the  target  quiver,  but  always  a  little  wide 
of  the  centre ! 

Entanglements  of  the  most  trying  and  ridiculous 
nature  were  brought  about  by  the  various  emo- 
tions which  throbbed  in  the  bosoms  of  our  inter- 
esting quartet,  until  it  seemed  as  though  the 
skein  was  snarled  beyond  unravelling. 

Mortimer  was  advised  to  try  the  effect  of  mak- 
ing Dolly  jealous,  by  playing  attentive  to  Vi,  and, 
being  an  easily  persuaded  youth,  he  started  in  at  it 
with  all  the  zeal  of  an  impulsive  nature,  finding  Vi 
quite  ready  to  meet  him  half  way.  The  jealousy 
was  duly  forthcoming,  but,  alas !  had  not  its  source 
in  Dolly's  gentle  bosom.  Burr,  however,  became 
furious,  and  declared  if  that  little  cad  thought,  be- 
cause he  had  a  Saratoga  trunk  full  of  neckties  he 
could  play  any  games  on  him,  he'd  better  look  out 
for  squalls.  My  advice,  as  usual,  was  for  tit-for-tat 


A    NEW    EXPERIENCE.  113 

proceedings,  and  Burr  took  Dolly  out  buggy-riding. 
This  fitted  the  boot  nicely  on  the  other  leg,  and 
the  scion  of  the  house  of  Mortimer  in  turn  waxed 
wroth  and  called  out  after  them  that  he  hoped  the 
horse  wouldn't  run  away,  to  which  Burr  responded 
witheringly  that  next  time  he  would  see  there  was 
a  seat  up  behind  for  Mortimer,  so  that  he  might  be 
on  hand  in  case  his  services  were  required.  There 
was  so  much  flashing  of  powder  that  there  was 
cause  for  dread  lest  blank  cartridges  should  speedily 
become  too  mild  to  suit  the  temper  of  the  belliger- 
ents ;  and  as  a  last  effort  to  preserve  the  peace,  I 
took  occasion  to  have  a  talk  with  Dolly  and  put 
before  her  forcibly  the  unfairness  of  her  conduct  in 
leaving  a  poor  fellow  out  in  the  cold  when  he  came 
up  from  New  York  especially  to  be  with  her,  suc- 
ceeding at  length  in  persuading  her  to  favor  her 
admirer  with  her  society  and  smiles. 

This  foreign  interference,  however,  while  it 
brought  about  the  desired  cessation  of  hostilities, 
was  not  productive  of  good  results  for  Mortimer, 
for  the  poor  fellow  mistaking  the  attention  which 
Dolly  paid  him  as  a  duty  for  the  dawning  of  a  feel- 
ing on  her  part  reciprocal  to  his  own  passion  for 
her,  became  proportionately  elated,  and  one  Satur- 


ii4  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

day  afternoon  solicited  the  pleasure  of  her  society 
for  a  walk  in  the  grove  in  such  a  conscious  manner 
that  we  exchanged  smiles  all  around,  and  felt  con- 
vinced that  the  momentous  question  was  about  to 
be  propounded. 

When  Dolly  returned  to  the  house  alone  about 
an  hour  afterward,  half  laughing  and  half  crying, 
nothing  further  was  needed  to  confirm  our  conject- 
ures and  also  to  indicate  pretty  conclusively  that 
the  young  Lothario  had  had  his  hopes  very  effect- 
ually blasted. 

That  eventful  evening  Emile  Mortimer  failed  to 
put  in  an  appearance  at  dinner  ;  and  Dolly  very 
naturally  became  the  cynosure  of  all  eyes  in  con- 
sequence of  his  defection.  She  studied  her  plate, 
however,  so  perseveringly  that  Burr  asked  : 

"  Which  is  it,  Dolly,  majolica  or  faience  ? " 

To  which  she  replied  irrelevantly : 

"I'm  sure  I  don't  know.  I  haven't  seen  him 
since  this  afternoon,"  which  created  a  hearty  laugh 
at  her  expense. 

Some  one  suggested  that  he  had  gone  to  the 
blacksmith's  to  have  his  shirt  reshod,  which  palpa- 
ble hit  at  that  horseshoe  shirt  pattern  was  greeted 
with  wild  applause  and  promptly  written  down  in 


A    NEW    EXPERIENCE.  11$ 

the  Maple  Grove  log,  a  nautical  institution  for  the 
reception  of  jokes  which  I  have  heretofore  omitted 
to  mention. 

About  eight  o'clock  that  evening  —  one  of  the 
balmiest  of  the  summer — when  we  were  all  sitting 
on  the  piazza.,  Burr,  as  usual,  manoeuvring  to  get 
near  Vi,  and  only  succeeding  in  being  well  snubbed 
for  his  pains,  we  saw  some  one  sauntering  slowly 
up  from  the  pavilion  in  such  zig-zag  fashion  that  Vi 
appropriately  quoted : 

"  There  was  a  crooked  man, 
And  he  walked  a  crooked  mile." 

To  which  Burr  added  : 

"  And  he  found  some  crooked  whiskey 
And  took  a  crooked  smile," 

which  brilliant  piece  of  originality  had  just  time 
to  be  appreciated  when  a  nearer  approach  of  the 
subject  of  our  rhymes  revealed  to  our  astonished 
eyes  the  ultra-refined,  double-distilled  exquisite, 
Emile  Mortimer. 

Alas,  how  were  the  mighty  fallen  !  His  dainty 
Derby  hat  was  en  the  back  of  his  head  ;  his  laven- 
der tie  was  in  confidential  communication  with  his 
ear ;  in  a  word,  disorder  ruled  omnipotent  in  his 
dress  and  person.  Such  a  complete  metamorphosis 


1 1 6  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

had  taken  place  in  the  appearance  of  our  Beau 
Brummel  that  I  was  moved  to  exclaim  : 

"'Tis  Greece,  but  living  Greece  no  more." 

Instead  of  walking  up  the  path  and  joining  us, 
he  turned  aside  as  he  reached  the  house  and  sneaked 
around  to  the  other  entrance. 

Marveling  greatly  at  his  strange  plight,  Burr 
and  I  murmured  our  excuses  simultaneously  and 
went  around  to  meet  him.  We  found  him  sitting 
despondently  on  the  doorstep,  in  an  attitude  of 
extinguished  despair.  Such  complete  hopelessness 
as  he  betrayed  knows  but  one  parallel  in  history — 
Marius  mourning  over  the  ruins  of  Carthage. 
Investigation  proved,  moreover,  that  he  was  wet : 
he  was  more  than  wet — he  was  sopping;  and  our 
curiosity  to  learn  the  cause  of  this  strange  condi- 
tion of  being  on  a  cloudless  summer  night,  knew 
no  bounds. 

"  Why,  what's  the  matter,  old  fellow  ? "  said  Burr 
sympathetically.  "  Have  you  been  saving  some  one 
from  drowning  ? " 

"Yes,"  he  answered  sepulchrally;  "myself.  It 
was  no  use;  I  couldn't  stand  the  taste  of  the  salt 
water.  You  see  the  fact  is,  boys,  my  life  being  now 
valueless  to  all,  but  most  of  all  to  myself,  I  thought  to 


A    NEW    EXPERIENCE.  I  I/ 

end  it  by  a  plunge ;  but  alas  !  the  water  was  cold  and 
tasted  nasty,  ugh!  and  somehow  I  couldn't  finish 
the  business ;  but  I  do  not  wish  to  survive,  and  so  I 
am  sitting  here  to  catch  cold  and  die  of  consump- 
tion." 

We  managed  to  keep  our  faces  straight  during 
this  tirade,  for  absurd  as  it  seemed,  there  could  be 
no  question  but  that  the  poor  wretch  was  in 
earnest  and  really  wished  to  cross  the  Stygian 
river.  Burr  especially,  with  his  own  troubles  in 
mind,  could  sympathize  with  the  luckless  swain, 
and  he  it  was  that  undertook  to  comfort  him. 

"Cheer  up,  Mortimer,"  he  said;  '"faint  heart 
ne'er  won  fair  lady,'  you  know,  and  Dolly  may  yet 
yield  to  your  solicitations." 

"Do  you  think  so?"  he  cried,  catching  eagerly 
at  the  straw ;  and  then  shaking  his  head  he 
exclaimed  mournfully : 

"  No  ;  death  alone  is  left  me." 

To  rally  a  man  in  such  deep  affliction  is  no  easy 
thing,  but  we  finally  succeeded  in  persuading  him 
to  change  his  slothes,  and  in  the  course  of  half  an 
hour  he  reappeared  gorgeously  arrayed  in  a  suit  of 
plaid  clothes  and  an  orange  necktie,  showing  that 
-the  prevailing  passion  was  strong  even  in  the 


u8  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

throes  of  love's  awful  anguish.  Dolly,  to  soften 
down  the  effects  of  her  refusal,  was  particularly 
pleasant  towards  him  that  evening  and  he  seemed 
to  have  entirely  recovered  his  spirits,  for  he  laughed 
and  misquoted  from  the  poets  as  frequently  as 
usual. 

That  night,  however,  Burr,  whose  room  was 
next  to  the  one  occupied  by  Mortimer,  knocked 
softly  at  my  door  and  made  me  tiptoe  up-stairs 
with  him.  Together  we  listened  outside  Morti- 
mer's door,  and  the  style  of  soliloquy  that  reached 
our  ears  would  have  been  ridiculous  if  it  had  not 
been  so  earnest.  It  ran  this  way  : 

"  The  fact  is,  Dolly  doesn't  love  me  and  it's  time 
to  die  ;  that's  all  there  is  about  it.  Now  I've  tried 
drowning  and  I  don't  like  it,  so  I'll  take  this  pistol 
and  blow  my  brains  out."  Here  his  voice  qua- 
vered. "  Yes,  that's  just  what  I'll  do.  It  ought 
to  be  a  bare  bodkin,  but  it  isn't,  so  here  goes  ;  it's 
hard,  but  here  goes,  one,  two  " — but  the  three  was 
never  uttered,  for  Burr  and  I  burst  open  the  door, 
and  while  I  pinioned  his  arms,  Burr  took  the  pistol 
from  his  nerveless  hands  and  dropped  it  quietly 
into  a  pitcher  of  water.  I  have  my  doubts  whether 
that  pistol  would  at  the  last  moment  have  been 


A    NEW    EXPERIENCE.  I  IQ 

put  to  the  deadly  use  for  which  he  intended  it, 
after  all.  At  all  events,  he  did  not  display  any  great 
amount  of  anguish  at  being  frustrated  in  his 
attempt  atfe/o  de  se,  and  said  good-night  as  cheer- 
fully as  a  clown  cracking  jokes  at  a  circus. 

His  suicidal  mania  apparently  gave  out  after  the 
failure  of  this  second  attempt,  for,  though  he 
remained  with  us  a  week,  we  had  no  further  trouble 
with  him. 

At  the  end  of  that  time  he  took  his  departure, 
and  it  was  with  a  feeling  of  relief  that  we  bade 
him  good-by.  His  coming  had  been  bizarre,  and 
his  going  was  welcome. 

The  morning  after  his  departure  the  bulletin- 
board  recorded  his  virtues  in  an  illustration  repre- 
senting a  youth  with  eyes  in  a  "fine  frenzy  rolling," 
around  him  a  rope,  a  well  and  a  pistol,  underneath 
him  the  inscription,  "  Which  ?  " 


CHAPTER   VIII. 

PLOTS    AND    COUNTERPLOTS. 

AH  me  !  but  it's  pretty  rough  on  a  fellow  ! " 
sighed  Burr,  as  he  baited  his  hook  with  a 
fresh  clam  and  threw  his  line  languidly  over  the 
side  of  the  boat. 

By  a  stretch  of  the  imagination,  we  were  sup- 
posed to  be  fishing.  In  reality,  he  had  been  indus- 
triously and  charitably  feeding  the  fish  for  the  past 
hour ;  and  once,  when  a  two-pound  black-fish  had 
been  so  foolish  as  to  insist  on  sticking  to  his  hook 
in  spite  of  every  possible  incentive  to  escape,  he 
had  pulled  him  into  the  boat,  and  then  sat  there 
watching  his  flurry  with  a  nonchalant  "  Caught  an- 
other, have  you,  Brooksy  ? "  while  he  proceeded 
with  mechanical  deliberation  to  bait  my  hook 
which  happened  to  be  lying  at  his  side. 

"  Yes,  it's  tough,"  I  answered ;  "  but  every  lane 
has  a  turning." 

"  Or   an   end.     Spare    me    your    platitudes.     I 

120 


PLOTS    AND    COUNTERPLOTS.  12 1 

know  their  value  in  turning  a  conversation  grace- 
fully, but  they  aren't  practical.  That's  the  beauty 
of  your  proverbs.  They  sound  well,  and  that's  all. 
Vox  et  praterea  nihil !  That  infernal  letter  has 
done  more  execution  than  a  regiment  of  artillery 
could  do  in  a  day's  fighting.  Vi  fairly  bristles  with 
quotations  from  it,  and  never  misses  an  opportunity 
of  letting  me  have  one  full  in  the  face.  I  asked 
her  this  morning,  for  example,  in  desperation,  why 
she  never  looked  at  me  any  more,  and  all  the  satis- 
faction I  received  was  to  have  some  more  of  that 
wretched  female's  rubbish  hurled  at  my  head.  She 
said  that  unfortunately  the  artist  who  painted  her 
eyes  hadn't  '  dipped  his  pencil  in  the  sky,'  and 
she  supposed  they  didn't  possess  sufficient  celestial 
power  to  look  into  my  '  magnificent  ones '  without 
being  dazzled,  but  she  trusted  '  she  was  not  bred  so 
dull '  but  that  she  was  able  to  appreciate  my  '  mag- 
nificent character.'  Now,  how  in  the  name  of  the 
gods,  is  a  fellow  going  to  meet  a  battery  like 
that  ? " 

I  confessed  it  was  a  poser ;  but  added  that  the 
girl's  very  stand-offish-ness  and  brilliancy  of  repar- 
tee but  served  to  make  her  all  the  more  worth  the 
winnins:. 


"  rtang  it,  man  !  x  ou  re  a  regular  job  s  com- 
forter," groaned  Burr.  "  When  you  find  the  fruit's 
out  of  my  reach,  there's  no  special  necessity  to 
praise  it's  flavor,  is  there  ?  " 

"  Nonsense  !  "  I  retorted.  "  If  you  can't  reach 
the  fruit  from  the  ground,  get  a  ladder  ;  but  never 
give  up  trying." 

Burr's  only  answer  was  a  despondent  groan. 

How  was  this  unfortunate  misunderstanding 
going  to  end  ?  I  wondered  with  a  vague  dread  creep- 
ing over  me  at  times  that  the  ship  was  going  to 
founder  spite  of  all  my  efforts. 

Taxing  Mrs.  B.  with  being  a  promoter  of  the 
mischief  was  as  useless  as  trying  to  drink  out  of  a 
sieve.  Polly  is  as  good  as  gold,  but  where  match- 
making or  match^br^aking  are  in  question,  it's 
"  hands  off !  "  and  if  you  disobey  the  warning,  why 
they'll  simply  get  burned. 

I  pondered  and  pondered  over  the  matter  until 
my  thinking  faculties  almost  refused  their  office, 
and  was  toppling  over  the  verge  of  despair,  when 
all  of  a  sudden  an  inspiration — or  what  seemed 
like  one — came. 

I  said  nothing  whatever  to  Burr,  for  my  inspira- 
tion was  only  to  be  put  into  existence  as  a  last 


resort,  and  I  still  hoped  that  a  reconciliation  might 
come  about  naturally. 

In  another  month  the  break-up  would  come,  and 
cooperation  with  all  its  virtues  and  vices,  would  be 
interred  in  the  grave  of  the  past,  never  more  to  be 
resurrected.  This  was  by  no  means  a  pleasant 
prospect ;  for  we  had  become  so  knitted  together 
by  living  under  one  roof  that  we  were  like  one  fam- 
ily, and  parting  would  come  very  hard  to  us  at  first. 

There  seemed  to  be  a  general  resolve  through- 
out the  Castle,  to  make  the  last  month,  at  any  rate, 
'a  thing  of  beauty  and  a  joy  forever  ; '  for  one  plan 
after  the  other  was  devised  and  carried  out  with 
vim,  until  it  really  seemed  as  though  originality 
must  reach  a  climax. 

One  glorious  moonlight  night  some  one  proposed 
a  midnight  excursion  to  the  grave-yard,  distant 
about  three-quarters  of  a  mile  from  the  Castle,  on 
the  village  road,  and  as  mad  freaks  had  become  the 
order  of  the  day — and  night  too — vociferous  ap- 
plause greeted  the  proposal,  which  was  at  once 
adopted. 

There  happened  to  be  two  young  fellows  from 
the  city  staying  over  Sunday  with  us — the  expedi- 
tion took  place  on  a  Saturday  night — and  as  they 


were  acquainted  with  the  entire  party,  and  could 
see  that  the  ladies  were  properly  attended  to,  I 
resolved,  if  possible,  to  get  hold  of  Burr  in  the 
grave-yard  and  make  him  a  partner  in  my  inspira- 
tion ;  for  Vi  was  really  snubbing  the  poor  fellow 
shamefully,  and  entering  into  pronounced  flirtations 
with  all  comers. 

Burr  carried  such  a  serious,  worried  countenance 
that  I  could  hardly  recognize  the  merry  Wilbur 
Curtis  of  old,  and  it  was  really  time  to  put  an  end 
to  Vi's  fun,  if  that  feat  could  be  accomplished. 
Our  cadaverous  destination  seemed  to  have  no  very 
harrowing  effect  upon  the  party  at  starting.  They 
were  as  merry  as  a  crew  of  ghouls  and  goblins  on  a 
midsummer-night  picnic. 

As  we  began  to  near  the  resting-place  of  the 
dead,  however,  and  the  moonlight  turned  the 
tombstones  into  a  ghastly,  yellowish  white,  while 
the  wind  soughed  dismally,  and,  like  departed  spir- 
its, through  the  branches  overhead — for  the  grave- 
yard was  almost  a  forest — the  songs  died  out, 
in  my  opinion,  nothing  but  the  dread  of  ridi- 
cule sustained  the  faltering  footsteps  of  the  ladies, 
and  kept  them  from  abandoning  the  enterprise 
then  and  there.  At  this  juncture,  Mabel  Irving 


announced  that  she  felt  faint ;  and  this  sounded  so 
of  the  earth,  earthy,  and  so  natural,  withal,  that  it 
revived  the  courage  of  the  others,  and  they  plunged 
boldly  into  the  city  of  the  dead. 

Vi  alone  was  really  fearless. 

She  said  it  was  out  of  all  question  that  she  could 
ever  have  injured  any  one  whose  clay  was  reposing 
there,  for  she  hadn't  known  them  in  life,  and  she 
didn't  see  why  she  should  fear  them  in  death  ; 
indeed,  she  often  branched  off  from  the  rest  to 
explore  side-paths,  and  positively  refused  all 
escortage. 

As  soon  as  the  party  were  snugly  settled  on  a 
long  bench  before  the  monument  of  a  village  nota- 
ble, telling  ghost  stories,  I  admonished  Burr  by  a 
pinch  of  the  arm  that  I  wanted  to  see  him,  and  we 
stole  off  under  pretence  of  being  afraid  to  listen  to 
their  ghost  stories  ;  indeed,  so  interested  were  the 
rest  in  the  horrors  they  were  resurrecting  from 
their  memories  that  I  hardly  think  they  noticed 
our  departure  at  all. 

Seating  ourselves  on  a  grave  at  some  little  dis- 
tance, I  made  an  opportunity  to  tell  Burr  of  my 
latest  plotting. 

The  inspiration  which  had  come  to  me  was  that 


Burr  must  try  the  effect  of  temporary  absence,  but 
it  must  have  the  appearance  of  being  final. 

My  idea  was  that  he  could  spend  a  week  at  the 
Templeton  House,  a  few  miles  down  the  coast,  and 
I  would  row  over  every  day  and  report  progress. 
Of  course  the  entire  household  must  be  made  to 
believe  —  Mrs.  B.  inclusive  —  that  he  had  returned 
to  the  city  for  good,  and  then  we  would  see  how 
that  little  minx  Viola  Reefer,  would  relish  his 
desertion  of  her. 

At  this  point  Burr  started  to  his  feet,  declaring 
he  heard  some  one  laugh  behind  the  tomb-stone 
back  of  us.  Investigation  proved,  however,  that  no 
one  was  there,  and  I  taxed  him  with  being  affected 
by  the  influences  of  the  place,  and  inclined  to 
superstition,  though  I  confess  that  I  too  had  a  sort 
of  ringing  sound  in  my  ear,  like  the  echo  of  a  gob- 
lin's laugh. 

Burr  wasn't  very  enthusiastic  over  my  plan ;  said 
that  he  didn't  believe  the  memory  of  that  mischiev- 
ous letter  would  ever  sink  into  oblivion,  and 
finished  up  by  declaring  that  if  he  were  lying  under 
the  sod,  instead  of  sitting  on  it,  he  didn't  believe  it 
would  make  the  difference  of  a  penny  postage 
stamp  to  Vi  Reefer. 


At  the  same  time  he  acknowledged  that  one 
plan  was  as  good  as  another,  and  he  thought  he 
might  as  well  try  absence  and  see  if  it  would  have 
any  effect;  it  would  be  a  diversion,  anyhow,  and 
that  was  better  than  nothing. 

Visions  of  success  and  matrimony  flashed  before 
my  eyes — so  sanguine  is  one  in  one's  own  machin- 
ations—  and  I  lost  no  time  in  pressing  upon  him 
the  importance  of  arranging  our  plans  at  once,  so 
that  no  hitch  might  occur  to  mar  them. 

He  was  to  give  out  the  following  morning  that 
he  had  decided  to  return  to  the  city  Monday,  on 
account  of  a  law-suit  he  had  coming  on  during  the 
week,  and  spite  of  all  our  urgings  —  mine  among 
the  rest — was  to  stick  to  his  resolution,  and  take 
the  train  Monday  morning  to  the  next  station, 
whence  he  could  be  driven  to  the  Templeton 
House,  where  I  would  join  him  on  the  following 
day  and  bring  him  back  with  me  if  the  fruit  had 
ripened  in  the  meanwhile.  If,  on  the  other  hand, 
Vi  showed  no  signs  of  weakening,  he  was  to  sur- 
prise her  at  the  end  of  a  week  by  a  sudden 
re-appearance  into  falling  convulsively  into  his  out- 
stretched arms. 

Just  as  this,  the  consummation  so  devoutly  to  be 


wished  for,  had  been  reached  —  in  theory  —  we 
were  startled  back  to  the  actualities  of  life  by  a 
loud  and  prolonged  shriek,  and  leaping  to  our  feet, 
we  rushed  back  to  the  place  where  we  had  left  our 
party,  I  in  mortal  terror,  lest  the  commotion  beto- 
kened some  accident  to  Mrs.  B.  and  Burr  equally 
worried  about  Vi's  welfare. 

His  anxiety  about  that  little  witch  proved,  how- 
ever, to  be  entirely  misplaced  and  groundless. 
There  stood  the  object  of  his  keen  solicitude,  her 
face  glowing  and  smoking  with  the  lurid  light  of 
phosphorus,  lines  of  the  same  diabolical  compound 
extending  down  the  front  breadths  of  her  dress, 
a  white  handkerchief  bound  around  her  head,  point- 
ing her  mischievous  finger  at  the  occupants  of  the 
bench,  having,  as  we  subsequently  learned,  timed 
her  saturnine  appearance  from  behind  a  neighbor- 
ing tombstone  so  that  it  chimed  nicely  with  the 
arrival  of  the  ghost  in  the  story  which  was  under 
narration.  The  effect  of  such  an  appearance  on  a 
company  of  people  already  aroused  to  the  highest 
pitch  of  excitement  and  nervousness  by  their  sur- 
roundings, and  the  ghostly  stories  to  which  they 
had  been  listening,  can  be  easier  imagined  than 
described.  They  were  laughing  nervously  when 


we  came  up,  and  trying  to  affect  a  relish  of  the 
joke,  but  the  abject  terror  into  which  they  had 
been  thrown  by  Vi's  theatrical  entree  was  easily 
discernible  on  the  pale,  livid  faces  of  men  and 
women  alike ;  and  certainly  such  a  sight  in  such  a 
place  might  well  make  the  boldest  shudder.  By 
this  time  the  most  exacting  were  satisfied  that  the 
pleasures  of  grave-yard  picnics  had  been  drunk 
to  the  dregs,  and  a  motion  to  adjourn  was  carried 
unanimously.  On  making  a  move  for  the  house, 
however,  it  was  discovered  that  for  once  in  her 
life,  Mabel  Irving,  the  heroine  of  many  false  alarms, 
had  really,  truly,  and  honestly  fainted,  and  in  the 
confusion  it  had  passed  unnoticed. 

Poor  mischievous  Vi !  The  phosphorescent  de- 
spair and  remorse  depicted  in  her  countenance 
when  this  catastrophe  came  to  light,  was  enough 
to  make  the  sternest  of  disciplinarians  overlook  her 
thoughtless  prank.  She  rushed  vehemently  at  her 
victim,  and  seizing  her  in  her  arms,  accused  her- 
self of  being  a  heartless  murderess.  Mabel,  open- 
ing her  eyes  at  this  juncture,  and  finding  herself 
apparently  in  the  grasp  of  a  demon  —  for  the 
phosphorous  was  more  active  than  ever  —  with 
the  awful  word  "  murderess  "  falling  on  her  semi- 


conscious  ears,  gave  one  shriek  and  straightway 
went  off  again  into  what  this  time  proved  a  pro- 
longed swoon. 

This  series  of  catastrophes  robbed  the  enter- 
prize  of  all  its  charms,  and  as  soon  as  the  unfortu- 
nate Mabel  could  be  brought  back  to  a  realizing 
sense  of  mundane  things,  we  shook  the  dust  off 
our  feet  and  left  the  scene  of  the  disaster,  feeling 
well  pleased  when  the  Castle  loomed  up  in  the 
distance. 

Dear  old  Castle  !  How  many  happy  hours  have 
been  passed  beneath  thy  flag,  and  how  shadowy 
the  troubled  ones,  mellowed  by  time,  appear  in 
comparison ! 

Burr's  announcement  that  the  demands  of  busi- 
ness compelled  him  to  sever  his  connection  with 
the  cooperative  association  seemed  to  fall  with 
saddening  effect  on  every  one  but  that  wretched, 
incomprehensible  Vi.  She  simply  looked  up  from 
her  novel  and  remarked  carelessly : 

"  I  suppose  you  feel  in  duty  bound  to  spend 
part  of  your  summer  at  Chatham,  Mr.  Curtis,  so 
that  your  friend  may  not  be  '  compelled  to  toil  all 
of  life's  pilgrimage  away '  alone." 

As  Chatham  was  the  address  given  in  the  cele- 


brated  letter,  from  which  she  had  also  given  a  well- 
remembered  quotation,  the  inference  was  plain 
to  all,  and  Burr  was  furious. 

Was  she  really  indifferent  to  him  after  all,  and 
was  the  present  plot  destined  to  be  as  futile  in 
results  as  its  predecessors  ?  Time  alone  would 
show. 


CHAPTER   IX. 

POLLY   TAKES    A    PLEASURE   DRIVE. 

NOT   so   much   as   an  ordinary  inquiry  as  to 
whether  you  had  heard  from  me  or  not, 
eh  ? " 

It  was  the  Wednesday  afternoon  after  the  grave- 
yard adventure,  and  Burr  and  I  were  seated  on 
the  piazza  of  the  Templeton  House,  stretching  our 
legs  and  enjoying  the  delightful  breezes  of  ocean. 
The  plot  was  now  under  full  sail,  but  somehow  had 
failed  to  bring  about  the  intended  results,  and  was 
fast  on  the  way  to  join  its  predecessors  in  the 
cemetery  of  shattered  hopes.  Half  the  allotted 
week  had  already  become  a  thing  of  the  past,  and 
if  Vi  was  broken-hearted,  or  even  bruised  in  the 
cardiac  region,  she  had  a  peculiar  style  of  showing 
it ;  for  such  a  knowing,  mischievous  look  as  had 
shone  in  her  wicked  gray  eyes  since  Burr's  de- 
parture I  had  never  seen  there  in  all  my  previous 
acquaintance  with  her,  and  it  looked,  sometimes,  as 

132 


though  the  sprite  rather  relished  his  absence  than 
otherwise. 

Of  course  I  didn't  put  it  in  this  unflattering 
light  to  her  devoted  swain,  but,  for  the  life  of  me, 
I  couldn't  tell  a  downright  falsehood  to  an  old 
chum,  and  swear  that  she  was  pining  away  to  a 
straw,  when,  as  a  fact,  she  ate  her  three  meals  a 
day  unmurmuringly,  and  was  looking  the  very  pict- 
ure of  rosy  health. 

Consequently,  as  we  sat  there  on  the  piazza, 
Burr  was  blue,  and  I  was  thoughtful,  for  I  was  try- 
ing to  conjure  up  some  delicate  way  of  advising 
him  to  give  Vi  up  for  good,  and  at  the  same  time 
let  him  down  easy. 

Somehow  my  heart  failed  me  at  the  last  minute, 
the  duty  was  such  an  ungrateful  one,  and  I  rowed 
back  to  the  Castle  without  telling  him  what  I 
thought  —  that  his  suit  was  hopeless. 

Sometimes  we  are  wise  by  accident,  and 
the  next  day  I  had  good  cause  to  applaud  my 
indecision  about  dashing  his  hopes,  for,  as  I 
was  strolling  leisurely  down  to  the  beach  to 
take  my  daily  row  to  the  Templeton  House, 
I  suddenly  came  across  naughty  little  Vi,  sitting 
under  a  tree  with  her  back  towards  me,  evi- 


134  POLLYS    SCHEME. 

dently  very  much  absorbed  in  something  she 
was  reading. 

Stealing  up  so  quietly  behind  her  —  never  dream- 
ing of  making  any  discovery  —  that  my  approach 
failed  to  arouse  her,  I  looked  over  her  shoulder, 
and  saw  that  she  was  reading  something  that 
looked  like  poetry  written  on  the  blank  pages  of  a 
pocket  diary,  and  it  flashed  upon  me  in  the  mo- 
mentary glance  I  got,  that  the  handwriting  looked 
wonderfully  familiar. 

Catching  sight  of  me  almost  instantly,  she  hur- 
riedly hid  the  papers  from  sight,  and  springing  to 
her  feet,  with  a  flaming  face,  exclaimed  : 

"  How  dare  you  !  " 

"  How  dare  I  what  ? "  I  questioned  coolly, 
noticing  as  I  spoke  that  her  eyes  bore  evidence  of 
recent  tears  ;  "walk  on  the  grass  ?  I  see  no  signs 
up." 

By  this  time  she  had  resumed  her  calmness,  and 
declared  she  took  me  for  a  tramp,  I  came  up  so 
quietly ;  but  I  had  learned  all  I  wanted  to  know,  so 
with  a  laughing  injunction  to  "keep  her  eyes  open 
for  other  trespassers,"  I  hastened  to  where  my 
boat  was  moored,  and  springing  into  it,  pulled  for 
the  Templeton  House  in  as  lively  fashion  as  though 


POLLY    TAKES    A    PLEASURE    DRIVE.  135 

I  were  the  stroke-oar  of  a  university  crew,  calling 
on  his  men  for  a  final  spurt  at  the  finish. 

Before  Burr  could  open  his  mouth  to  say  a  word, 
I  grabbed  him  by  the  shoulders  and  almost  shouted 
in  his  ear  : 

"  Did  you  ever  write  any  poetry  for  Vi?  " 

"  Why,  yes  ;  a  piece  called — " 

"  On  what  kind  of  paper  ?  " 

"The  leaves  of  a  diary  which — " 

"  Pinkish  ?  " 

"Yes." 

"  Burr,"  I  said  faintly,  sinking  into  a  chair, 
"  that  romantic,  though  diabolical  Vi  has  wept  it 
into  pulp  ;  and  if  you  ever  give  up  the  chase  after 
that  encouraging  symptom,  I,  for  one,  shall  disown 
you  forever." 

Burr  paled  for  a  moment ;  then  the  color  suffused 
his  face  : 

"  Brooksy,"  he  said  huskily,  "  the  whole  thing ! 
Don't  leave  out  a  word !  That's  a  good  fellow  !  " 

Leave  out  a  word  !  Was  it  likely,  after  waiting 
all  this  time  to  have  one  to  tell  ? 

I  painted  her  surprise  and  indignation  at  being 
discovered  in  her  weakness.  I  expatiated  over  her 
blushes ;  and  when  I  came  to  those  tear-traces  in 


136  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

her  eyes,  I  flatter  myself  that  a  poet  couldn't  have 
clone  the  subject  more  justice  than  I  did.  In  fact, 
I  got  Burr  so  worked  up  over  my  descriptions  that 
he  wanted  to  get  into  the  boat  then  and  there  and 
row  home  with  me,  swearing  he  couldn't  stand 
being  away  any  longer.  I  persuaded  him  against 
this  course,  however,  as  indiscreet ;  showed  him 
that  the  field  was  by  no  means  won  because  the 
outworks  were  taken,  and  pointed  out  the  fact  that 
Vi  might  be  frightened  back  again  to  her  burrow, 
if  she  learned  that  a  ruse  had  been  perpetrated  to. 
make  her  yield.  He  consented  finally  to  defer  his 
return  until  Saturday,  as  originally  planned,  and 
then  make  a  pretense  of  having  come  direct  from 
the  city. 

Till  then  I  bade  him  adieu,  and  left  him  alone  in 
his  new-found  glory,  for  it  hardly  seemed  worth 
while  for  me  to  row  over  on  the  one  remaining 
day  of  his  absence,  unless,  of  course,  something 
particular  should  occur. 

Something  did  occur,  sure  enough,  but  alas !  it 
was  not  through  me  that  Burr  received  notification 
of  it. 

The  next  morning,  Mrs.  B.  and  Vi  announced 
their  intention  of  taking  a  carriage-drive,  and  asked 


POLLY    TAKES    A    PLEASURE    DRIVE.  1 37 

me  to  accompany  them,  which  I  was  very  glad  to 
do  —  though  as  a  rule  I  despise  riding  —  for  I  was 
lonely  in  Burr's  absence,  and  didn't  know  how  to 
kill  the  time  while  waiting  for  the  grand  culmina- 
tion. 

A  finer  day  for  a  drive  could  not  have  been 
selected,  and  I  lay  back  on  the  easy  cushions,  tak- 
ing it  comfortably,  and  inwardly  chuckling  at  the 
dramatic  situations  which  a  day  would  bring  forth. 

I  was  so  tickled  by  my  own  fancies  that  I  even 
endured  patiently  the  long  stops  made  by  ^the 
ladies  over  their  shopping,  when  I  suddenly 
became  painfully  aware  "that  sufficient  for  the 
day  is  the  evil  thereof,"  by  hearing  Mrs.  B.  say  to 
Vi: 

"  What  do  you  say  to  calling  on  the  Pembrooks, 
dear  ?  They  live  at  the  Templeton  House,  only  a 
short  drive  down  the  coast,  and  the  view  is  lovely 
all  the  way." 

"  Why,  I  don't  think  we  could  do  better,  Polly. 
We  owe  them  a  call,  and  I  know  Sally  Pem- 
brook'll  be  awfully  glad  to  see  «s." 

And  before  I  could  recover  my  breath  sufficiently 
to  offer  a  wor4  of  protest,  the  coachman  had  been 
spoken  to,  and  our  direction  changed  towards 


138  'POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

the  asylum  which  temporarily  sheltered  the  arch- 
conspirator,  Wilbur  Curtis,  Esq. 

As  all  the  possibilities  and  probabilities  which 
might  result  from  this  terrible  catastrophe 
presented  themselves  one  after  another  to  my 
mind,  I  alternately  cursed  the  Pembrooks'  exist- 
ence and  my  own  stupidity  in  not  having  foreseen 
that  the  Templeton  was  far  too  near  the  Citadel 
for  our  operations  to  be  carried  on  there  with 
safety  to  the  enterprise. 

So  completely  was  I  taken  by  surprise  at  the 
suddenness  of  the  danger,  that  for  a  while  I  simply 
sat  and  stared  blankly  at  nothing ;  then  I  cleared 
the  decks  for  action. 

"My  dear,"  I  ventured,  "you  know  how  I 
detest  visiting.  Couldn't  you  postpone  your  call 
on  the  Pembrooks  until  another  day  when  I  am 
not  with  you  ?  There's  a  splendid  game  of  lawn 
tennis  on  for  this  afternoon  at  the  Athletic 
Grounds,  and  I  know  you  and  Vi  will  enjoy  it 
intensely." 

"My  good  sir,"  responded  Mrs.  B.  archly,  "one 
of  the  penalties  you  have  to  pay  when  you  go  out 
driving  with  ladies,  is  submission  to  their  freaks ; 
you  know  visiting  is  not  half  as  detestable  to  you 


POLLY   TAKES    A    PLEASURE    DRIVE.  139 

as  shopping ;  besides,  you  can  spend  your  time  in 
the  bowling  alley,  if  you  don't  feel  disposed  to 
come  up-stairs." 

"  Fooled  again,"  said  I  to  myself,  beginning  to 
feel  unpleasantly  like  the  villian  of  the  play. 

"Good  heavens!"  I  exclaimed,  suddenly  rising 
to  my  feet  as  I  spoke,  "  didn't  I  hear  there  was  a 
case  of  small-pox  at  the  Templeton,  driver?" 
digging  my  fist  into  his  side,  and  leaving  a  dollar 
bill  beside  him  on  the  seat. 

He  was  an  Irishman,  and  quick-witted,  and  he 
probably  thought  at  the  least,  that  I  had  a  surrep- 
titious sweetheart  at  the  hotel,  for  he  turned 
promptly  around  and  answered  : 

"Yis,  sir;  she  died  this  morning,  and  they 
haven't  removed  the  body  yit,  sir." 

That  settles  it,  I  thought  triumphantly.  For  I 
knew  Mrs.  B.'s  horror  of  that  dread  disease,  and 
didn't  dream  for  a  moment  she  would  venture  where 
there  was  danger  of  contagion. 

To  my  great  astonishment,  however,  she 
never  quailed ;  and  when  I  protested,  simply 
answered : 

"  Oh !  we  have  all  been  vaccinated  lately,  and 
there  can't  be  much  danger ;  so  that  unless  you  are 


140  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

afraid,  Vi,"  ("  Oh  no!  "  came  the  response)  "why, 
we'll  go  just  the  same." 

"  But  our  child,  our  baby  !  "  I  faltered  patheti- 
cally. "  Are  we  warranted  in  running  any 
risks?" 

"  Doctor  Cock  says  he  never  saw  a  child's  vacci- 
nation take  so  well,  and  that  he'd  be  safe  in  a 
small-pox  hospital." 

After  this  I  gave  up  the  contest,  for  it  began  to 
dawn  upon  me  that  there  was  "method  in  their 
madness,"  and  putting  my  trust  in  the  chapter  of 
accidents,  I  hoped  for  the  best,  and  gave  myself  up 
to  the  inevitable. 

"  He  gave  a  sickly  sort  of  smile  and  curled  up  on  the  floor, 
And  the  subsequent  proceedings  interested  him  no  more." 

As  luck  would  have  it,  Burr  must  needs  be 
sitting  on  the  piazza,  with  his  back  to  us,  when  we 
drove  up  to  the  hotel,  and  before  I  could  rush 
forward  and  give  him  warning  of  what  was  coming, 
Vi  was  standing  smiling,  before  him,  holding  out 
her  hand  in  the  calmest  way  imaginable,  and  say- 
ing in  a  perfectly  natural  voice  : 

"  Why,  how  do  you  do,  Mr.  Curtis  ?  what  a  sur- 
prise to  find  you  here  !  Why  haven't  you  given 
us  a  call,  since  you  are  so  near?  But  I  suppose 


POLLY    TAKES    A    PLEASURE    DRIVE.  14! 

your  time  is  all  engrossed  by  the  '  kindred  soul,' 
who,  I  take  it  for  granted,  is  stopping  at  the  Tem- 
pi eton." 

Wretched  Burr !  If  an  artist  had  been  present, 
he  could  have  utilized  his  face  for  the  picture  of  a 
burglar  breaking  open  a  safe  and  being  detected 
in  the  act. 

The  tables  were  turned  with  a  vengeance.  True, 
the  sudden  re-appearance  had  taken  place,  but  not 
according  to  the  original  lines,  by  any  means  ;  and 
the  roles  had  been  changed  at  the  last  moment 
before  ringing  up  the  curtain. 

By  this  time  it  was  beyond  question  that  we  had 
been  played  with  like  fish  at  the  end  of  a  line,  and 
that  the  Pembrook  visit  was  a  hoax ;  otherwise,  of 
course  Vi  would  never  have  met  Burr  so  calmly  ! 
Besides,  the  persistency  of  Mrs.  B.  and  her  mani- 
fest disbelief  in  the  small-pox  story  all  indicated  a 
pre-arranged  scheme.  Suddenly  the  grave-yard 
conversation  with  all  its  incidents,  including  Vi's 
wanderings,  came  across  me  like  a  flash,  and  every- 
thing was  as  clear  as  daylight ;  so  that  when  Burr's 
reproachful  eyes  sought  me  out  as  the  cause  of  all 
his  misfortunes  —  and  he  evidently  took  me  for  a 
Judas  —  I  simply  whispered,  "Keep  a  stiff  upper  lip 


142  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

on  the  strength  of  the  poetry ;  and  for  the  rest, 
remember  the  laugh  behind  the  tombstone." 

This  sufficed  to  elucidate  the  mystery  for  him, 
as  it  had  for  me,  and  rendered  further  explana- 
tion unnecessary.  Inquiry  revealed  the  fact  that 
Mrs.  B.  was  in  error  about  the  Pembrooks  who 
were  stopping  at  the  Templeton. 

I  urged  Burr  to  return  with  us,  that  is  —  still 
keeping  up  the  pretense  — if  his  visit  to  his  friends 
was  concluded.  At  first  he  demurred  and  pleaded 
engagements  in  the  city,  but  finally  gave  in,  and 
the  four  of  us  returned  to  the  Castle  together. 

"  Do  you  think  there  is  any  danger  of  your 
infecting  us  with  small-pox,  Mr.  Curtis  ? "  asked 
Vi  as  the  carriage  started. 

"  Small-pox ! "  answered  Burr  vaguely.  "  There's 
no  small-pox  where  I've  been." 

"  Indeed,"  laughed  Vi  roguishly ;  "  Brooksy  heard 
they  had  it  bad  at  the  Templeton." 

"Vi,"  said  I,  looking  her  straight  in  the  eyes, 
"  are  you  fond  of  poetry  ? "  and  Viola  Reefer  sank 
back  blushingly  on  the  cushions,  and  gave  up  the 
contest  of  wits. 

From  the  day  and  hour  of  that  fiasco,  Burr 
changed  his  tactics  completely ;  he  more  than 


POLLY    TAKES    A    PLEASURE    DRIVE.  143 

matched  Vi  for  indifference,  and  apparently  resum- 
ing his  old-time  flow  of  spirits,  again  became  the 
life  of  the  house.  This  change  was  hailed  with 
delight  by  every  one  save  Vi,  who,  for  some  reason 
or  other,  seemed  to  look  upon  the  "  doleful  dumps" 
as  a  state  of  being  eminently  proper  for  him  to 
maintain,  and  didn't  exactly  relish  the  change. 

Burr  never  mentioned  our  dismal  failure  at  the 
Templeton  House,  but  it  was  very  apparent  that 
Vi's  clever  counterplot  was  a  thorn  in  the  side  to 
him,  and  would  not  soon  be  forgotten. 

Rowing-parties,  clam-bakes  and  a  hundred  other 
diversions  followed  each  other  so  rapidly  at  this 
period,  that  before  we  knew  where  we  were,  the 
summer  was  almost  over, 


CHAPTER  X. 

THE    REVERSE    OF    THE    MEDAL. 

COME,  take  a  walk  with  me,  Vi  ;  this  is  the 
third  time  I've  asked  you  in  as  many  days, 
and  if  you  refuse  much  longer,  I  shall  begin  to 
believe  you're  conceited  enough  to  fancy  I  shall 
fall  in  love  with  you  if  vouchsafed  more  than  a 
modicum  of  your  society." 

Could  this  be  Burr  Curtis,  the  late  devoted 
swain  who  for  love  of  her  bright  eyes  was  griev- 
ing himself  into  a  walking  picture  of  woe  ;  the 
strategist,  forever  plotting  for  a  return  to  her  good 
graces ;  the  meek,  the  humble  supplicant  of  yes- 
terday, transformed  into  this  impertinent,  this 
coolly  indifferent  individual  of  to-day? 

Evidently  Vi  couldn't  believe  her  senses,  or  was 
too  dazed  to  gather  them  together,  for  she  started 
off  with  him  as  meek  as  a  fawn,  and,  for  a  wonder, 
failed  even  to  find  an  apt  quotation  from  the 
familiar  letter  with  which  to  wither  him  in  his 

'44 


THE    REVERSE    OF    THE    MEDAL.  145 

presumption  I  am  told  you  can  twitch  stray 
hairs  from  a  tame  lion's  mane,  but  there  is  a 
limit  to  the  diversion  ;  so  it  was  with  Burr. 
While  he  loved  Vi  as  devotedly  as  ever,  and 
resolved  to  make  it  the  business  of  his  life  to  win 
her  — knowing  full  well  that  the  making  or  marring 
of  his  life  depended  upon  his  success  —  the  spirit 
of  manhood  within  him  revolted  against  any  more 
concessions  to  weakness  ;  and  whatever  his  inward 
reflections,  he  was  outwardly  as  cool  as  though 
he  had  nothing  whatever  to  ask  at  Fortune's  hands. 

This  new  flight  of  what  Vi  had  grown  to  look 
upon  as  her  own  special  quarry,  did  not  chime  with 
her  fancy  at  all  (what  woman  yet  ever  viewed  the 
loss  of  a  slave  with  equanimity  ?) ;  but  she  saw  no 
way  of  bringing  him  back  to  earth  without  draw- 
ing in  her  own  kite  of  pride,  and  that  she  couldn't 
bring  herself  to  do. 

It  was  clear  that  his  newly  acquired  hardihood 
must  be  snubbed  at  once,  but  how  to  snub  it 
without  at  the  same  time  letting  it  transpire  that 
she  did  have  a  feeling  over  it,  was  an  enigma  too 
deep  for  even  her  clever  little  brain  to  solve.  So 
Burr  had  the  best  of  it ;  but  such  a  sorry  best,  that 
I  am  very  certain  he  would  cheerfully  have 


146  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

exchanged  it  for  the  mutual  understanding  that 
existed  before  that  unlucky  affair  at  the  pavilion, 
and  its  unfortunate  sequel  turned  all  his  newly- 
baked  bread  into  dough. 

Such  was  the  state  of  affairs  existing  between 
the  lovers,  when,  one  afternoon  while  we  were  all 
out  on  the  lawn-tennis  ground,  some  playing,  and 
others  lying  in  the  hammocks  watching  the  sport, 
Dolly  Martin  said  suddenly  : 

"Why,  wouldn't  it  be  a  good  idea  —  " 

"It  would,"  said  Burr  gravely,  going  through 
the  manuel  of  arms  with  his  racquet. 

"Pshaw  !  do  give  me  a  chance  to  finish  !  Why 
wouldn't  it  be  a  good  idea,  I  mean,  to  give  a  lawn- 
tennis  party  next  Saturday  afternoon,  and  have 
dancing  in  the  evening.  We  know  lots  of  nice 
people  who  are  spending  the  summer  in  the  neigh- 
borhood, and  we  could  have  a  magnificent  time." 

"  That's  so,"  echoed  Mabel  Irving  languidly 
from  her  hammock. 

"Say,"  shouted  Burr.  "  You'd  better  hurry  up ; 
Dolly  Martin  has  an  idea  on  exhibition.  Admis- 
sion free." 

That  was  enough.  If  one  of  the  party  had  an 
idea,  the  rest  were  always  ready  to  hear  it ;  so 


THE    REVERSE    OF    THE    MEDAL.  147 

dropping  their  game,  the  players  gathered  around 
to  listen. 

As  usual,  anything  in  the  pleasure  line  was 
greedily  devoured,  and  Dolly  felt  herself  quite  a 
heroine  when  she  found  how  eagerly  we  received 
her  suggestion. 

To  the  afternoon  part  of  the  programme  was 
added,  by  way  of  originality,  a  ladies'  rope-skip- 
ping match,  the  nimblest  and  most  graceful 
skipper  to  receive  the  "  Maple  Grove  medal," 
which  she  must  stand  ready  to  defend  against  all 
comers  for  the  period  of  one  week  ;  while  for  the 
sterner  sex  a  half-mile  run  was  provided,  the  win- 
ner to  be  entitled  to  the  proud  distinction  of 
selecting  the  Queen  of  Love  and  Beauty  to  pre- 
side over  the  evening  revels. 

Our  plan  once  concocted  it  did   not  take  long 
for   the  preliminaries  to  be  arranged,  and  invita- 
tions were  duly  engraved  and   sent  forth.    They 
read  as  follows : 
THE  MAPLE  GROVE  CO-OPERATIVE  ASSOCIATION 

REQUEST  THE  PLEASURE  OF  YOUR   COMPANY  AT  AN 

AFTERNOON  LAWN  TENNIS  PARTY, 

TO   BE  GIVEN   ON   THE   GROUNDS  OF  THE   CASTLE,    SATURDAY, 
AUGUST   TENTH,   AT   TWO   P.    M. 

DANCING    IN    THE   EVENING. 
R.  S.  V.  P.  MAPLE  GROVE  CASTLK. 


148  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

Acceptances  were  general — too  general,  in  fact. 
We  had  so  many  petitions  to  allow  invitations 
to  cover  visiting  friends,  that  we  suffered  from 
fcmbarras  dcs  richesses,  and  were  finally  compelled 
to  plead  the  lack  of  room  to  accommodate  more. 

Such  extensive  preparations  as  went  on  that 
week  ! 

Such  awful  secretiveness  as  was  maintained 
among  the  ladies,  both  with  each  other  and  with  us, 
as  to  what  they  were  going  to  wear  on  that  moment- 
ous occasion !  Mrs.  B.  and  Vi  were  cooperating 
evidently  in  their  dress-making  ideas,  for  they 
would  lock  themselves  up  together  in  a  room,  and 
no  amount  of  urging  could  induce  them  to  open 
the  door. 

The  temptation  to  train  a  little  for  the  rope  skip- 
ping and  running  was  strong  upon  us,  but  as  they 
were  not  alluded  to  in  the  invitations,  it  was 
agreed  that  it  would  not  be  fair  to  take  any  undue 
advantage  over  our  guests ;  so  we  religiously 
refrained  from  indulging  our  desires. 

"  Everything  comes  to  him  who  will  but  wait," 
is  an  aphorism  whose  truthfulness  I  have  full  faith 
in,  provided  always  the  "waiting  "  is  not  limited  to 
the  narrow  confines  of  human  existence,  but  is 


THE  REVERSE  OF  THE  MEDAL.        149 

carried  forward  into  immortality.  In  the  case  of 
the  garden  party,  however,  this  extended  range 
of  time  was  not  called  for,  and  in  due  course  of 
events  the  sun  arose,  and  ushered  in  the  appointed 
day. 

As  adults,  we  know  of  course  that  the  sun  rises 
every  day;  but  as  children,  we  are  unbelievers,  and 
unwilling  to  admit  the  fact  when  the  sky  is  too 
overcast  with  clouds  to  permit  of  optical  proof,  and 
the  rain  interferes  with  some  promised  pleasure : 
this  would,  I  fear,  have  been  our  case  had  the  ele- 
ments shown  themselves  unpropitious  that  morn- 
ing. We  were  not  put  to  the  test,  however,  for 
nature  very  kindly  adapted  herself  to  our  require- 
ments, and  from  horizon  to  horizon  stretched  one 
glorious  arch  of  heaven's  blue. 

Such  a  tempest  in  a  tea-pot  as  the  ladies  fanned 
up  that  morning ! 

Poor  Mary  Cecilia  was  kept  busy  running  from 
one  room  to  another  as  broker  in  those  final 
exchanges  which  always  occur  over  the  finishing 
touches  of  a  toilet  when  several  of  the  sex  are 
gathered  together  under  one  roof. 

It  was  "  Polly,  have  you  any  large  hair-pins?"  or, 
"  Mabel,  lend  me  a  coarse  needle ; "  and,  "  Say,  girls, 


I5O  POLLYS    SCHEME. 

who'll  give  a  piece  of  court-plaster  ? "  and  so  on 
ad  infinitum,  resounding  from  room  to  room 
through  half-open  doors  which  concealed  the  in- 
sufficiently-clad owners  of  the  voices,  until  Burr 
and  I  thanked  the  propitious  stars  which  had  des- 
tined us  to  wear  pants  instead  of  petticoats. 

Twelve-o'clock  lunch,  however,  brought  forth 
such  a  galaxy  of  charmers  that  we  were  obliged  to 
own  with  the  Jesuits,  "  that  the  end  justifies  the 
means." 

As  they  gathered  around  the  table  in  their  many- 
hued  dresses,  the  effect  was  really  artistic,  and  by 
great  good  fortune  no  one  killed  her  neighbor — a 
somewhat  ghastly  figure  of  speech  in  vogue  among 
ladies  to  indicate  one  color  throwing  another  into 
the  shade. 

At  half  past  one  the  guests  began  to  arrive,  and 
from  that  hour  on  they  kept  coming  and  coming, 
until  it  really  seemed  as  though  "  standing-room 
only  "  would  soon  be  the  order  of  the  day. 

This  onslaught  served  to  bring  out  another 
beauty  of  the  cooperative  plan  ;  for,  whereas  there 
are  usually  but  one  host  and  hostess,  we  had  a 
bountiful  supply  of  both  commodities,  and  the 
usual  tedious  waits  over  being  received  and  per- 


THE    REVERSE    OF    THE    MEDAL.  151 

mitted  to  enjoy  one's  self  en  regie  were  entirely 
obviated. 

One  of  the  surprises  of  the  day  was  the  entirely 
unexpected  arrival  just  at  the  outset  of  the  festivi- 
ties of  our  old  friends  and  fellow-cooperators,  the 
Hillwigs.  On  their  first  advent  we  had  tried  to 
make  them  stare  and  failed  ;  on  their  second,  we 
made  no  effort  and  succeeded  beyond  everything ; 
for  they  had  returned  from  the  mountains  suddenly 
and  so  missed  our  letters  and  knew  nothing  of  the 
fete.  They  were  on  their  way  to  Saratoga,  but 
could  not  resist  the  opportunity  of  spending  a  few 
days  with  us.  We  made  them  heartily  welcome, 
and  they  were  soon  enjoying  themselves  with  the 
rest. 

Several  exciting  games  of  lawn  tennis  were 
played,  in  which  V£  and  Burr  covered  themselves 
with  distinction  ;  and  when  this  sport  began  to 
pall  upon  players,  and  spectators,  I  obtained  silence 
and  announced  the  nature  of  the  contests  which 
were  to  follow,,  at  the  same  time  assuring  our 
friends;  that  we  were  all  on  an  equal  footing,  as  no 
practising  had  been  permitted.  Whereupon  Burr 
covered  me  with  confusion  by  rising  to  a  point  of 
order  and  desiring  information  as  to  how  we  could 


I$2  POLLY  S    SCHEME;  : 

all  be  on  an  equal  footing  unless  we  all  wore  the 
same-sized  shoe,  which  it  was  showing  a  lack  of 
respect  to  the  ladies  to  assert. 

Much  laughter  and  applause  followed,  and  about 
twenty  young  ladies  blushingly  volunteered  for  the 
skipping-rope  contest. 

Judges  were  appointed — one  lady  and  two  gen- 
tlemen—  and  the  novel  spectacle  of  full-fledged 
society  girls  returning  to  the  sports  of  childhood, 
began. 

Such  laughing  and  clapping  of  hands  as  followed 
the  motions  of  the  fair  contestants  as  they  made 
their  essay — some  boldly,  some  shyly  —  it  was 
good  to  hear. 

One  old  gentleman,  the  patriarch  of  the  party, 
and  a  county  judge  at  that,  nearly  laughed  him- 
self into  apoplexy,  and  had  to  be  thumped  on  the 
back  by  Burr  who  was  next  him,  which,  the  old 
gentleman  said,  was  a  pretty  hard  hit  at  the  bench 
from  the  bar,  which  joke  on  Burr's  profession  was 
highly  relished. 

Vi  was  the  last  contestant  to  step  up,  and  as  one 
of  her  predecessors,  a  pretty  little  blonde,  had 
scored  a  hundred  and  nineteen  before  making  a 
break,  and  done  it  very  gracefully  too,  it  was 


THE    REVERSE    OF    THE    MEDAL.  153 

hardly  thought  possible  she  could  win  the  palm. 
When,  however,  she  had  scored  a  hundred  points, 
showing,  too,  more  grace  of  motion  than  her  rival, 
the  excitement  became  intense,  and  perfect  silence 
reigned  until  she  tallied  a  hundred  and  twenty, 
when  such  a  perfect  ovation  of  clapping  and  cheers 
greeted  her  rosy  little  ears,  that  she  fairly  ran  out 
of  the  circle  in  dismay.  She  was  speedily  recalled, 
however,  to  receive  the  gold  medal,  which  bore  the 
inscription,  "  For  a  good  girl,"  and  was  presented 
by  the  old  Judge,  who  made  a  witty  address  of 
presentation  and  finished  up  by  trusting  she  would 
always  try  to  be  an  example  to  her  little  school- 
mates and  not  show  too  much  fondness  for  the 
boys. 

By  winning  the  medal  in  addition  to  lustre 
already  conferred  by  skill  at  tennis,  Vi  had  ren- 
dered herself  quite  a  heroine,  and  was  constantly 
the  centre  of  a  revolving  circle  of  admiring  youths. 
Especially  had  she  endeared  herself  to  the  mem- 
bers of  the  local  Athletic  Club,  one  of  whom 
declared  enthusiastically  that  she  was  a  thorough- 
bred, and  ought  to  be  a  fellow.  Though  Burr  took 
an  occasional  vicious  bite  at  his  moustache  when 
no  one  was  looking,  he  was  to  all  appearances 


154  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

perfectly  indifferent  to  the  furor  she  was  creating, 
and  made  himself  as  great  a  favorite  with  the  fair 
sex,  as  she  was  with  the  other. 

Occasionally  Vi's  eyes  followed  his  motions,  and 
I  thought  I  detected  a  thoughtful  look  in  their 
gray,  fathomless  depths,  not  unmixed  with  regret. 

Volunteers  for  the  second  great  event  of  the 
day,  the  half-mile  run,  were  now  called  up,  and  so 
many  aspirants  presented  themselves  that  it  became 
necessary  to  institute  preliminary  heats  of  a  hun- 
dred yards  each,  to  determine  who  should  be  enti- 
tled to  run  in  the  final  competition. 

The  winners,  five  in  number,  including  Burr 
whom  I  knew  to  be  a  good  runner,  and  Johnny 
Mott,  champion  of  the  local  Athletic  Club,  finally 
toed  the  line,  and  at  a  given  signal  started  off 
together. 

Burr  and  Mott  fell  quickly  in  the  rear  and 
allowed  the  other  three  an  opportunity  to  waste 
their  breath  and  tire  their  muscles  before  the  real 
struggle  began,  seeing  which,  and  not  being  famil- 
iar with  the  wiles  of  athletes,  many  of  the  ladies 
thought  they  were  out  of  the  game,  and  expressed 
unmeasured  sympathy.  Discretion,  as  usual,  how- 
ever, proved  the  better  part  of  valor ;  for  by  the 


THE    REVERSE    OF    THE    MEDAL.  155 

time  the  quarter  had  been  covered,  two  out  of  the 
original  five  had  fallen  by  the  wayside,  and  Mott 
was  in  the  lead  closely  waited  on  by  Burr,  while 
the  third  man  was  trailing  hopelessly  in  the  rear, 
and  at  the  end  of  another  hundred  yards,  gave  up 
the  contest  winded.  Then  began  the  struggle  in 
solemn,  sober  earnest,  and  cries  of  "  Go  it,  Burr !  " 
"Well  done,  Mott ! "  were  heard  from  all  sides  as 
those  two  pounded  over  the  course. 

Our  guests,  as  was  natural,  were  generally 
anxious  to  see  Mott  win,  especially  the  members 
of  his  club,  while  the  cooperators  would  willingly 
have  emptied  their  pocket-books  to  feel  certain 
that  Burr  would  cross  that  line  ahead. 

Knit  by  a  bond  of  common  sympathy,  we  in- 
stinctively drew  close  together,  and  answered  the 
cries  of  the  Mott  party  with  yells  of  "  Good  boy, 
Burr!"  "  For  the  Castle !"  "Run  him  to  earth, 
you  darling!  "and  others  of  a  like  enthusiastic 
nature.  A  hundred  yards  to  run,  and  Burr  five 
feet  behind !  It  was  enough  to  make  one  weep. 

"  Mott ! "  "  Burr  ! "  "  Mott  wins ! "  "  He  doesn't ! " 
Such  were  the  cries  that  rang  out,  and  only  fifty 
yards  left  to  decide  the  race. 

"By    Jove,    it's    soft!"-  cried   an    enthusiastic 


156  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

admirer  of  Mott,  throwing  up  his  hat  in  a  frenzy 
of  exultation. 
"Was  it?" 

As  they  neared  the  line,  Burr's  mainspring 
seemed  to  burst  with  a  whiz,  for  with  one  magnifi- 
cent bound  he  rushed  by  Mott  as  though  he  had 
been  an  anchored  buoy,  and  in  another  second  was 
in  our  arms,  the  winner  of  the  prettiest  race  I  ever 
saw. 

"  How  is  that  for  soft  ?  "  I  yelled  at  the  dejected 
friend  of  the  vanquished,  as  we  —  Hillwig,  Irving, 
and  I  —  picked  Burr  up  bodily,  and  carried  him 
around  the  circle  where  his  victory  had  been  won, 
while  cheer  after  cheer  followed  our  triumphal 
march.  Vi  winner  of  one  contest,  Burr  of  the 
other  ! 

Verily  the  hosts  of  cooperation  were  strong. 
By  this  time  the  cravings  of  appetite  asserted 
themselves  very  pronouncedly,  and  every  one  wel- 
comed the  cold  collation  which  was  spread  on  the 
lawn,  the  better  to  maintain  the  picnic  nature  of 
the  day. 

When  the  viands  were  put  into  circulation,  and 
our  inward  gnawings  satisfied,  toasts  were  in  order, 
and  Burr,  springing  tb  his  feet,  proposed  "  Our 


THE    REVERSE    OF    THE    MEDAL.  157 

Guests,"  calling  on  Mr.  Horton,  the  owner  of  the 
place,  to  respond,  which  he  did  very  gracefully. 

The  "cooperative  society,"  "the  winners  of  the 
day's  contests,"  and  other  toasts  succeeded,  but 
the  crowning  oration  of  the  occasion  was  old 
Judge  Farnham's  response  to  the  "Bench  and 
Bar." 

Such  a  witty  old  gentleman  surely  never  graced 
a  young  folks'  party  before  ! 

He  began  by  remarking  that  this  was  the  first 
time  he  had  appeared  before  a  respectable  audience, 
as  he  was  usually  called  upon  to  address  lawyers 
and  other  criminals,  and  he  felt  strangely  out  of 
place.  He  went  on  to  say  that  he  was  sorry  he 
could  not  put  in  a  good  word  for  the  bench,  but 
that  really  it  had  proven  so  hard  and  unyielding  as 
to  interfere  materially  with  his  enjoyment  of  the 
good  things  spread  before  him;  though  perhaps 
the  gentleman  who  proposed  the  toast,  who  was 
noted  for  his  success  with  the  fair,  had  succeeded 
in  getting  on  the  soft  side  of  it.  As  for  the  bar,  it 
was  stocked  entirely  to  his  taste  ;  but  the  bench 
certainly  ought  to  be  sat  upon. 

In  fact,  he  opened  such  a  budget  of  good  things 
that  we  felt  tempted  to  treat  him  as  we  had  Burr, 


158  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

and  hoist  him  on  our  shoulder ;  nothing  but  his 
magisterial  dignity  saved  him  from  this  ceremony. 
Eating  and  toasting  consumed  so  much  time  that, 
greatly  to  the  surprise  of  every  one,  a  temporary 
lull  in  the  conversation  revealed  the  astonishing 
fact  that  the  sun  had  started  off  for  China,  and 
twilight  was  stealing  on  apace. 

This  necessitated  an  adjournment  to  the  house 
and  a  change  in  the  day's  programme. 

Before  anything  else  could  be  legitimately 
attempted,  however,  it  was  necessary  that  the 
coronation  of  a  queen  should  occur,  and  as  Burr 
had  by  his  feats  in  the  turney  won  the  proud  dis- 
tinction both  of  crowning  and  selecting  the  one  to 
be  crowned,  all  eyes  were  turned  towards  him  in 
eager  expectancy. 

As  sqon  as  the  company  were  seated,  I  advanced 
to  Burr,  and  handing  him  a  silk  cushion  and  a 
glove-box  full  of  glass  jewelry  supposed  to  repre- 
sent the  regalia  of  •  the  realm,  delivered  this  pite- 
ously  weak  imitation  of  heraldic  lore  : 

"  Sir  knight,  by  ye  doughty  feats  of  chivalree 
performed  in  ye  lists  of  Maple  Grove  this  day  in 
ye  presence  of  ye  goodly  compagnie  here  assem- 
bled, ye  have  right  well  earned  ye  right,  I,  herald 


THE    REVERSE    OF    THE    MEDAL.  159 

of  ye  tourney,  now  confer,  videlicet :  to  select,  nom- 
inate and  appoint  ye  Queen  of  Love  and  Beauty, 
to  whom  these  other  knights,  vanquished,  but  not 
dishonored,  are  pledged  to  bend  ye  knee  and  ren- 
der fealty.  And  may  Venus  aid  ye  choice." 

I  wonder  how  many  of  the  fair  sirens  who  sat 
there  in  that  circle  with  such  external  indifference 
written  on  their  faces,  throbbed  with  expectation 
of  the  coming  honor. 

Fairest  of  all  in  that  bouquet  of  lovely  maidens, 
sat  our  deep-eyed  Vi ;  surely  if  ever  a  Queen  of 
Love  and  Beauty  smiled  on  mortal  man,  she  ful- 
filled the  requirements. 

Would  he  select  her  ? 

I  thought  so,  and  I  think  that  Vi,  though  she 
showed  it  not  a  whit,  half  shared  my  belief,  and 
hoped  it  might  be  true ;  not  for  the  honor,  but  the 
feeling.  Except  to  congratulate  each  other  on 
their  victories,  they  had  hardly  spoken  during  the 
day,  and  the  barriers  of  pride  were  towering  so 
high  between  them,  that  it  seemed  as  though  they 
could  never  be  levelled.  Here  was  a  chance  at 
propitiation:  surely  he  would  never  let  it  pass 
neglected  by. 

Burr  stood  in  the  middle  of  the  room,  mean- 


160  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

while,  looking  around  him,  and  for  a  moment  he 
seemed  to  hesitate ;  then  advancing  slowly  in  the 
direction  of  Vi,  he  dropped  the  silken  cushion  at 
the  feet  of  the  young  lady  who  sat  beside  her,  and 
kneeling  gracefully  upon  it,  placed  the  crown  upon 
her  head  inclined  to  receive  it,  saying  as  he  did 
so  : 

"  Lovely  lady,  permit  your  humble  courtier  to 
place  the  crown  where  it  so  fittingly  belongs,  and 
to  be  the  first  to  do  you  reverence." 

Then  with  inimitable  grace  he  kissed  her  hand, 
placed  the  regalia  on  her  lap  and  rose  to  his  feet, 
while  some  twenty  members  of  the  sex  felt  they 
had  been  cheated  out  of  their  due. 

Of  course  the  usual  amount  of  applause  fol- 
lowed, and  all  hastened  to  do  homage  to  the  newly- 
crowned  queen ;  but  for  me,  the  proceedings  had 
lost  their  zest  —  I  so  fondly  hoped  for  a  different 
consummation  —  and  Vi's  lovely  cheek  lost  its 
color  for  a  second,  though  she  speedily  recovered 
herself  and  for  the  rest  of  the  evening  seemed  to 
bubble  over  with  gayety  like  a  fountain  ;  but  in 
my  eyes  it  looked  more  like  a  feverish  craving  for 
excitement  than  a  genuine  flow  of  spirits. 

The  evening  went  off  in  all  respects  as  success- 


THE    REVERSE    OF    THE    MEDAL.  l6l 

fully  as  the  day  had,  and  when  the  assemblage 
finally  broke  up  at  a  late  hour,  our  guests  in  thank- 
ing us  for  the  good  time  enjoyed,  laughingly  said 
that  if  cooperation  produced  such  good  results, 
they  would  like  to  become  cooperators. 

"  That  was  my  idea,"  yawned  Dolly  Martin  as 
we  started  for  bed. 

"  Yes,"  answered  Mabel,  who  had  danced  inces- 
santly throughout  the  evening,  not  to  mention 
spending  the  entire  afternoon  on  her  feet,  "and 
we  had  a  splendid  time,  but  I  feel  so  faint !  " 


CHAPTER   XI. 

AN    UNDESIRABLE    CONQUEST. 

HOW  utterly  lacking  in  common  sense  are  half 
the  freaks  young  people  take  it  into  their 
heads  to  play  during  the  pan-fish  days  of  court- 
ship !  What  grains  of  sand  do  they  not  seize  upon 
to  magnify  into  mountains,  when  a  single  touch  of 
reason's  broom  would  knock  the  entire  cobweb- 
fabric  of  nonsense  into  smithereens. 

From  such  ridiculously  small  beginnings,  too,  do 
their  quarrels  arise,  that,  for  my  part,  I  believe  half 
of  them  are  started  purposely,  with  a  view  to  test- 
ing the  staunchness  of  the  other  party  to  the  con- 
tract, when  — presto  !  the  whiff  becomes  a  breeze, 
the  breeze  a  squall,  the  squall  a  gale,  and  before 
the  erstwhile  loving  couple  can  make  out  from 
what  quarter  the  wind  comes,  their  frail  barks  are 
separated  to  be  forever  parted,  or  again  reunited, 
according  to  circumstances  and  the  star  under 
which  the  navigators  were  born. 

162 


AX    VXDESJRABLE    CONQUEST.  163 

Some  people  maintain  that  to  strive  to  reconcile 
quarrelling  lovers  is  to  fly  directly  in  the  face  of 
Providence  ;  and  that  if  success  attend  your  efforts, 
they  are  bound  to  curse  you  all  the  rest  of  their 
natural  lives  as  a  promoter  of  their  domestic  mis- 
ery. I  do  not  subscribe,  however,  to  the  tenets  of 
the  "  whatever  is,  is  right "  preachers,  and  I  didn't 
hesitate,  therefore,  not  only  to  grieve  over  the 
lamentable  breach  between  Vi  and  Burr,  but  even 
to  do  all  in  my  power  to  fill  it  up. 

All  efforts,  however,  had  proven  unavailing,  and 
even  when  Mrs.  B.  came  over  to  my  side — which 
she  did  eventually — we  were  still  unable  to  im- 
prove matters,  for  both  the  high  contracting  parties 
were  now  at  variance,  and  the  only  thing  to  do,  in 
the  language  of  the  prize  ring,  was  to  make  a  ring 
and  let  them  fight  it  out  for  themselves.  The 
cooperative  plan  was  still  working  smoothly,  and 
we  had  completely  routed  and  put  to  flight  all  our 
friends  who  declared  it  was  impossible  for  us  to 
dwell  together  in  harmony,  for  with  the  exception 
of  the  Thompson  affair  and  the  lovers'  quarrel  — 
which  last  didn't  count  —  we  had  had  no  quarrels  of 
a  serious  nature.  You  are  not  to  understand  by  this 
that  we  had  no  spats  or  disagreements;  these,  of 


164  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

course,  were  bound  to  occur  (what  family  exists 
without  them  ?) ;  but  serious  ruptures  of  the  peace 
were  a  thing  unknown. 

"What  a  curious-looking  genius  that  is!"  said 
Mabel  one  day,  standing  before  a  window  and  look- 
ing down  the  road  toward  the  pavilion. 

"  Yes,"  answered  Burr,  rising  and  following  her 
to  the  window.  "  I  have  been  trying  to  take  that 
fellow's  measure  for  some  time,  and  been  unable  to 
do  so.  Ever  since  yesterday  morning  he  has  been 
wandering  up  and  down  before  the  house  with  that 
Shakespearean  tread  of  his,  and  looking  up  first  at 
one  window  and  then  at  another,  as  if  he  were  an 
architect  who  had  been  employed  to  make  altera- 
tions in  the  house  and  was  deciding  where  to 
begin." 

This  lengthy  description  served  to  arouse  our 
curiosity,  and  we  made  haste  to  join  the  discov- 
erers of  this  new  species  of  biped,  to  determine  for 
ourselves  what  manner  of  beast  he  was.  Sure 
enough,  as  they  said,  there  in  the  middle  of  the 
road,  with  clasped  hands  and  one  foot  extended, 
stood  a  really  singular  specimen  of  humanity. 

He  was  dressed  entirely  in  black,  even  to  his 
necktie,  and  his  clothes  were  in  perfect  keeping 


AX    UNDESIRABLE    CONQUEST.  165 

with  his  countenance,  which  was  melancholy  and 
dejected  in  the  extreme,  and  might  have  served  for 
a  likeness  of  Don  Quixote  de  la  Mancha,  after  one 
of  his  most  lugubrious  adventures.  As  soon  as  I 
stepped  out  on  the  piazza.,  he  drew  himself  up  and 
departed  with  the  slow,  measured  step  of  an 
old-school  tragedian,  and  Burr's  "  Shakespearean  " 
seemed  by  no  means  a  misnomer  for  his  gait. 

"  Perhaps  he  thinks  we  are  going  to  have  private 
theatricals,"  said  Dolly,  "  and  wants  to  be  hired  as 
coach." 

"  Very  likely,"  added  Burr  ;  "  or  perhaps  he's  an 
undertaker  wretched  in  this  salubrious  air;  but  just 
as  a  matter  of  extra  comfort,  I  think  I  would  sleep 
on  the  family  plate,  if  I  were  you,  Brooksy,  till  he 
shows  his  hand  plainer." 

With  that  other  thoughts  distracted  our  atten- 
tion and  the  mysterious  stranger  went  out  of  our 
heads  altogether. 

That  afternoon  as  we  were  all  lounging  around 
after  lunch,  taking  it  easy  and  wondering  what  to 
do  next,  there  suddenly  came  such  a  flash  of  light- 
ning, followed  almost  immediately  by  a  terrific 
clap  of  thunder,  as  I  never  before  experienced  in 
my  life,  and  that,  too,  from  an  almost  perfectly  clear 


1 66  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

sky.  Such  a  shriek  as  went  up  from  the  ladies  ! 
Mabel  fell  on  the  sofa  half-fainting.  Mrs.  B.  made 
a  rush  for  me,  while  Vi  instinctively  called  "Burr! 
Burr  ! "  and  then,  when  he  rushed  to  quiet  her 
fears,  insisted  that  she  never  so  much  as  breathed 
his  name.  Frederick  William  gave  one  lusty  yell 
of  terror,  and  then  said  piteously,  "  I  guess  I'd  bet- 
ter get  under  the  table,  mamma;"  and  suiting  the 
action  to  the  words,  quickly  disappeared  under  the 
dining-room  table,  from  which  Gibraltar  of  safety 
it  was  found  impossible  to  make  him  venture  for 
a  full  half-hour  after. 

Five  minutes  later,  the  heavens  opened  and 
poured  forth  such  a  libation  as  effectually  to  settle 
the  question  of  what  to  do,  in  favor  of  staying  in 
the  house  and  playing  solitaire  —  a  favorite  diver- 
sion of  unpleasant  weather. 

A  foreigner  coming  in  upon  us  when  engaged  in 
this  pastime,  and  seeing  each  one  solemnly  turning 
over  his  or  her  cards,  sepulchral  silence  reigning 
the  while,  might  easily  imagine  we  were  engaged 
over  some  mysterious  religious  rite,  and  depart  on 
reverential  tiptoe. 

All  that  afternoon  and  all  the  evening  it  rained 
unceasingly;  and  even  sitting  on  the  piazza  was 


AN    UNDESIRABLE    CONQUEST.  1 6? 

out  of  the  question.  About  eight  o'clock,  the  bell 
rang  three  times  ;  not  violently,  as  though  a  hasty 
admission  was  sought,  but  slowly  and  methodically, 
and  instinctively  we  all  rose  to  our  feet  in  surprise. 

"The  Shakespearean  for  a  cookey,"  said  Burr; 
at  which  the  ladies  all  fled  precipitately  to  the 
dining-room,  for  we  had  been  discussing  the  mys- 
terious stranger  all  the  evening,  and  they  were  so 
worked  up  that  even  the  idea  of  his  coming  alarmed 
them. 

I  threw  open  the  front  door,  and,  sure  enough, 
Burr's  careless  surmise  proved  correct,  and  in 
strode  the  tragic  individual  in  black  who  had  en- 
gaged our  attention  in  the  morning. 

"  What  do  you  wish  ?  "  I  asked  politely,  for  it 
is  never  well  to  be  too  precipitate,  even  with  such 
a  queer-looking  specimen  as  he  was. 

"  Wish  !  "  exclaimed  he,  tragically  repeating  my 
last  word ;  "  I  have  come,  fair  sirs,  to  claim  the 
hand  of  my  affianced  bride." 

"  She  left  here  yesterday,"  said  Burr,  whose 
quick  wit  led  him  to  perceive  the  nature  of  man 
we  had  to  deal  with,  and  the  policy  of  temporizing 
with  him,  if  possible.  Our  visitor  was  a  mad- 
man. 


1 68  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

"  Ha  !  ha  !  and  thinkest  thou,  then,  with  subter- 
fuge and  lies  to  throw  an  infuriate  lover  off  the 
scent,  thou  base-born  minion  of  a  black-browed 
brood !  Mark  me,  sirs  I  these  hands  have  been  im- 
bued in  purple  blood  ere  this,  and  if  thou  think'st 
me  caitiff  knight,  thou  wrong'st  the  bravest  free- 
lance of  liege  Richard's  court." 

For  a  moment,  spite  of  the  terrible  danger  of 
the  situation,  we  actually  stood  spell-bound  with 
admiration.  Such  acting  would  have  been  a  credit 
even  to  Edwin  Booth. 

"There,  there,"  I  said  soothingly,  "you've  made 
a  mistake,  my  friend.  She  whom  you  seek  has 
left  us  and  gone  to  join  you.  Return  home,  and 
you  will  probably  find  her  there  before  you." 

He  seemed  to  be  listening  attentively  to  my 
words,  and  I  had  strong  hopes  of  getting  rid  of 
him  quietly,  when  he  unfortunately  caught  sight  of 
the  ladies,  who,  in  their  interest  at  what  was  going 
on,  had  indiscreetly  ventured  too  near  the  door, 
and  making  a  spring  at  Dolly,  he  shouted  out : 

"  Base  knave,  thou  liest !  Lo !  Evelyn's  self 
doth  cram  the  lie  down  thy  unhallowed  throat." 

This  ended  all  hope  of  a  peaceful  termination,  and 
we  made  a  simultaneous  bound  and  caught  him 


AN    UNDESIRABLE    CONQUEST.  169 

just  as  he  was  on  the  point  of  seizing  Dolly,  who 
was  too  petrified  with  terror  to  stir. 

Then  ensued  a  terrific  struggle  such  as  I  never 
want  to  see  or  participate  in  again  as  long  as  I 
live.  Our  united  strength  seemed  positive  weak- 
ness in  comparison  with  his  maniacal  fury.  He 
foamed  at  the  mouth,  he  tried  to  bite  us,  and 
dragged  us  from  one  side  of  the  room  to  the  other, 
all  the  time  invoking  the  most  horrible  curses 
upon  us,  while  the  ladies,  paralyzed  into  silence 
with  fright,  stood  watching  the  conflict  breath- 
lessly, and  Mary  Cecilia  was  on  her  knees  in  the 
hall  calling  all  the  saints  in  the  calendar  to  the 
rescue. 

The  centre-table  was  knocked  over,  and  havoc 
created  generally,  until  finally,  just  as  the  infuriated 
maniac  had  seized  a  chair  as  a  weapon,  Irving 
struck  him  a  terrific  blow  between  the  eyes,  which 
sent  him  to  earth,  and  we  all  three  precipitated 
ourselves  upon  him. 

Even  then  he  struggled  lustily ;  but  by  this 
time  the  ladies-  had  recovered  sufficiently  to  attend 
our  call  for  a  clothes-line,  and  we  soon — to  our 
infinite  satisfaction — had  him  bound  hand  and 
foot. 


I/O  POLLYS    SCHEME. 

Fortunately  for  us,  our  unwelcome  visitor  was 
unarmed ;  otherwise,  one  or  more  of  us  would  proba- 
bly have  suffered. 

Sleep  was  effectually  banished  for  the  night, 
though  we  tried  to  persuade  the  ladies  to  seek 
needed  rest  while  we  kept  watch  ;  and  the  first 
thing  in  the  morning,  we  sent  for  the  authorities 
who  took  our  prisoner  off  in  a  cart. 

He  turned  out  subsequently  to  be  a  crazy  actor 
who  had  escaped  from  the  State  asylum,  who, 
while  at  times  quiet  and  tractable,  was  regarded 
when  in  a  frenzy  as  one  of  the  most  dangerous 
inmates  of  that  institution. 

He  had  evidently  rambled  into  our  neighbor- 
hood, seen  Dolly,  and  been  struck  with  an  insane 
fancy  for  her,  with  the  result  I  have  just  de- 
scribed. 

I  shudder,  now,  as  I  chronicle  this  chapter  of  that 
summer's  romance  ;  and  it  was  some  time  before 
we  could  rally  from  its  effects. 

Gradually,  however,  our  horror  of  it  died   out, . 
and  an   advertising   bill    representing  Sothern  as 
the    crushed    tragedian,    and    labelled,    "  Dolly's 
latest,"  was  favorably  received  when  it  appeared 
in   due   course   on    the    bulletin -board,  and  high 


AN    UNDESIRABLE    CONQUEST.  17! 

tragedy  in  conversation  became  for  a  time   quite 
the  rage  with  the  mercurial  Castleites. 

This  adventure  added  considerably  to  the  lively 
interest  which  our  neighbors  seemed  to  take  in  us 
and  our  affairs.  The  Daily  Opinion  came  out  with 
a  somewhat  exaggerated  account  of  the  affair,  in 
which  our  visitor  was  made  to  brandish  a  long 
knife,  while  we  faced  him  with  loaded  revolvers 
and  the  ladies  ran  to  the  village — two  miles — for 
assistance. 

After  that  glowing  description  we  were  in 
mortal  terror  of  figuring  in  the  Police  News.  The 
speculation  we  aroused  in  the  vicinity  that  sum- 
mer, by  the  by,  was  the  cause  of  no  small  amount 
of  discomfort  to  us.  Hearing,  for  example,  that 
we  constituted  some  sort  of  society,  and  not  being 
able  to  ascertain  whether  its  aims  were  benevolent, 
religious,  or  social,  the  natives  took  it  for  granted  we 
were  a  mixture  of  all  four,  and  acted  accordingly. 

Mendicants  came  for  food  and  clothing ;  invalids 
-and  deformed  people  came  for  treatment ;  preachers 
to  officiate  at  hieetings,  until  altogether  it  became 
a  perfect  nuisance.  Then  there  were  others  who 
drove  up  boldly,  and  asked  what  the  society  was 
for,  any  way,  and  what  we  did. 


1/2  POLLYS    SCHEME. 

One  of  these  latter  accosted  Rurr  one  day  with 
the  stereotyped  query,  and  he  answered  quietly  : 

"  Society  for  measuring  worms  ;  don't  you  want 
to  come  in  and  be  measured  ?  " 

We  finally  saved  ourselves  considerable  annoy- 
ance by  putting  up  a  sign  at  the  gate,  which  read  : 

"The  dog  is  not  friendly  with  strangers." 

Certainly,  curiosity  is  one  of  the  cardinal  vices  of 
humanity,  and  it  does  not  require  a  very  violent 
effort  of  the  imagination  to  understand  the  harrow- 
ing torture  to  which  poor  Eve  was  a  prey,  when 
told  she  must  not  sample  the  flavor  of  that  famous 
apple. 

As  a  result  of  the  tennis  party,  we  were  favored 
with  many  callers ;  so  many,  in  fact,  that  we  began 
to  resent,  after  a  while,  this  constant  invasion  of 
our  little  paradise  and  devised  a  method  of  escape. 

By  instructing  Mary  Cecilia  to  say  we  were  out 
—  which  was  true  —  and  lying /m/wj  in  the  ham- 
mocks under  cover  of  the  trees,  we  could  watch 
our  visitors  drive  up  to  the  door,  and,  after  fruitless 
knocking,  depart  with  a  muttered  "not  at  home," 
though  in  driving  around  the  circle  they  passed 
within  ten  feet  of  our  hiding-place. 

Sometimes,  of  course*  we  would    be   glad   of  a 


AN    UNDESIRABLE    CONQUEST.  1/3 

little  outside  society,  and  then  we  had  but  to  make 
our  own  choice  of  company. 

The  victims  of  Vi's  skipping,  dancing,  and  tennis 
successes,  made  up  a  large  majority  of  our  callers  ; 
they  were  youngsters,  for  the  most  part,  with  all 
the  verdant  freshness  of  their  years  sticking  out 
like  a  donkey's  ears,  and  I  am  certain  Vi  fre- 
quently entertained  them  when  she  would  have 
preferred  the  buzzing  of  a  friendly  mosquito  to 
their  conversation,  solely  and  purely  for  the  pur- 
pose of  annoying  Burr,  who  showed  no  signs  of  her 
having  succeeded,  beyond  asking  her  once,  in  a 
lazy  sort  of  way,  if  she  was  fond  of  children,  to  which 
she  retorted  : 

"  No,  not  particularly ;  but  I'm  trying  to  find 
'seventy-two  little  minds  to  teach,'"  which  was 
rather  a  settler  for  him. 

There  is  one  member  of  our  little  society  of  that 
summer  of  whom  I  have  heretofore  made  little  or 
no  mention,  and  that  is  Annie  Martin,  Dolly's 
sister ;  not  by  any  means  because  she  doesn't 
deserve  it,  but -because,  being  older  than  the  rest 
of  us,  she  seldom  entered  very  largely  into  our 
pranks,  and  was  generally  either  in  her  room  or 
wandering  off  on  long  solitary  walks ;  for  there 


174  POLLYS    SCHEME. 

were  many  times  when  she  seemed  to  prefer  her 
own  thoughts  to  any  other  society.  In  fact,  I  think 
some  early  disappointment  must  have  marred, 
though  it  had  not  hardened,  her  whole  life,  for  she 
was  full  of  gentleness  and  sympathy,  and  ever  ready 
to  receive  our  confidences  and  console  us  in  our 
troubles. 

She  was  perfectly  devoted  to  Dolly,  and  would, 
I  believe,  have  made  any  sacrifices,  to  secure  her 
happiness. 

When  I  told  her  about  the  trouble  between  Vi 
and  Burr,  and  asked  her  advice,  she  said  with 
infinite  sweetness  : 

"  Alas  !  George,  we  must  make  or  mar  our  own 
lives,  and  according  to  our  own  choice  find  happi- 
ness or  misery,"  which  more  than  ever  convinced 
me  that  she  had  her  own  burdens  to  bear,  and  that 
they  were  not  light. 


CHAPTER   XII. 

UP    A    TREE. 

AUTUMN   had   come  with  all  its  matchless 
beauty    of    coloring,    and    the    variegated 
shades  of  summer  green  gave  place  to  the  gold  and 
crimson  of  fall. 

The  brisk,  exhilarating  breezes  afforded  a  relief 
to  the  parching  heat  of  summer,  and  stirred  the 
cob'perators  into  a  zest  and  enjoyment  of  the  season 
which  was  only  tempered  by  the  saddening  thought 
that  the  end  was  at  hand.  Yes,  after  a  few 
months  of  almost  undimmed  lustre,  the  last  days 
of  Polly's  scheme  drew  near,  and  in  another  week 
trunks  would  be  packed,  little  knickknacks  taken 
down  from  the  wall,  farewells  spoken,  and  the  dear 
old  Castle  which  had  sheltered  us  so  well  for  the 
summer,  and  so  often  resounded  with  merriment 
and  laughter,  left  to  desolation  and  silence. 

How  many  and  how  varied  had  been  our  experi- 
ences beneath  that  roof ! 

175 


176  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

It  was  like  parting  with  a  loved  friend  to  leave 
it,  and  it  is  hardly  to  be  wondered  at  that  the 
spirit  of  mirth  which  had  reigned  so  long  should 
resign  her  sceptre  to  melancholy  during  the  last 
few  days  we  were  to  spend  together.  Nothing 
save  the  thought  of  meeting  frequently  in  the  city, 
and  living  over  again  in  fancy  the  many  pleasant 
experiences  by  which  we  were  bound  together, 
prevented  us  from  going  about  with  countenances 
as  long  as  yard-sticks,  and  giving  ourselves  up  to 
the  most  dismal  repinings. 

Dreading  lest  we  should  be  pervaded  by  this 
lugubrious  atmosphere  in  any  case,  and  wishing 
the  stick  of  the  rocket  to  come  down  as  bravely  as 
it  went  up,  I  cudgeled  my  brains  for  an  antidote, 
and  finally  made  a  trip  to  the  city,  to  secure,  if 
possible,  a  week's  visit  out  of  my  cousin  James 
Burton  —  Jim,  as  his  intimates  always  called  him 
—  the  well-known  humorist,  confident  that  his 
ready  and  ever-flowing  stream  of  humor  would 
galvanize  a  corpse  if  necessary,  and  keep  a  house- 
ful of  merrily-disposed  people  such  as  we  were,  in 
a  perpetual  condition  of  enjoyment. 

While  I  was  absent  on  this  mission  of  charity, 
another  chapter  of  excitement  was  added  to  the 


UP    A    TREE. 


chronicles  of  the  Castle,  already  so  well-stored 
with  interesting  events  ;  and  though  absent  when  it 
occurred,  I  had  all  the  details  afterwards  from  the  par- 
ticipants, and  can  describe  it  as  accurately  as  though 
I  had  been  an  eye-witness  to  the  entire  adventure. 

It  seems  that  after  my  departure,  the  little  party 
left  behind  had  gathered  around  a  blazing  wood- 
fire  made  in  the  identical  fire-place  which  had  been 
the  scene  of  Vivian  Sylvester's  abortive  effort  in 
the  spring  —  the  chimney,  however,  had  since  been 
subjected  to  a  cleaning  —  and  discussed  the  prob- 
ability of  Jim's  engagements,  always  numerous, 
permitting  him  to  spend  the  week  with  us.  He  was 
a  general  favorite  with  the  party,  and  many  and 
sincere  were  the  hopes  expressed  that  such  might 
prove  to  be  the  case. 

After  exhausting  this  subject,  they  began  to 
weary  of  the  hours  and  tried  a  game  of  lawn  tennis 
for  diversion  ;  somehow,  even  this  old  stand-by 
failed  to  amuse,  and  the  lunch-bell  was  welcomed 
with  avidity.  Over  this  meal  they  dawdled  as 
long  as  possible,  in  a  vain  endeavor  to  kill  time, 
which,  for  some  reason  or  other,  persistently  refused 
to  be  massacred. 

All  things  have  an  end,  however,  and  they  found 


178  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

themselves  presently  with  a  long  afternoon  on 
their  hands,  and  nothing  to  do. 

"  Heigh-ho  !  "  sighed  Burr,  "  this  is  lively  ;  some- 
thing must  be  done,  or  we'll  all  die  of  our  own 
stupidity.  Are  there  any  volunteers  for  a  nutting 
party  ?  " 

Vi  and  Dolly  welcomed  the  idea  with  greedy 
avidity,  and  the  trio  set  out  on  their  excursion, 
plentifully  armed  with  a  large  bag  to  hold  the  fruits 
of  their  industry  ;  for  being  city-bred,  they  were 
blissfully  oblivious  of  the  fact,  that,  in  the  usual 
course  of  events,  nuts  are  not  ready  for  picking  in 
the  early  days  of  September. 

Mrs.  B.  watched  their  departure  sadly,  but  was 
unable  to  accompany  them,  for  she  had  some  let- 
ters on  her  conscience  which  she  had  resolutely 
resolved  to  work  off  that  day,  and  Mabel  was  -lying 
down,  an  attitude  she  assumed  so  frequently  as  to 
suggest  the  appropriateness  of  placing  one  of  those 
marble  saints  lying  prone  on  their  backs,  which 
one  sees  so  often  in  old  grave-yards,  over  her 
remains  when  she  should  finally  wing  her  flight  to 
that  heaven  towards  which  her  eyes  were  so  fre- 
quently turned  in  life. 

The    nutting-party  had  a  delightful  time  of  it 


UP    A    TREE.  I/Q 

wandering  through  the  woods,  vainly  looking  for 
nuts,  but  gathering  fall  leaves  and  ferns  in  their 
stead,  and  rejoicing  that  they  had  found  such  a 
pleasant  way  of  breaking  the  tedious  monotony  of 
the  day.  The  enterprise  was  not  by  any  means 
lacking  in  incident  before  they  came  to  the  climax 
of  the  day's  excitement,  for  a  harmless  garter- 
snake  chanced  to  raise  his  shiny  little  head  in 
their  pathway,  and  to  Vi  and  Dolly's  admiration, 
was  doughtily  attacked  and  slain  by  the  gallant 
Burr,  with  the  assistance  of  a  big  stone. 

There  is  a  peculiar  antipathy  between  women 
and  snakes,  which  probably  owes  its  existence  to 
the  original  encounter  between  Eve  and  the  ser- 
pent, in  which  the  former  was  so  badly  worsted. 

In  obedience,  probably,  to  this  sentiment  of  ven- 
erable origin,  Burr's  companions,  especially  rosy 
little  Dolly,  were  put  entirely  out  of  countenance 
with  the  woods  by  the  encounter  with  the  scaly 
reptile,  and  unanimously  voted  for  a  speedy  escape 
into  open  fields. 

Dolly  was  certain  she  felt  one  of  the  blood- 
thirsty monsters  twisting  and  twining  around  her 
ankle  at  that  very  particular  moment,  and  urged 
upon  the  rest  the  expediency  of  rapid  flight.  Not 


i8o  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

wishing  to  turn  back  over  the  ground  already 
covered,  they  hastened  their  forward  steps  and 
were  soon  extricated  from  their  dire  peril  by  com- 
ing upon  an  orchard,  which,  being  only  sparsely 
covered  with  trees,  fully  met  the  ladies'  approval 
as  an  ark  of  safety. 

The  next  thing  to  do  was  to  pay  their  devoirs  to 
the  fruit,  which,  in  various  stages  of  partial  ripe- 
ness, abounded  around  them.  Not  having  the 
same  wholesome  terror  of  cholera  which  they  had 
of  snakes,  they  proceeded  to  the  performance  of 
this  duty  and  ate  to  their  heart's  content. 

This  made  Burr  lazy,  and  he  climbed  up  into  the 
forked  branches  of  a  comfortable-looking  apple 
tree,  and  gave  himself  up  to  reflection,  while  the 
girls  wandered  off  in  different  directions  in  search 
of  ferns  and  grasses. 

Naturally,  his  meditations  took  the  direction  of 
his  heart,  and  he  indulged  in  day-dreams  of  the 
bliss  in  store  for  him  when  Vi  should  abandon  her 
present  attitude  of  defiance — if  she  ever  did  — 
and  consent  to  make  him  happy. 

He  had  almost  lost  himself  in  fond  imaginings 
of  this  nature,  when  a  shriek  of  absolute  agony 
from  Dolly  caused  him  to  raise  his  -eyes.  -  The  hor- 


UP    A    TREE.  iSl 

rible  scene  on  which  they  alighted  almost  froze 
him  stiff  with  horror. 

This  is  what  he  saw  :  at  what  seemed  a  terrible 
distance,  was  Vi,  her  hat  off,  her  beautiful  hair 
hanging  loose  behind  her,  flying  towards  him  at 
the  top  of  her  speed,  pale  and  almost  breathless  with 
running,  while  tearing  after  her,  and  gaining  fear- 
fully at  every  bound,  was  an  infuriated  bull  bel- 
lowing outrageously,  and  rendered  furious,  probably, 
by  the  sight  of  the  red  cashmere  dress  which  she 
wore,  while  behind  a  neighboring  hedge  crouched 
poor  Dolly,  watching  the  chase,  perfectly  frantic 
with  terror,  but  unable  to  render  any  assistance. 

It  was  a  race  of  life  or  death  ;  that  no  one  could 
doubt  who  looked  once  upon  that  merciless  pur- 
suer. 

Vi  looked  like  a  picture  of  a  flying  nymph.  Not 
a  sound  came  from  the  brave  girl's  lips.  She  evi- 
dently knew  that  all  her  breath  would  be  needed 
for  her  escape  —  if,  indeed,  escape  were  possible 
with  that  terrible  monster  gaining  upon  her  so 
rapidly — and  husbanded  her  strength  accordingly. 

The  desperation  of  the  moment,  the  very  neces- 
sity for  instantaneous  action,  nerved  Burr  into  a 
complete  sense  of  the  situation  and  its  needs. 


1 82  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

His  quick  eye  measured  the  distance  between 
Vi  and  the  protecting  hedge  towards  which  she 
was  running.  Could  she  make  the  distance  in 
time  ?  No  :  it  was  clearly  hopeless,  and  but  one 
terribly  slender  chance  remained. 

"  Here,  Vi !  "  he  shouted.  "  In  God's  name, 
here  !  " 

Without  an  instant's  hesitation,  with  full  faith 
in  the  voice  that  bade  her  come,  Vi  obeyed,  and 
saved  her  life. 

She  reached  him  just  in  time,  for,  as  he  pulled 
her  up  into  the  tree  beside  him  with  a  strength 
that  never  comes  except  in  just  such  an  emergency, 
the  bull  rushed  under  them  with  a  terrific  bellow 
at  being  balked  of  his  prey. 

"  O  God,  I  thank  thee !  "  murmured  Burr  de- 
voutly, overcome  for  a  moment  at  the  near  peril 
and  narrow  escape  through  which  the  woman  he 
loved  better  than  self,  better  than  life,  had  passed. 

Then,  recovering  himself,  he  called  to  the  para- 
lyzed Dolly  to  run  for  assistance,  for  the  exasper- 
ated bull  was  still  bellowing  and  tossing  up  the  sod 
in  his  rage,  and  manifested  every  intention  of 
beseiging  the  tree  and  starving  out  the  garrison. 

Having  seen  Dolly  start  off  on  her  mission,  he 


UP    A   TREE.  183 

turned  calmly  around  to  Vi  who  had  not  yet  recov- 
ered her  breath  or  her  roses,  and  said  as  naturally 
as  though  the  whole  thing  were  some  new  kind  of 
game  : 

"  Well,  Vi,  we're  up  a  tree  !  " 

"  O  Burr !  you  have  saved  my  life." 

"  Now,  isn't  that  regular  woman's  logic  ? 
How  can  you  possibly  tell  but  what  that  old 
bellowing  machine  might  have  respected  your  per- 
son at  the  last  minute  ?  Perhaps  —  reflectively  -r- 
he  only  wanted  the  ribbon  out  of  your  back-hair. 
I  simply  helped  you  to  climb  up  a  tree,  and  all  you 
owe  me  is  a  polite  '  thank  you  kindly,  sir,'  for  my 
considerate  attention." 

"  O  Burr,"  besought  Vi,  "  don't  joke  about  it. 
If  you  could  only  know  what  a  warm  feeling  of 
gratitude  I  have  towards  you  for  your  courage, 
your  presence  of  mind,  your"  —  and  poor  Vi  broke 
down  and  sobbed  as  though  her  heart  would  break. 

"  Now  don't  you  take  it  so  seriously,  little  girl. 
If  you  feel  so  strongly  over  it,  you  might  present 
me  with  a  medal  with  a  bull  rampant  on  one  side, 
and  '  Bully  for  you,'  on  the  other." 

This  persistent  joking  effectually  silenced  poor 
little  Vi,  whose  tender  heart  was  fairly  overflowing 


1 84  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

with  love  for  One  who  apparently  refused  to  accept 
it. 

Now  it  is  very  evident  that  had  Burr  pressed  his 
suit  at  that  moment,  when  for  once  the  barriers 
of  pride  were  broken  down,  instead  of  deliberately 
warding  off  the  blessings  so  freely  off ered  —  though 
it  almost  tore  his  heart-strings  out  to  do  it,  poor 
fellow  !  —  and  persisting  in  treating  the  rescue  as  a 
joke,  he  would  have  stood  no  risk  of  a  refusal. 
He  knew  this  as  well  as  you  do,  and  it  was  that 
knowledge  which  elevated  his  conduct  above  the 
heroic,  and  made  it  sublime. 

For  it  must  be  remembered  that  Burr  Curtis 
had  as  fine  and  true  a  sense  of  chivalry  as  ever 
beat  in  the  heart  of  a  true  gentleman  from  the 
days  of  Charlemagne  down  to  our  prosaic  age ;  and 
to  have  made  or  accepted  any  overtures  from  Vi 
which  might  have  sprung  from  gratitude,  he  would 
have  regarded  as  simply  and  purely  dishonor.  This 
was  the  motive  which  governed  his  action  and  pre- 
vented him,  as  God  knows  he  was  sorely  tempted, 
from  seizing  Vi  in  his  arms,  and  then  and  there 
carrying  his  happiness  by  storm. 

In  his  eagerness  not  to  yield  to  temptation,  how- 
ever, he  went  so  far  the  other  way  that  poor  Vi 


UP    A    TREE.  185 

made  up  her  mind  she  had  worn  out  his  love,  and 
in  proportion  as  she  suffered,  so  did  her  pride 
come  to  the  rescue,  and  she  nerved  herself  to  act 
after  his  own  pattern. 

"That  tender-hearted  little  creature  seems  to 
have  lost  something,"  said  Burr  after  a  pause. 

Vi  started.  She  had  not  recovered  from  the  pail 
of  cold  water  he  had  thrown  over  her  advances, 
and  for  a  moment  positively  thought  he  referred  to 
her,  and  what  she  deemed  her  hopeless  love. 

Then  seeing  that  he  had  reference  to  the  bull, 
who  was  still  throwing  up  the  sod  at  their  feet, 
answered  absently : 

"Yes  ;  I  suppose  so." 

This  sort  of  tete-a-tete  was  certainly  rather  em- 
barrassing to  both  parties,  so  they  made  a  grand 
effort,  and  managed  to  converse  on  ordinary  topics, 
which  consisted  chiefly  in  wondering  when  their 
deliverance  would  come. 

The  bull  grew  weary  after  a  while  of  his  violent 
exercise,  and  stood  there  as  quietly  as  a  sentinel, 
but  was  evidently  waiting  for  this  new  kind 
of  fruit  to  ripen,  and  fall  upon  his  impaling 
horns. 

Even   his  intelligent    eyes  seemed    to  fail  in  a 


1 86  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

comprehension  of  their  conduct,  and  he  looked  up 
at  them  with  a  wondering  eye  which  said  as 
plainly  as  a  bull  can  : 

"  You  both  appear  to  me  to  be  young,  and  well 
favored  ;  why  the  dickens  don't  you  make  the  best 
of  the  situation  ?  You,  Wilbur  Curtis,  why  aren't 
you  holding  that  girl's  hand ;  and  you,  Viola 
Reefer,  why  isn't  your  head  on  that  young  man's 
shoulder,  as  comfortably  as  I  see  the  branches 
of  that  tree  will  admit  of?" 

But  alas  !  They  were  deaf  to  all  voices  from 
within  and  without,  and  the  opportunity  passed  by 
unimproved. 

"  Oh,  the  wasted  hours  of  life  !  " 

It  was  such  a  grand  opportunity  too !  Surely 
no  loving  couple  before  or  since  ever  had  a  better 
one  vouchsafed  them !  Completely  isolated  from 
the  outside  world,  and  with  such  an  efficient  guard 
against  eavesdropping,  what  better  chance  for 
declaring  his  love  could  the  most  exacting  lover 
ask  ? 

But  it  was  past  ;  for  lo  !  Dolly  and  a  couple  of 
stalwart  farm-hands  could  be  seen  approaching 
across  the  fields,  and  Burr  waved  his  handkerchief 
as  a  signal,  at  which  the  bull,  misunderstanding  it, 


UP   A   TREE.  IS/ 

perhaps,  for  a  flag  of  truce,  began  to  bellow  and 
paw  the  earth  as  lustily  as  ever. 

"  Your  reign  is  over,  my  fine  fellow,"  said  Burr, 
"  and  you  are  about  to  be  deposed." 

The  truth  of  this  was  speedily  verified,  for  the 
farmer  boys  came  up,  and  with  shouts  and  goads, 
forced  Master  Bull  to  raise  the  siege,  though  he  did 
it  reluctantly,  and  with  a  lingering  look  at  his 
willsome  prisoners  to  photograph  them  in  his 
memory  for  future  destruction  if  he  ever  obtained 
a  chance  at  them  -in  a  fair  field  and  no  trees. 

Poor  Dolly !  She  had  had  her  share  of  the 
trouble  too ;  with  an  awful  belief  in  a  bull's 
ability  to  climb  a  tree,  which  grew  upon  her  as  she 
went  for  assistance,  her  fast  walk  became  a  jog, 
her  jog  a  run,  as  she  sought  the  nearest  farm- 
house, almost  half  a  mile  distant  from  the  scene  of 
disaster.  Rushing  breathlessly  into  the  house  she 
made  the  following  thrilling  assertion  : 

"  Two  of  my  friends  and  a  bull  are  up  in  a  tree 
in  the  orchard." 

Having  finally  made  the  dazed  and  puzzled 
family  understand  what  had  happened,  two  men 
were  dispatched  to  the  rescue,  and  Dolly  insisted 
upon  accompanying. 


1.88  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

It  was  not  till  she  had  Vi  in  her  arms  and  made 
sure  she  was  alive  and  in  the  flesh,  that  she 
became  satisfied  and  at  rest. 

The  nutting  party  reached  home  without  further 
mischance  and  thrilled  us  with  an  account  of  their 
perils. 

Vi's  face  had  grown  very  pensive  while  Burr 
made  light  of  the  whole  affair,  but  from  the  thank- 
ful look  which  came  into  his  eyes  whenever  they 
strayed  in  Vi's  direction,  I  knew  it  had  been  touch 
and  go. 

At  supper  that  night  I  announced  that  "  Jim  " 
would  be  with  us  on  the  morrow,  and  hearty  con- 
gratulations followed  the  good  tidings. 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

THE  CURTAIN  FALLS. 

FOR  goodness  sake !  Have  you  no  regard  for 
my  earsight,  or  do  you  take  me  for  a  regi- 
ment, that  I  can  hear  you  all  at  once,  from  base 
down  to  falsetto  ?  Buzz !  buzz  !  buzz  !  Give  a 
fellow  a  show,  will  you,  till  I  see  if  I've  got  this 
thing  straight.  Let's  see  ;  you  go  snake  hunting 
in  an  orchard  and  find  a  barrel  of  apples;  then 
Burr  climbs  up  a  bull's  horn  and  goes  to  sleep.  He 
is  aroused  from  gentle  slumber  by  the  shriek  of  a 
railroad  whistle,  and  sees  Vi  racing  towards  him 
bellowing  and  pawing  up  buckets  full  of  sod  at 
every  bound,  closely  followed  by  an  infuriated  tree, 
in  a  red  cashmere  dress,  with  dishevelled  hair ;  at 
this  critical  juncture  Burr  sings  out : 

"'Don't  run  into  the  fence!'  and  pulls  Vi  up  on 

the  unoccupied  bull's  horn,  while  two  farmer  boys 

who  have  been  watching  the  race  behind  a  hedge, 

rush   after  Dolly,  who   chops  down  the  tree  and 

.      ...  ,89 


POLLY  S    SCHEME. 


saves  the  bull's  life.  Wonderful  !  most  wonderful  ! 
My  children,  I  weep  over  your  escape  ;  such  an 
example  to  generations  yet  unborn,  should  not  be 
encouraged." 

There  was  no  possibility  of  mistaking  the  author 
of  this  new  version  of  the  bull  catastrophe.  Trans- 
plant me  to  Egypt,  and  set  Jim  Burton  to  rhapso- 
dizing behind  an  obelisk  anywhere  within  earshot, 
and  I  would  have  no  difficulty  in  naming  the 
speaker. 

Yes;  Jim  was  with  us,  and  we  rejoiced  accord- 
ingly. Ever  since  his  arrival  we  had  been  convul- 
sed with  laughter,  and  never  wearied  of  suggesting 
topics  for  his  novel  method  of  treatment. 

A  star  of  the  first  magnitude  before  the  public, 
as  his  many  successful  appearances  amply  prove,  it 
was  still  in  private  life  that  his  natural  talents 
shone  with  their  brightest  lustre,  and  those  who 
have  known  him  only  as  Burton  the  humorist 
before  the  foot-light,  or  on  the  lecture-stand,  little 
dream  of  the  fund  of  original  humor  which  he 
reserves  for  the  fireside  of  his  own  familiar  friends. 
Still  less  do  they  know  of  the  heart  of  gold 
which  beats  responsive  to  the  needs  of  all  those 
with  whom  the  world's  buffetings  brings  him  in 


THE    CURTAIN    FALLS.  -19 1 

contact  ;  for  with  all  the  stamina  and  sturdy  inde- 
pendence of  a  thorough  man,  Jim  blends  an  almost 
womanly  tenderness  and  perception  of  the  troubles 
of  others,  and  thought  and  action  are  simultaneous 
in  coming  to  their  relief.  Of  course  Jim  is  float- 
ing comfortably  along  now  on  the  crested  wave  of 
success ;  but  it  is  not  very  long  ago  that  he  was 
struggling  along,  his  talents  still  unrecognized,  in 
that  seething  mass  of  humanity  who  have  failed, 
as  yet,  to  receive  the  guinea  stamp  of  public 
approval,  and  I  am  tempted  to  write  down  two 
little  anecdotes  of  his  life  at  that  time,  to  illustrate 
the  character  of  this  cousin  of  mine. 

He  had  been  South  for  his  health  one  winter  — 
for  to  his  other  difficulties  was  added  that  gnawing 
and  aggravating  disorder,  chronic  rheumatism  — 
and  the  early  spring  found  him  on  the  steamer,  home- 
ward bound  with  an  empty  purse,  but  a  light  heart, 
and  considerably  improved  in  health,  to  fulfill  his 
spring  engagements  and  resume  his  battle  with  the 
world.  It  did  not  take  his  fellow-voyagers  long, 
you  may  be  sure,  to  find  out  his  talents,  and  they 
managed  to  secure  a  whole  entertainment  out  of 
him  every  evening  of  the  passage  —  gratuitously 
given,  of  course,  for  he  looked  upon  himself  as  out 


192  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

of  harness,  and  ever  ready  to  oblige.  One  day, 
when  the  trip  was  about  half  completed,  Jim  was 
taking  a  constitutional  on  the  deck,  conning  over 
one  of  his  pieces,  when  his  eye  chanced  to  alight 
upon  a  man  and  two  children  all  clad  in  deepest 
mourning,  who  were  seated  on  a  bench  looking 
sadly  out  across  the  ocean.  He  had  noticed  them 
several  times  before  on  his  wanderings  around  the 
ship,  and  wondered  at  their  never  being  present  at 
the  nightly  gathering  in  the  saloon.  Instinctively, 
he  felt  they  were  in  great  trouble,  and  stopping  in 
his  walk  he  said  to  the  father  in  that  sympathetic 
voice  so  impossible  to  resist : 

"  What's  the  trouble,  my  friend ;  and  how  is  it  we 
never  see  you  and  the  little  ones  in  Social  Hall  ?  " 

"  Oh,  sir,"  answered  the  man  sadly,  "  we're  in 
no  humor  for  company.  I  have  just  lost  my  wife 
and  am  on  my  way  North,  without  means,  to  try 
and  find  work  to  support  my  children  here." 

Jim  said  a  few  encouraging  words  and  left  them, 
feeling  none  the  worse  for  the  sound  of  a  friendly 
voice.  He  did  not  forget  them,  though,  and  that 
night  in  Social  Hall,  as  the  saloon  is  called,  before 
beginning  his  usual  entertainment,  he  told  his 
audience  in  a  few  simple,  but  well-chosen  words,  of 


THE    CURTAIN    FALLS.  193 

the  distressing  story  he  had  listened  to,  and 
announced  his  intention  of  taking  up  a  contribu- 
tion on  the  unfortunate  man's  behalf,  at  the  con- 
clusion of  the  evening.  The  result  was  a  purse  of 
twenty  dollars ;  and  when  he  handed  it  to  the  be- 
reaved man  and  he  burst  into  tears  and  words  of 
gratitude,  all  Jim  said  was  : 

"  Pshaw  !  my  friend,  you'd  have  done  the  same 
for  me." 

At  another  time  he  was  down  at  the  Hot 
Sulphur  Springs  in  Arkansas,  to  reap  the  benefit 
of  the  baths ;  and  finding  they  charged  such  exor- 
bitant prices  for  everything,  from  a  towel  up,  that 
his  resources  wouldn't  stand  the  shock,  he  resolved 
to  eke  them  out  by  giving  an  entertainment. 

The  landlord  of  the  hotel  nothing  loath  to  have 
amusement  for  his  guests,  gave  him  the  use  of  his 
dining-room,  and  it  was  duly  placarded  forth  that 
on  such  and  such  an  evening  Jas.  Burton,  the 
humorist  from  New  York,  would  give  an  entertain- 
ment in  the  dining-room  of  the  Spring  House,  at 
fifty  cents  a  head. 

When  the  evening  came,  Jim  was  standing  in 
the  office  in  regulation  costume  watching  the 
audience  assemble,  and  rejoicing  in  the  belief  that 


194  POLLYS    SCHEME. 

he  already  had  a  thirty-dollar  house,  when  all  of  a 
sudden  a  short,  thick-set  little  man  with  a  bald 
head,  rushed  into  the  office  and  shouted : 

"  Where's  this  James  Burton  the  humorist  ? " 
"That's   my   name   and   occupation,"    said  Jim 
politely. 

"  The  deuce  it  is  !     Well,  I'll  trouble  you  to  show 
me  your  lecture  license,  young  man." 
"Alas  !  I  am  not  a  licensed  vender." 
"  You're  not,  eh  ?     Humph  !     Well,  I'll  trouble 
you  for  fifty  dollars  to  pay  your  fine  with,  then,  for 
advertising  a  pay  show  without  license,  subject  to 
thirty  days'  arrest  for  non-payment." 

Here  was  a  quandary  with  a  vengeance.  An 
audience  waiting,  fifty  dollars  fine  to  pay,  arrest 
staring  him  in  the  face,  and  ten  dollars  in  his 
pocket. 

"  Who  are  you,  sir  ?  "  said  Jim  politely,  after  a 
pause. 

"I  am  the  Mayor  of  this  town,  young  man." 
"Well,  Mr.  Mayor,  to  tell  the  solemn  truth,  I 
haven't  fifty  dollars  in  the  world ;  but  I  think  I  can 
make  it  this  evening.  Will  your  Honor  permit  me 
to  go  on  with  the  entertainment,  and  pay  the  fine 
afterward  ? " 


THE   CURTAIN    FALLS.  195 

This  was  novel,  but  perfectly  in  accord  with 
Western  ideas  of  justice,  and  the  Mayor  readily 
yielded  the  point. 

"  And  be  sure  to  come  yourself  and  bring  your 
family,"  said  Jim,  handing  him  some  tickets.  After 
the  third  piece,  sure  enough,  in  walked  the  Mayor 
with  his  wife  and  offspring.  Shows  were  a  rarity 
in  Arkansas,  and  curiosity  proved  too  strong  for  the 
maintenance  of  his  official  dignity. 

From  that  moment,  Jim  recited  directly  at  that 
stern  arbiter  of  his  fate,  and  success  attended  his 
efforts. 

The  Mayor  ha-ha'd  louder  than  any  one  else  in 
the  audience  over  the  comic  sketches,  and  wiped 
his  eyes  over  the  pathetic  ones,  until  it  seemed  as 
though  they  must  be  full  of  cinders  ;  and  Jim  felt 
that  he  had  him  safe. 

At  the  conclusion  of  the  entertainment,  the  first 
one  to  meet  him  on  coming  out  of  the  room  was 
the  worthy  Mayor. 

"  Oh  !  "  said  Jim,  "you're  after  that  fine." 

"  Deuce  take  the  fine !  I  want  you  to  under- 
stand, young  man,  that  you  won't  require  any 
license  in  this  town  until  after  another  election 
for  Mayor ;  and  my  wife  wants  you  to  come  to 


196  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

dinner   to-morrow.       Six    sharp  !       Understand  ?  " 

Such  was  Jim  Burton.  He  and  Burr  are  my  two 
most  intimate  and  cared-for  friends  ;  and  I  doubt  if 
any  one  can  produce  a  stronger  team. 

After  the  others  had  almost  torn  him  limb  from 
limb  in  their  zeal  and  eagerness  to  tell  him  all  the 
news,  I  managed  to  push  him  bodily  into  a  room, 
and  by  locking  and  barricading  the  door,  secured 
half  an  hour  of  his  society  to  myself.  He  was  very 
much  interested  in  hearing  about  the  workings 
of  the  cooperative  plan,  and  delighted  to  learn  of 
the  success  which  had  attended  the  experiment. 
Among  the  rest,  I  related  all  the  details  of  the  Vi 
and  Burr  romance,  and  the  unsatisfactory  state  of 
affairs  which  existed  in  what  was  once  a  bud  of 
such  unusual  promise. 

"Not  reconciled  yet,  eh?  By  all  that's  good 
and  beautiful,  that  is  too  bad !  Say,  George,  I'll  try 
my  hand  at  helping  these  silly  folks  out  the  ditch 
if  you  say  so." 

"  I  ask  nothing  better,  my  dear  fellow,"  I  replied; 
"  but  I  warn  you  in  advance  that  the  angel  Gabriel 
in  person  couldn't  bring  about  a  reconciliation." 

"Well,  it  won't  break  any  bones  to  try,"  said  he; 
and  so  it  was  agreed  that  he  should  try  the  effect 


THE    CURTAIN    FALLS.  1 97 

of  his  diplomacy  and  see  what  it  would  accomplish, 
though  I  must  confess  that  my  faith  was  consider- 
ably less  than  a  grain  of  mustard-seed. 

There  was  to  be  a  hop  at  the  Templeton  that 
evening  —  the  scene  of  my  own  and  poor  Burr's 
abortive  strategy  —  and  we  had  chartered  a  stage 
to  take  us  there  ;  for  no  other  form  of  amusement 
presented  itself,  and  we  felt  that  we  ought  to  do 
something  unusual  to  celebrate  Jim's  arrival.  As 
it  turned  out,  however,  we  might  better  have 
remained  at  home ;  for,  of  all  the  stupid  affairs  I 
ever  attended,  that  hop  took  the  palm. 

Being  late  in  the  season,  almost  every  one — in- 
cluding a  majority  of  the  band  members  — had  left ; 
and  the  ball-room  reminded  one  of  "  some  banquet 
hall  deserted,"  too  strongly  for  any  great  amount 
of  festivity.  As  it  was,  we  were  glad  to  call  up 
our  stage  and  depart  after  the  first  dance — a  lugubri- 
ous lancers — waded  through  in  such  solemn  fashion 
that  the  dance  of  death  would  be  cheerful  in  com- 
parison. 

It  took  us  some  time  to  recover  our  spirits,  and 
it  was  not  till  we  arrived  at  the  Castle  and  Jim  had 
given  us  some  of  his  side-splitting  sketches,  that  we 
really  felt  ourselves  again.  The  last  piece  he 


198  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

recited  that  night  —  and  his  voice  grew  very  tender 
as  he  lingered  over  the  lines — was  Jean  Ingelow's 
Divided,  one  of  the  most  natural  and  touching 
descriptions  of  a  lover's  quarrel  ever  written,  and 
when  he  finished,  all  our  eyes  were  moist,  while  a 
sort  of  tender  light  flickered  for  a  moment  over  the 
faces  of  Vi  and  Burr  and  then  went  out  again,  but 
left  a  softened  expression  behind  it. 

I  knew  right  well  what  prompted  the  selection  of 
piece,  and  began  to  hope  that,  after  all,  Jim  might 
find  a  solution  of  the  difficulty. 

How  pleasantly  those  last  few  evenings  passed ! 
We  used  to  gather  around  a  cheerful  wood-fire — for 
the  nights  had  grown  chilly — and  alternately  listen 
to  Jim's  pieces  and  go  over  past  scenes  till  mid- 
night. Sometimes  Jim  would  take  the  cover  off 
his  banjo  and  play  by  the  hour,  one  moment  accom- 
panying himself  as  he  sang  some  popular  air  of  the 
day,  the  next  drawing  soft  dreamy  sounds  from 
his  instrument  as  he  touched  one  delicious  chord 
after  the  other,  while  we  listened  entranced  by  the 
music  he  produced. 

It  seemed  as  though  the  music  and  the  mellow, 
fitful  light  from  the  old-fashioned  fire-place — we 
discarded  lamps  on  these  occasions — recalled  ten- 


THK    CURTAIN    FALLS.  199 

* 

der  memories  of  past  scenes,  and  of  those  who  had 
once  been  part  of  our  chaplet.  The  Hill  wigs  with 
their  genial  smiles,  poor  Mortimer  and  his  unfortu- 
nate love,  and  even  the  Thompsons  came  in  for 
many  a  good  word  in  those  evening  stances  over 
the  warmth  of  the  blazing  logs. 

Jim  gave  us  his  evenings  cheerfully,  but  his  days 
were  passed  chiefly  in  his  room,  over  some  work 
of  a  private  nature,  requiring  solitude,  apparently, 
for  its  performance ;  and  as  soon  as  we  found  out 
that  he  really  desired  it,  we  left  him  alone  and  un- 
molested. This  seclusion  used  to  puzzle  me  con- 
siderably, for  I  knew  he  made  a  point  of  never 
studying  his  pieces  when  on  a  visit,  and  I  felt  cer- 
tain that  his  hours  of  solitude  would  bear  fruit  be- 
fore he  left  ;  and  so  they  did. 

About  three  days  before  the  break-up,  when  the 
flurry  of  preparation  had  already  made  itself  felt  in 
the  land,  Jim  came  to  me  one  morning  and  said : 

"  George,  I  want  you  to  make  up  a  party  this 
afternoon  for  a  walk,  leaving  the  Martin  girls  out. 
I  have  a  special  object  in  view." 

"  All  right,"  said  I,  wondering  what  in  the  world 
he  was  up  to. 

In  accordance  with  Jim's  request,  I  worked  for 


2OO  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

the  party  he  required,  and  fortune  favored  me ;  for 
the  Martin  girls  went  to  the  village  right  after 
lunch. 

The  walking-party  wandered  all  over  the  well- 
known  grounds,  each  spot  of  which  had  its  associ- 
ations, taking  a  final  look  at  each  familiar  object, 
until  weary  and  depressed  at  the  prospect  of  leav- 
ing all  its  charms  behind  us,  we  threw  ourselves 
down  in  the  warm  sunlight  and  looked  silently  and 
dreamily  out  on  the  sound. 

"  Give  us  a  recitation,  Jim,"  sighed  Mrs.  B.,  after 
a  long  pause. 

"  Oh,  do  ! "  chorused  the  rest  eagerly. 

"Something  pathetic,"  added  Vi,  flashing  her 
dark  gray  eyes  beseechingly  upon  him. 

"  Well,  if  you'll  excuse  the  conceit  of  an  author 
vending  his  own  wares,  I  believe  I'll  read  you  a 
little  composition  of  my  own,"  responded  Jim  to 
our  appeal,  drawing  a  manuscript  from  his  pocket 
as  he  spoke.  "It  is  entitled  SheatJiing  the 
Sword." 

"  How  nice  !  "  ejaculated  the  ladies  ;  and  Jim 
opened  his  manuscript. 

His  composition  began  with  the  time-honored 
fairy  lore  introduction,  "Once  upon  a  time."  It 


THE    CURTAIN    FALLS.  2OI 

was  written  in  prose,  but  truer  poetry  in  the  proper 
meaning  of  the  word,  was  never  penned  than  fell 
in  softly-modulated  accents  from  Jim's  lips,  as  we 
sat  there  by  the  sound,  that  lovely  autumn  afternoon. 

Before  he  had  read  ten  lines  I  knew  it  was  the 
story  of  Vi  and  Burr — their  love  and  estrangement ; 
and  Jim's  recent  craving  to  be  alone  was  a  mystery 
no  longer.  As  he  went  on  they  all  recognized  the 
personal  application  of  his  story,  in  spite  of  its 
veiling  of  time,  place  and  person. 

He  touched  lightly  and  humorously  on  the  cause 
of  the  estrangement,  just  lingering  long  enough  to 
demonstrate  the  folly  in  which  it  had  its  origin, 
and  then  went  on  to  speak  of  the  deep,  true  love 
each  felt  for  the  other  through  it  all ;  "  though  the 
lowering  clouds  descended  upon  them,  and  hid 
their  love  from  each  other's  sight,  and  the  dreary, 
misty  rain  of  doubt  strove  to  wash  it  out  of  exist- 
ence, but  when  the  clouds  and  the  mists  vanished, 
the  mountains  remained,  and  so  did  their  love,  for, 
like  the  mountains,  it  was  fixed  and  immortal." 

Oh,  the  exquisitely  tender  tones  of  his  voice  as 
it  rose  and  fell  over  this  part  of  his  story  !  It  was 
like  an  inspired'  musician  striking  chords  never 
heard  before  by  mortal  ear. 


2O2  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

Jim  had  found  the  most  attentive  audience  of  his 
life.  Tears  found  their  way  unbidden  to  our  eyes  ; 
and  when,  after  a  long  misunderstanding,  he  fin- 
ished up  with  a  reconciliation,  equally  affecting  and 
tender,  not  a  word  marred  the  silence  which  fol- 
lowed. 

Vi,  her  beautiful  head  bent  down  to  conceal  all 
she  felt,  half-raised  her  hand  and  then  let  it  fall 
again  at  her  side. 

Quick  as  the  action  was,  however,  Burr  saw  it, 
and  with  a  cry  of  "  Vi,  my  own  darling!"  he  sprang 
to  her  side,  and  took  her  unresisting  hand  in  his. 

"I've  —  I've  seventy-two  little  minds  to — to 
forgive  you,  Burr,"  she  half-sobbed,  half-laughed  as 
he  followed  up  his  advances  by  taking  her  in  his 
arms,  whence  she  was  never  more  to  escape. 

It  was  laughable  to  see  Vi  sticking  to  the  letter, 
even  in  her  concessions,  and  Jim,  springing  briskly 
to  his  feet,  exclaimed  : 

"  Say,  Polly  B.,  where's  that  magnificent  ruin 
you  promised  to  show  me  ?  There  doesn't  seem  to 
be  anything  very  ruinous  about  here !  "  and  we  left 
the  lovers  alone  in  their  newly-found  rapture. 

So  the  romance  came  to  a  satisfactory  conclusion, 
after  all ;  and  as  I  looked  back  through  the  trees, 


THE    CURTAIN    FALLS.  2O3 

and  saw  proud  but  tender  Vi's  little  head  fall  on 
Burr's  willing  shoulder,  I  blessed  the  stars  which 
had  brought  Jim  Burton  to  the  rescue. 

Perhaps  the  lovers  didn't  go  through  an  ordeal 
of  teasing  that  night  when  they  came  home  late  for 
dinner  !  Vi,  blushing  like  an  Italian  sunset,  and 
Burr  trying  to  look  as  though  he  hadn't  just  come 
into  an  immense  fortune ;  and  perhaps  that  bulletin- 
board  wasn't  put  at  their  sole  and  absolute  disposal 
during  the  remainder  of  our  stay  at  Maple  Grove ; 
and  perhaps  Frederick  William  didn't  score  a  hit 
the  next  evening,  when  Mary  Cecilia  brought  him 
into  the  parlor  for  his  regular  good-night  kiss  all 
around,  by  saying  suddenly  :  "  Oh,  mamma  !  I  saw 
uncle  Burr  tiss  aunt  Vi  in  the  hammock  this 
morning."  Perhaps  not ! 

Saturday  morning  was  to  witness  the  fall  of  the 
curtain  on  our  little  summer  drama,  and  Friday 
afternoon  the  Hillwigs  drove  up  from  the  city, 
having  returned  from  Canada  earlier  than  they 
intended,  especially  to  take  p#rt  with  us  in  the  cere- 
monies of  the  last  night  at  Maple  Grove. 

Vi  was  duly  congratulated  on  her  engagement, 
though  when  asked  whether  her  mother  had  been 
informed  of  her  rash  step,  she  was  obliged  to  plead 


2O4  POLLY  S    SCHEME. 

guilty,  and  admit  that  Burr  had  thought  it  better 
for  him  to  see  her  first,  whereupon  May  Hillwig 
declared  that  the  members  of  the  Reefer  family 
were  famous  for  rushing  into  anything  like  mad, 
and  then  consulting  "  mamma "  afterwards,  to 
which  Vi  retorted  that  she  had  only  followed  in  the 
footsteps  of  her  illustrious  sister,  and  May  was 
silenced ;  for  it  was  not  till  Hillwig  cabled  over  from 
Europe  for  her  hand,  that  Mrs.  Reefer  learned  of 
the  romance  between  her  and  her  German  lover. 
The  arrival  of  the  Hillwigs  completed  the  original 
party  of  cooperators,  with  the  exception  of  the 
Thompsons,  whose  loss  was  more  than  compen- 
sated for*  by  the  addition  of  the  lovers  and  the 
Martin  girls,  to  say  nothing  of  Jim,  who  was  a  host 
in  himself,  and  we  resolved  to  bring  our  summer 
to  a  fitting  conclusion. 

In  pursuance  of  this  resolution,  Jim  and  I  made  a 
glorious  bowl  of  lemonade,  while  Mary  Cecilia  con- 
tributed a  juicy  oyster  pie  of  generous  proportions 
to  the  occasion. 

"The  cooperative  plan,"  shouted  Burr  as  soon 
as  the  glasses  were  filled ;  "  may  it  bloom  afresh 
every  summer!" 

"  Gracious,  man  !  "   queried  Jim.     "  Aren't  you 


THE    CURTAIN    FALLS.  2O$ 

satisfied   yet  ?     Do  you  want  a  fresh  wife   every 
year?  " 

Alternate  applause  and  laughter  greeted  the 
sentiment  and  the  sally  which  followed  it,  and  it 
was  agreed  on  all  hands  that  the  cooperative  plan 
had  been  a  success  and  had  led  to  a  summer  of 
unprecedented  enjoyment.  "  Our  lovers  "  was  the 
next  toast,  and  Burr  was  called  upon  to  respond, 
which  he  did  very  successfully,  considering  his 
personal  interest  in  the  toast,  though  Jim  did 
beseech  him  to  secure  the  services  of  a  friend  next 
time  he  was  called  upon.  Altogether,  the  evening 
was  as  pleasant  as  any  of  its  predecessors,  and 
made  it  harder  than  ever  to  part  with  each  other ; 
but  alas !  all  things  —  especially  the  good  ones  — 
have  an  end  upon  this  under  globe,  and  the 
following  morning  the  much-dreaded  parting  came. 

With  a  sigh,  perchance  a  tear,  we  bade  farewell 
to  each  other  and  the  Castle,  and  our  paths 
which  had  lain  side  by  side  for  a  brief  season, 
diverged,  perhaps  never  again  to  meet. 

It  was  satisfactory,  at  any  rate,  to  feel  that  for 
once  the  assertion  that  one  roof  can  only  afford 
harmonious  shelter  to  one  family,  had  been  proven 
a  fallacy. 


2o6  POLLY'S  SCHEME. 

• 

Burr  and  Vi  are  going  to  be  married  in  the 
spring,  with  Mrs.  Reefer's  hearty  approval  and 
sanction. 

Vi  writes  that  she  has  the  famous  letter,  and 
threatens  Burr  with  a  quotation  every  time  he 
grows  contumacious  ;  and  she  adds : 

"  I  have  dear  old  Jim's  composition  too,  SJieatJi- 
ing  the  Sword,  which  brought  me  my  happiness, 
and  I  shall  never  part  with  it  as  long  as  I  live, 
never  !  " 

Dolly  is  engaged  to  be  married  to  a  "  big  blonde," 
and  Annie  is  going  to  live  with  her.  How  Morti- 
mer views  the  arrangement,  and  whether  he  still 
wears  a  horseshoe  shirt  pattern,  I  have  never  been 
able  to  ascertain. 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  Irving  are  progressing  nicely, 
though  Mabel  still  feels  faint  occasionally. 

Burr's  practice  is  continually  on  the  increase, 
and  Vi  makes  him  spend  every  evening  with  her, 
as  she  says  such  a  wild  young  fellow  is  not  to  be 
trusted.  However,  as  he  doesn't  complain,  it  is 
fair  to  presume  that  he  finds  his  yoke  easy  to  bear. 

As  for  the  Hill  wigs,  Mrs.  B.  keeps  getting 
letters  from  May,  urging  us  to  take  a  flat  in  the 
same  building  with  them,  and  suggesting  the 


THE    CURTAIN    FALLS.  2QJ 

advisability  of  our  giving  a  dual  donation  party, 
and  inviting  all  our  friends  —  the  cooperators,  of 
course,  among  the  first  —  to  come  and  bring  some- 
thing with  them. 

Was  "  Polly's  scheme  "  a  success  or  a  failure  ? 


» 


